"Forever Friends"..........to Helen

Forever Friends…..

In life, we are given many friends. 

Friends “since birth”, friends from school, friends from church.

We have friends who share “trouble” with us and friends who keep us from same.

Friends who are also siblings and friends who we would have never imagined being friends with except for our life’s circumstances.

I have had the humble honor lately of being in contact with some of my lifelong friends and it has been a blessing.

I purposely dropped by one of such friends this week…I had not seen her in a while....very unusual for us.  

My heart raced as I drove onto her street.  It raced even more quickly as I saw the lights on in her home.  She’s home…she’s here. ….

I quickly stepped to the door which her husband opened…walked into the room and straight into the warm and kind arms of one of my most precious friends.

My tears were heavy….

We caught up on the surface things going on in our life and then she said what I knew would be coming…”okay, now tell me what is really going on in your life”.  I confess that I didn’t go there to share sadness with her.  I wanted to keep things light and “happy”…it was easier to pretend.

But, she would not allow that.

Again…”Lesa…how are you really?”  You can share anything with me.

And, so I did.

It was refreshing to actually be able to bare my soul to someone whom I knew would hold sacred the pain of my heart…who would listen quietly and who would love me through my sharing…

And, she did.

But, even more precious to me is that we didn’t live in the pain…she held my hand as we walked through it, kind eyes staying focused on me as the words tumbled out of my heart…

I shared truth with her.  I shared sadness.  I shared heartache.

And, then my story was over and she said, “Lesa, that is “LIFE”….and, it is one reason God gave us to one another…to help each other make it through this earthly life.

We embraced hard…the kind of hug which will keep you going until next time you meet…even if that meeting is not until heaven.

Her hug was real…I felt it to my soul.

Her love for me was true.  I felt it in my heart.

And, I left with no promises of when to meet next, but rather, with the knowledge that our love and friendship would last until that time…whenever it was.

I drove home…no longer alone in my car, but filled with the sweet thoughts of my precious friend.

Once home, I greeted my sons….they  said they missed me…I liked being missed.

I sat down to my facebook page and there it was…a message from my friend.

“I love you Lesa…..You are my “forever friend”.

I am grateful.

Blessings on your day,

Lesa

"Forever Friends"..........to Helen

Forever Friends…..

In life, we are given many friends. 

Friends “since birth”, friends from school, friends from church.

We have friends who share “trouble” with us and friends who keep us from same.

Friends who are also siblings and friends who we would have never imagined being friends with except for our life’s circumstances.

I have had the humble honor lately of being in contact with some of my lifelong friends and it has been a blessing.

I purposely dropped by one of such friends this week…I had not seen her in a while....very unusual for us.  

My heart raced as I drove onto her street.  It raced even more quickly as I saw the lights on in her home.  She’s home…she’s here. ….

I quickly stepped to the door which her husband opened…walked into the room and straight into the warm and kind arms of one of my most precious friends.

My tears were heavy….

We caught up on the surface things going on in our life and then she said what I knew would be coming…”okay, now tell me what is really going on in your life”.  I confess that I didn’t go there to share sadness with her.  I wanted to keep things light and “happy”…it was easier to pretend.

But, she would not allow that.

Again…”Lesa…how are you really?”  You can share anything with me.

And, so I did.

It was refreshing to actually be able to bare my soul to someone whom I knew would hold sacred the pain of my heart…who would listen quietly and who would love me through my sharing…

And, she did.

But, even more precious to me is that we didn’t live in the pain…she held my hand as we walked through it, kind eyes staying focused on me as the words tumbled out of my heart…

I shared truth with her.  I shared sadness.  I shared heartache.

And, then my story was over and she said, “Lesa, that is “LIFE”….and, it is one reason God gave us to one another…to help each other make it through this earthly life.

We embraced hard…the kind of hug which will keep you going until next time you meet…even if that meeting is not until heaven.

Her hug was real…I felt it to my soul.

Her love for me was true.  I felt it in my heart.

And, I left with no promises of when to meet next, but rather, with the knowledge that our love and friendship would last until that time…whenever it was.

I drove home…no longer alone in my car, but filled with the sweet thoughts of my precious friend.

Once home, I greeted my sons….they  said they missed me…I liked being missed.

I sat down to my facebook page and there it was…a message from my friend.

“I love you Lesa…..You are my “forever friend”.

I am grateful.

Blessings on your day,

Lesa

As Only Your Mama Can…                                 January 18, 2014

Life Lesson Number 5:  Worship for Him

Sixteen years ago or so, I went to a Christian Women's Conference with Mrs. Helen, her  mother, and a few other women friends.  It was to be a weekend of "girl-time", worship, and fun.  As the mother of three young children all under seven, I struggled to even go but Helen ignored my concerns and booked me along with the rest of the women.

I am forever grateful.

I come from a faith background which was considered more stoic and quiet.  They came from a faith background which was "charismatic" and open.

So, it is no surprise that I felt a little overwhelmed that first night as the majority of women in the audience were dancing and singing and raising hands in praise to God, that I felt a little out of my element.

Okay….a lot out of my element.

The speaker led these women to a type of worship I did not understand because I had never before experienced it…

They lived out their joy….happiness….excitement for being a daughter of Him in a way which I had never before experienced.

For the first full evening and the following morning, I stood with the women…and watched.

I took in the words of God as shared through the speaker….and listened.

But, I did not move.

And, then it happened…..

Helen's mother leaned over to me and asked, "Lesa, are you okay?"

I nodded, yes.

It's not that I didn't want to participate….its that I did not know how.

She leaned back over and said, "Honey, I promise you this….some day, when we all get to heaven and see Jesus….we will be celebrating His life in ways we cannot even imagine today."

Later that evening, we talked a little more.  She didn't pressure me to "behave" outwardly in a way in which I was uncomfortable.  She didn't belittle me for my need to be more reserved.  She didn't treat me as immature in my faith because I didn't worship the way she did.

But, she did encourage me to think about all Jesus has done for me.  All that He has given me through his life.  All that He sacrificed…..for me

She talked to me about how he willingly made himself lower than the angels…for me

How He left the security of His Father....for me

How He was made into man so that He could example for me how to live on this earth in the short time I will be given.

She shared about His willingness not only to die for me…but, to die in what was then considered one of the most horrible of deaths…reserved for the lowliest of criminals…

Crucifixion on a cross which He carried after being unholy beaten….

For me

Her warm hands held fast to my cool ones and she looked into my eyes…way way deep into my soul and she said, "Lesa, when I fully and truly understand all that Christ has done for me…for you…I realize that it is cause for celebration!"

"The gift He has given us is Holy….Eternal…."

"You do not have to worship the way we do.  You do not have to lift your hands…or sing at the top of your lungs….or dance with joy to worship God."

She said, "But, sweetie….when you finally, truly, fully understand way deep in your soul where God lives, what He has done for us….you will celebrate in your own way…don't be afraid to let go and rejoice in all you have been given because of Him."

I never did dance and sing the way they did at that conference….

But, what I did learn from Mrs. Jacoby that day forever changed my worship….

Before, I worshiped for me…..for my growth and needs

Now, I worship for HIM….in celebration and gratefulness for who He is

For the days I have been given on this earth are precious….sacred days given to me so that my every breathe may be given over in worship of Him…..

There is an abandon….a freeing up of myself….my soul….my heart in my worship……

There is a gratefulness….a thanksgiving…..a humble gratitude for the life He has given me…

When you let go of worshipping for self….and, move into worshiping for Him…

When you give over your heart in total submission and appreciation…

When you open your mind to the wonder and joy and amazing grace of God….

You cannot help but be changed….

And, it may be that in that change, you are freed up to worship in ways you can only imagine….

Celebrate Him as you worship, daughter….

There is no greater gift given to you…to me…to us…than to have someone lay down their life for ours….

He has done that….

What a day of rejoicing that is!

And, personally……

                                                                      

 

                                                                       I hope you dance…….

 

 

Blessings,

Mama

 

 

 

 

As Only Your Ladder Can.....

 

January 11, 2014

Life Lesson Number 4:

 

NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS LIKE YOU DO

 

     Sound harsh?  Sound uncaring?  But it’s reality.  It’s truth.  It doesn’t mean you have to act and feel this way, but it is the way the world, America, and corporate America is. 

     So what does this mean to you?  How do you function in a world that does not care as much about your business as it does it's own?  Do you not trust anyone?  Do you not take anyone at their word? The answer to these questions is yes, you trust people, you take them at their word, with the understanding that at some point you may be disappointed.  We are all human, we make mistakes, we are forgetful, we are busy, we have our own business we are taking care of.  There is only one that will not disappoint you: God said in Deuteronomy 31:6 and repeated it in Hebrews 13:5 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

    At some point your spouse, your parents, your siblings, your minister, your best friend will disappoint you.  They will forget to do something, they will drop the ball.  These people love you and have your best interest at heart and it still happens.  Think about the world and America who doesn’t love you and has it’s own interest it heart. It doesn’t mean you don’t trust them, or take their word on things.  You learn to follow up. 

     So what does all of this mean?  When there is something important you have to rely on help from someone else to get done for you; when you ask them to do this thing, when you make an order, when you fill out a request.  You tell them, you will follow up and contact them if you have not heard from them in a week, a month, whatever is an appropriate time frame to have what they are doing completed.  It may mean you contact them every day.  Read the account of the Persistent Widow in Luke 18:1-5.  She didn’t rely on someone else, she kept going to the judge until he took care of her business.   

     So when I need something done, I ask myself, how important is it that this gets done and done by such in such time?  My job relies on it, my health relies on it, my school needs rely on it, the needs of my family rely on it, my wife will be very hurt and disappointed if it doesn’t get done, then I am going to do the best I can to do it myself, or at least I let the person I am dealing with know how important it is and that I will be following up.  I ask them if it is too much for them to do this, I need to know now rather than later, and I appreciate them being honest up front when they tell me, they just don’t think they can do this by the time I need it. 

     Another lesson of life related to this I have learned and pass along to you.  When someone asks me can you do something for me (I’m not talking about getting them a cup of water, when I go to the store, pick them up something) I mean something that will require time and effort from me; my reply is, I will have to check with my wife and get back to you.  They say “but I need to know now”.  Then my reply is …… no ………  I have found in these instances that usually the person has gotten themselves in a bind and are asking you to bale them out.  There may be times that I will help someone in this instance, but generally speaking, I’m not going to take time away from my family to bale someone out who has gotten themselves in a jam and want me to own their problem rather than themselves.

 

     If it is something of great importance to you when possible, do it yourself, that way you know it gets done.  But when you have to rely on someone else, follow-up and realize you are placing this most important of tasks that is of utmost importance to you, in someone else’s hands, and it is not that important to them.  FOLLOW-UP.

 

Noone will care about your personal business, your life, your choices as much as you do.  That is why it is up to you to take care of yourself.  Rely on others....but, rely mostly on yourself.

 

ILY Snicklebritches....AOYLDC,

 

Blessings,

Ladder

As Only Your Mama Can..                                     

               January 11, 2014

 

Life Lesson Number 3:  Marry Up

I know you have heard the expression many times that you should “marry up”.  And, of course, this is typically in reference to marrying better…richer…more beautiful…more lovely…stronger…more composed, educated, etc. etc. etc.

And, there is nothing wrong with any of that….on its face.

But, my prayer for you, my wish for you, my hope for you….my mother’s spirit’s soul’s desire for you is to marry

UP….

As in….UP…the one true up

As in….Christian mate from a Christian home with Christian siblings and Christian relatives and Christian friends, fully covered and blanketed with faithfulness

As in UP comes first, and you come second, your children come third and your families come fourth and your friends come fifth….I think you get the picture.

Marry a man whose every breathing moment is spent looking UP, living UP, striving UP…

Don’t be afraid to marry an imperfect man who willingly acknowledges that he is not perfect, that his family is not perfect, that his friends are not perfect….

Don’t be afraid to marry a man who struggles with sin, who falters and falls, who stumbles and crashes…

Don’t be afraid to marry a man who would rather live in true gut truth with you and hurt your feelings rather than pretty lies which make nice

Don’t be afraid to marry a man who does not have 100% confidence in all he does

Don’t be afraid to marry a man who is not afraid to try new things and fail; to take new paths and get lost….

None of these things make a man bad…..when that man tries his heart’s best to live UP

None of these things are fatal…when that man gives his all to looking UP

None of these things are insurmountable…when that man knows that He lives for the UP which can move mountains, part seas and place babies in mangers who later save humanity

Marriage is not perfect any more than the man you marry will be perfect.

Learn that now.  Commit that to your heart.

Marriage is not guaranteed as God does not call all to the union with another.

Believe that now.

Marriage is not the answer to loneliness, wealth, comfort and companionship.

It is not the panacea for a person nor is it the death of a person

If your mate looks and lives UP

And, more importantly, if you look and live UP

You cannot expect to marry a man who lives for UP if you do not

You cannot hope to marry a man who carries in his heart a selflessness if you do not

You cannot expect to marry a man who is strong in the Lord if you are not

Or, at least you cannot do this very well..

Hard it is to be ‘unequally yoked” meaning that you are not working together as you move forward in your married life….so critical, so vital it is to be real and authentic and committed to how you are going to live as a married couple

And, for WHOM you are going to live….

And, as much as I pray that God makes sure you connect and become one with THE one He knit especially for you…(and, trust me….He does this)

I pray moreso that YOU are the One God calls you to be so that when your mate meets you, He will know you are his one…

Marriage is a commitment to holiness….not happiness

If you do not understand what this means, then you are not yet ready to marry

And, I pray you do not marry, until you understand what that means….

I pray you wait until you understand what it means to make first, a covenant with God

And, then second, with your husband

I pray you forestall the marriage you want until you understand that love is something you build upon, forgiveness is something you learn to do, and persevereing is a commitment you make for a life time

I have such prayerful hopes for you regarding marriage….

I have been praying for God to send you a mate since your birth and even before

I have been praying for your mate, that you will grow into the Godly woman you need to become

And, all these years…..I have prayed that you look UP

And, in the looking, find a man who is looking UP

And, in your looking….fine one another and some 50 years later….or 60….0r 70…..

You are able to hear Him say,

“well done….my good and faithful servants”

Humbly, oh so very humbly, I share these words from my heart…..I know you understand

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Only Your Mama Can….                                                                                               January 5, 201

Life Lesson Number 2:  Live Your Life With The End In Mind

I have journals boxed up and in our attic from the time I was eight years old until now.  That is 43 years’ worth of journals.  The first one was a small pastel yellow book with a key given to me by my Grandmother Frances who told me to write in it often.  I wrote in it…silly nonsense…and often… considering I was eight.  And, I continued to write over the years in somewhat sporadic fashion until 1981.  It was during this year that I became a committed journaler.  In fact, it was this year that I not only became committed….but journaling became a part of who I was and who I was to become…..and ever since 1981, I have given a piece of my life over to the putting on paper in ink the parts of my life I wanted to keepsake forever.  The funny thing is, while I can see in my writings over the years a maturity and deepening of person-hood, my core values remain basically the same.

I am now a stronger more focused version of who I was then.

I knew early on the goals for my life…and, I wrote them down and not-surprisingly, little about them has changed these past years….

While I have not been perfectly perfect in my achieving all of my self-set goals, and while pieces and parts of them are worthy of minor modifications, the root of those goals I wrote down in January of 1981 remain the core of my goals in 2014.

What I didn’t know then, but see clearly now is that my early writing was my way of reminding myself of what I wanted for not only that current moment of my life, but what I wanted for the end of my life…and, it began with being a Christian….having a Christian husband and a Christian home.

I dreamed of that as early as eight and knew of it’s important as early as nineteen as is evidenced by my writing it down….in that sacred place where I kept record of my dreams and aspirations….my journal.

Having said all of this, my prayer for you is to live your life with your end in mind.  You can live one day at a time with no goals and future perspective….and, in fact, we are called to live each day as it comes, but I believe it is important to live for today but to envision your tomorrow.

If your ultimate goal is heaven…..you have to walk that direction or you will not get there.

If your goal is to have……

a Christian husband,

a Christian home

an education

health

love

respect

to be a likeable person

to have many friends….. 

Then it is required to…..

To be yourself a Godly, Christian woman

Date and marry a Christian man

Build and maintain a Christian home

Work and obtain an education

Strive daily to be healthy

Be committed to loving yourself and others

 

Life a life of self-respect and respect of others 

You cannot get to that end unless you walk that direction….on purpose. 

So, as you head toward your twenty-fourth year of life, I want to encourage you….. 

Make time….take time…use your time to give over your life in prayer to God and ask for His direction…. 

And, upon receiving His reply for the goals and the purpose of your life…. 

Write Them Down….and keep them close to remind you of where you are going…. 

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”  Dolly Pardon 

When we do not focus on our end goal, it is easy to be caught up in the chaos of life which most certainly will come your way. 

There is stress in that chaos which will bind you and trap you and even kill your soul if you will let it….

Don’t let it….

Be purposeful….

Be focused…. 

Give over every single day to becoming who God intended for you to be….for, you can have full assurance that you are here at this time during this season because He has a purpose for you and for your life…. 

^{Psalm 139}

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
 Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
 How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
 They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
 I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

 

Live Your Life With Your End In Mind, Sweet Daughter….

Blessings,

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Only Your Mama Can….                                        January 1, 2014

 It’s  New Year….A New Day Dawning….

Sis, for this year’s blog, you have requested I share with you 52 weeks of “Life Lessons” which I have learned in hopes that you might learn from them as well.  And, thus, I will change my original plans (or add them in as well) and do as you have requested.  It is a humbling request you make of me….but, share with you I will.  Just remember, these words are simply my personal perspective.  That does not guarantee their rightness or their worthiness, merely their mama-ness.

I love you.  As only your Mama Can.  ILYAOYMC.  Always have.  Always will.

Life Lesson Number 1:  Finish Strong

Easy it is to start things.  The excitement of a New Year, a new baptism, a new marriage, a new house, a new baby, a new way of getting healthy….I have experienced these and many other firsts and with each one came an unbelievable and almost other-worldly joy to my heart, my soul, my life.  And, I think I started each of these experiences very strongly and very well.

I love the beginnings of most things….I really do. 

I typically start things with great vision and great heart.  I am actually quite good at starting things.

But, where I struggle (and, in this I am not alone) is finishing what I start.  The reasons for this are varied….days in the year pass by in boring repetition, I lose heart in trying to live a Godly life because it is HARD and I fail, I end a marriage because I did not know how else to address my serious marital issues, I forget the miracle of 112 Gatewood and how it really is a gift from God that we live here.  I promise God to keep Him in the center only to fail in that over and over and over.  I start out a year promising to be a healthier individual only to give up after a few weeks because I do not have the ability to…

Finish strong.

Madison…..read these words and heed them now….

Learn to finish strong.

And, let me be clear.  That does not mean you will finish perfectly.  Nor does it will mean you will be perfect as you finish. 

That is where I get tripped up…..I have long held the notion that I am unworthy unless I am perfect.  Some of that comes from my upbringing, some from others’ expectations of me, but most of it comes from me…myself…I

I am to blame for this perception.  And, I am the only one who can change my perception.

Thus, I do. I have. I will.  It is a process.

And, I am succeeding.

Because, at the end of the day…and, frankly, at the beginning of the day, there is no perfection to be found in me.

Or, in you.

Only in HIM

I read something from Uncle Bruce right before Facebook fasting started which he forwarded from a friend.

“Retweeted Tim Keller Wisdom (@DailyKeller):

"The determining factor in your relationship to God is not your past but Christ’s past; not your record, but Christ’s record." 

Baby, this is powerful.  Read it again.

When you realize that the whole purpose of our existence is to give glory to God and to bring others to Him….

When you realize that nothing you can do is ever perfect enough, good enough, Godly enough…

When you understand that that is “okay”….because….

At the END of your day….your year….your life….

Jesus stands in front of you, beside you and behind you, making pristine your life because when God looks at you….

He sees you through HIM…..

Jesus

And, in the so-doing…..and only in the so-doing, you become perfect.

Knowing this is freeing….because you can remove perfection from your life’s expectations….and simply do your very best to…

Finish Strong…

Doing your current best, living your current best, loving your current best…and continually striving and growing and leaning on Him…

Walk Daughter….walk His direction….and do your best to…

Finish Strong.

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poppy’s Gift…..

To your brothers from your Poppy……a gift of love and legacy

No words needed……

December 25, 2013

 

 "Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,  so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."

I Thessalonians 4:10-11