My sons turn seventeen next week.
And, conversations are turning more and more into, “what are you going to do when you grow up?”Mostly, what I hear is “I don’t know. I can’t think about that today. How do I figure out that?” “I’m thinking about it”, “I have a few ideas”…..
One future career which keeps coming to the forefront of our conversations is joining the military. As in Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines.
My first response was, “some of the finest people I know are in the military.” Because that is true.
In every case.
But, those men/women are not my sons.
I think of my Daddy, my children’s Papaw James, my husband’s Daddy Herschel, our friend Brent, The McIntyre Brothers, Dave York, Kermit and Kevin McKelvey, Chip Jaenichen, and the list goes on and on…I think of Sara Guth, Emily Logsdon, Erwin Roberts, Shane Shablotsky, Chris Stivers, Melanie Deal’s husband (a/k/a Mr. Darcy), Josh Fogle, Kevin Anderson, Ed Valentine…..
Are my sons made of the same cloth? Have I, as a mother, raised boys who could turn into men like these who have gone on before them?
And, what exactly do those men/women of service have that makes them military strong?
I imagine a room filled with soldiers whom I know and love…and, this is what I envision:
Honor, Integrity, Truth, Bravery, Work ethic, Tenacity, Vision, Strength.
I see determination and intelligence. Compassion, health and discipline…..lots and lots of discipline.
My Daddy, a one-tour Vietnam Vet is my image of a worthy soldier. He’s strong of character, fastly disciplined, securely able, fit, intelligent, and quick. Daddy is honorable, noble and strong. He can do anything, anywhere, anytime and he will. Daddy is no-non-sense, get it done, do it now. Daddy has first hand witnessed what battling for our country means and has laid his life on the line for all generations. A US flag means something to my Daddy….and, if you are around him, you need to stand straight and cross your hand over your heart in Thanksgiving for the men/women who served, and be silent while the US Anthem is played. He knows the cost.
I think this applies to many of the soldiers I know.
So, as my sons’ conversations grow toward Military participation, I pause….
Do they have what it takes? Am I exposing them to the qualities and characteristics they would need to be a soldier in the US Army, Marines, Air Force, Navy?
And, if I am not, shouldn’t I be?
And, even if they never ever enter the military service, shouldn’t I be preparing them as if they were?
And, if I believe I should, then shouldn’t I possess those same qualities so I can teach them to my sons? My daughter?
And, do I even know what are those requisites?
So, I did as all good modern-day mothers do…I Googled
“Characteristics of Military Personnel”
1. Courage
2. Selflessness
3. Good Planner
4. Quick thinker
5. People Skills
6. Cool Temperament
7. Lead by Example
8. Will
9. Determination
10. Discipline
11. Intelligence
12. Interested in the world around them
13. Dedication
14. Honor
15. Communication
16. Respect
17. Committed
18. Noble
19. Confident
20. Ability to take direction
And, then, as my sons’ lay nestled in their beds, sleeping peacefully and snoring lightly, I took this measuring stick and measured them…
Do they possess these qualities? Do they possess the potential for these qualities?
Do they have the kind of heart which would want to possess these qualities?
And, it was a sobering moment….
Because, while laying their character out against the ruler, I could not get past my own…do I possess these qualities? Do I possess the potential for these qualities? Do I have the kind of heart which would want to possess these qualities?
For, if I, their mother, do not, then how in this great, wide world, do I expect my sons to possess them? CAN they possess them if I do not? If the other individuals who surround them do not?
I pause to think of some of my toughest battles, and how I handled them….did I handle them with the precision, grace and dignity which befits a soldier? Did I pursue avenues of peace, compassion and preservation of the greater good? If the measuring stick of solder-ship was laid against my character, would I measure up?
And, if not….what can I do to change that?
It is a good question.
It is an answer-able question.
Others before me have done it. Others around me do it.
I can as well. And, so can you.
And, the men and women of uniform……their only true difference between them and us is that they already have done it. They figured it out. They set their path straight. They committed their bodies, minds and hearts.
They made a choice.
They fight and battle and serve for us, regardless of whether or not we ever figure out what they already have…
That service of our country, service for our family, service for our man…
It is the greatest, most rewarding, most brave and noble thing we can do.
It is not a perfect world the military have. In fact, some would share facts that it is all about sacrificing…real, true, gut wrenching sacrificing…
But, at the end of the day…at the end of the battle…at the end of the war…
At the end of their life…
When friends and family gather around to hear the twenty-one gun salute, when the Red, White and Blue is laid draped over their frame…
They will have peace.
Because when the ruler of life is laid against their character, they will have measured up……
They will have measured up bravely, nobly, honorably….
Their lives are ones which make us want to live our own better.
And, in their honor…we can.
We should.
And, it starts…today….
By remembering…..by laying flowers by the graves of those who have gone on before us, by holding fast our hand over our heart when we hear the anthem, by serving the families of the men/women who serve us, by being the best “us” we can be…
Taking out the list of “Characteristics of the Military” and using them as a guide for our own lives.
And, by never…ever…..ever…..forgetting the price of our freedom comes with it great cost, by men/and women with great heart who serve our country with great heart.
Blessings on your Memorial Day…
As my Daddy says to all….”Go Forth and Do Good”…….
Lesa
