Sometimes, Your Children Lay Their Character Out For You To See….

 As a mother, I watch for things….about my children...For signs that they are growing Godly character… 

And, generally, I am not disappointed.   

It was easy to see evidence of God working in their lives when they were young and I had total control over their lives.  They were blanketed in all things Godly as best I could cover them….church was their family, neighbors were their 3^rd set of grandparents and friends were of the best kind. 

Harder it is since they have gotten older to have such an intimate influence because they are less in my presence and more in the presence of their friends.  Friends I don’t really get to choose or have much say about. 

I miss those young years when they had wonderful Godly teachers like Ms. Jana Callahan, where Veggie Tales was the main staple of their movie life and singing Bible Men 2 songs at a “Solid Rock Café” was the highlight of our days. 

I confess that at times, their behavior and decision making has grayed the hair on my head and stressed the beat of my heart.  At times, I have had a concerned “mother’s gut” and a worried mother’s spirit.

But, that happens less and less…. 

They are good kids…not because they are perfectly good, but because they have good hearts….His Heart 

I not only say this about them…I claim it! 

Because I have learned something important to all mothers… 

What I say, how I think, what I believe about my child makes all the difference.   

They way I view my babies will forever frame how they view themselves… 

I have never been a Mama who believed her children never did wrong…in fact, I was more likely to believe they could do wrong but prayed they didn’t.

 

As they are growing into adulthood, it becomes more and more clear to me that they are still very influenced by how I view them, how I treat them, how I support them….How I consider them as people.

They ask me, “Mama…do you think I am a good person?”  “Mama, do you think I can do this?” They say to me (often)….”Mama, listen to me….this is what I think…am I thinking right?” 

I have three very different children, but on any given day, one of them will seek out my thoughts about them…their behavior…their character….their decisions…how I view them, how their Ladder Dad views them…Every time they search out my thoughts, I am taken aback…..that they seem to care what I think. 

It’s humbling.

It’s moving.

It’s a responsibility I take very seriously. 

It melts my heart….and, I strive to give them my attention and focus in these little moments because I believe they really need my truth…my thoughts….and, that those thoughts I share should be based on HIS thoughts…HIS truths for it is in Him that they will see their real self reflected.   

These little mirror- moments when your child comes to you in hope they will see themselves reflected in your heart, your soul in a good and positive way. 

The responsibility on me in that moment to be the eyes of God reflecting back to my children is spirit-moving. 

Recently, and this is a smallish thing, but it matters….we have been working on teaching them to manage their finances.  God gives us much and expects us to do much with what He gives us.  God expects us to repay what we owe.  He expects us to take care of what we have.  He wants us to be good stewards….so, we have been working on this issue. 

 

  Madison pays off her car loan 

 Kenton buys new tires

 

 

                                                             Johnson repays Mama at the gym....then works out with her! 

 

As a result, Madison paid off her auto loan 17 months early, Kenton put new tires on his Jeep in response to our requirement prior to his buying his car and Johnson repaid a loan he took out last month. 

I am proud of them.  Not just because they are learning to manage their money, but also because they are learning to keep their word.   

If I borrow….I promise to pay…..and, pay timely. 

I love how excited each of them were to pay off their debts…..they each expressed relief to be out of debt, excitement to have accomplished such a feat and pride that they had honored their word!! 

Yes, maybe this is a smallish thing to the world, but it is a largish thing to the spirits of my children… 

There are other experiences which they are having which are growing their character….with each one, I am blessed to have a front row seat to their maturation…to the development of their character and their heart. 

And, I am grateful….to a God who has so blessed me with such precious children…children who while not perfect, are striving to grow in Him…. 

Children whom, at times, lay their character out for me to see… 

And, what I see is good. 

Blessings, 

Lesa

 

 

 

 

 

The Road Not Taken....A Sacred Journey

 

 

One of my favorite Poems is by Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken”.  I’m not sure exactly when I grew to love it, but I was very young.  This was the first poem/writing which I remember provoking me to think…. 

 

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

There are many interpretations for this poem…and, that is a good thing because that is what writing poetry is all about…provoking thought of a reader. 

That is what I hope to do with my new blog “page” ….provoke thought.  Provoke MY thought.  And, if in some way, my humble writing provokes your thought, then that is good tooJ 

The name for my blog page “Sacred Journey” came to me quickly.  I had not thought when I deactivated my Facebook page that I would be impacting access to my blog.  And, frankly, even if I had thought of it, I would never have thought anyone would really care that they no longer had access.  But, as God is ‘oft to do, He surprised me.  I had many individuals contact me to ask that I not shut down my blog….humbling to say the least.   

And so, I set out to figure out the best and simplest way to do that, thus….my new Facebook page, Sacred Journey. 

As I head into the final half (God willing, I will make it to my goal of 100 years), of my life, I view things with a much more intimate and personal vision.  I now understand that all of life is as Ann Voscamp’s blog indicates, “A Holy Experience”.  That’s not to say that everything in our lives “feels” holy….surely my friend Katie’s potty training experience, my friend Nancy’s falling accident, and divorce is not holy in the sacred sense…. 

But, is it? 

Do we become holy within the things we go through and in how we respond to them, ultimately? 

I think so.   

I love the kid’s Bible definition of HOLY:  “Holiness means that God is scrubbed up and clean in every way” 

Holiness seems too heady for children to understand, but it's not.Simply put, God's Holiness means that He's Perfect and Clean in every way.Kids can trust that God is Perfectly Loving, Perfectly Truthful and Perfectly Faithful.Exploring Holiness cultivates an unshakable trust and transparency with a God who is Perfectly Dependable.Teaching your children that God is Holy -- that He's Perfect and Clean, will give them a stable foundation for an unshakable faith.

http://www.dg4kids.com/attribute/god-is-holy/ 

For, if we can teach our children, and ourselves, that God is Holy…Perfect….Clean in every way…that he is perfectly loving, perfectly truthful, perfectly faithful…. 

It’s not only his perfection which is important (because we know we can never be perfect on our own), but it is the knowledge that by being a part of Him, we are made perfect IN Him…

Holy….Sacred

 

For me, I find in that, great comfort. 

That because my God is Holy, He makes us Holy in Him. 

Pure, perfect….HIS 

So that, as we travel through life, we don’t have to worry about being perfect on our own.  We don’t have to really worry about which path we take, we have to worry who we take with us on the journey…

Thus, it becomes a “Sacred Journey”              ….with HIM 

Sacred has many definitions, but the ones which touch me intimately are “devoted, dedicated and revered”.   

 I can do those things….

I can devote myself to worship, to family, to service

I can dedicate myself to being a good wife, mom, daughter

I can revere those things God gives me in life:  safe home, good job, faithful friends 

I can do those things on a daily basis and I can do them with a heart for Him which grows a heart of holiness in me. 

Then, even the smallest, most minute thing we do matters…

 

It will matter that I apologize after blowing up at my kids after a bad day, it will matter that I make right a disagreement with a co-worker, it will matter that I take time to send a note to a sick friend, it will matter that I actually DO pray for someone I commit to pray for… 

It will matter…those little things and those big things, those public things and those private things… 

And, taking HIM with us on our journey will “make all the difference”…… 

I love this analysis of Robert Frost’s poem, because I think it rings true…. 

There are times in life when we have to make choices and we can never
go back to that time and change our choice.

So we make the best choice - and then make the best of that choice 

I love that last sentence… 

“So we make the best choice (as we see it at that time) and then make the BEST of that choice.” 

And, ultimately, that is all we CAN do… 

Even as a young girl, I always took that last passage in the poem to mean that by taking the one less traveled by I was taking the path God was on…. 

I took to heart Matthew 7:14 “But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

That’s the path I wanted to take.

That’s the path I want to take. 

That is the path which leads to the SACRED JOURNEY of life. 

Blessings,

Lesa

 

If It’s Monday, It’s Mama 

Respite at the Lakehouse…..

It is of great comfort to me that you are enjoying Fall Break with someone who loves you very much at a place which is very lovely and that the two of you are having a very wonderful time together.  What a wonderful gift to both of you….I pray your time together is one you will treasure forever….. 

A Call to A New Season….

It occurred to me last Saturday evening that I have spent a lot of time writing these past three years of our family’s struggles, sorrows….journaling our “walk” back to a healthier, happier family.  I have laid bare my mistakes, my poor decisions and frankly, my sins….it is what God laid on my heart to write and so I did.  I also addressed the opinions of others in my writings…of me, defending and sorting and explaining.   

 

I want to change the direction of my writing and so, will start with your weekly letter. 

A dear relative of mine told me recently, “Lesa, get out of the way of God.”  “Let God handle all aspects of your life and just set about to do His work as best as you can with the clarity He is giving you.”  “God has worked out all your matters already, He’s just waiting on you to give it over to Him.”

She is correct. 

The moment I give my life and all of it’s little details….is the moment God will pick them up and work them out for His good and His glory. 

Ian shared something with me this past week in an effort to positively help me guard my words…I want to share it with you in hopes it will help you as well:

“From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance”   ~unknown author 

The greatest hurts in my life have begun around things spoken to me or about me.  I believe the greatest pain I have caused others has been things said by me.  This includes written things.   

Make positive changes to NOT do that! 

So, I am making changes to my life which I hope will assist me in NOT doing this and in NOT receiving this.  I pray you consider doing this as well…Ian is joining me… 

We are removing facebook for a season, if not forever.  It is a wonderful tool to keep in touch with loved ones and friends, but it consumes the soul and can be used as a tool to hurt, whether intentionally or not.  I challenge you….consider a season of no facebook or at least consider going through your page and removing people who put out things on there which you know to be unHoly….unGodly.  In fact, I encourage you to ONLY have friends who ARE Godly and who are striving to be good users of the page. 

We are seeking to speak less and do more.  Your Uncle Jim Millstead often quotes the passage as one of his favorite..

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you,”  I Thessalonians 4:11 

I encourage you to sit at the knee of your Uncle Jim and others who live by this creed.  I encourage you to strive to be more like this yourself and we will join you in your striving. 

We are seeking to be more in the Word and less in the TV, movies, music, etc.  There is not necessarily anything wrong with TV, movies, etc. but if you spend more time on those things than you do in the Word, then that is a problem.  Let’s change that! 

We are seeking to be more physically fit.  The healthier physically you are, the more likely you will be fit in other areas of your life because you will have more energy and focus to do so. 

We are seeking to be with those who live a positive and Godly life both inside and outside of the church.  Chose those you spend your time with wisely for they will impart their views on you can you cannot help but be changed. 

We are seeking to search for the good in others.  Easy it is to find fault, criticize, or disparage people.  We are all guilty of this.  Let’s not do that.  Let’s assume good…if we want God to see good in us, shouldn’t we assume good in others? 

We are seeking to forgive and to let go.  At some point in everyone’s life, you will be required to seek forgiveness and to give forgiveness.  Let’s be proactive.  It may not be received, but if you have at least sought it, that is all you can do. You can always chose to forgive.  Forgive.

We are seeking to simply love and love simply.  If you wait to love someone only when they become loveable, then you may never find success.  Love regardless.  Love in spite of.  Love in sincerity.  That does not mean you tolerate bad behavior.  In fact, you do not.  But, you are called as a child of God to love. 

It is the Greatest Command. 

I think you and Ian may talk about some of these things as you spend Ladder/Daughter time together….this is just a start for our family.  But, we are committed…. 

Join us? 

We love you, 

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Finally “Get It”…..Training is for Life
 

 I am fifty years old…Fifty…50….an age where I used to think that by now, I would have ‘it”….Life….all figured out.  But, I am daily realizing that I will never have it all figured out.  

Because I will forever be in training… 

I am in training and will be in training all of my life.  Whether it be training to get physically fit, to become a better mother, daughter, sibling or employer. 

The training of myself never ends, until I end. 

Not only do I realize that my training days will never end, I also am realizing that training is lots of work and that I don’t look particularly good while doing it. 

On September 18, 2012, I committed to getting my body back into as physically good shape as I can.  Since that time, I have worked with a trainer to bring to life muscles which had atrophied these past years….it has NOT been easy.  At first, I could barely get through the 30 minutes of workout needing an additional 30 minutes just to “recover” after each session.  At first, I gained weight rather than lose it (WRONG direction I told Chad, my trainer, who assured me it would come down).  At first, I struggled on weighing, measuring and lower my food intake and drinking more and more and more water.  Chad told me it is a decision….do you want to “become” different or do you want to stay the same so that in a year from now, nothing has changed? Change requires training my “old” ways to leave and teaching my new ways to come into the forefront! 

I have been doing that.  I am successful in some areas….not so much in others.  I am faithful to train with Chad, probably because I pay him and really want to do well at each session.  I am struggling with the weighing/measuring/monitoring of what I eat. 

And, that’s okay…. 

I am in “Training”…… 

My daddy told me yesterday as we were discussing some life issues, “Sis…your Mama and I have figured out that if we want to be a certain way in our life…Godly, healthy, financially stable, serving of others…etc….that we have to work at it…we have to “train” to be that way…”

 

“every day…every day…every day”  

That is why my parents read their Bibles daily ( to train to be closer to God and more Godly in their lives). 

That is why my parents walk over 100,000 steps (yes, this is the truth) a week…(to train to be physically fit). 

That is why my parents attend church every time the door is open and why they host home church in their homes (to train to be Godly servants). 

“Sis…if you want to become something, you have to train yourself to become that, it won’t just happen”.   

And, you must do it….Every day. 

I believe my Daddy…I believe my Mother...for they live lives of "training"....in all ways.  A Godly example for me..my siblings...others to see.  Every day.  Every day.  Every day. 

Training….training…training. 

Will we always look beautiful to others while we train?  No.

Will we always have perfect form in our movements as we train? No

Will we always have the perfect work out? No 

But, what we will have change….one small step at a time…to a better us.  A better me… 

I think of my training as a season of transformation.  I told Chad I want “Whole-heart/body” training…… 

I want to grow in all ways…. 

Stronger relationship with God…..study Him

Closer relationship with my family….love them

Deeper friendships with friends…spend time with them

More physically fit body….exercise 

Regardless of what I want to grow stronger in….if I truly want to change in that direction, I have to “train”…. 

And, training is not easy…in fact, it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do because to train whole-heartedly, I have had to look at my whole life… 

How did I get here?  How did I get this “unfit”?  Not pretty! 

How do I leave here?  How do I change for better?  Not easy! 

But, I can do this training…. 

It is a choice. 

While I know I have a long way to go and many things to keep working on…while I know I will struggle and sweat and won’t look pretty doing it.. 

I really do want to grow and be and become better in all ways….. 

Better in His ways 

And so, I will look to the rest of my life as that of a student who is in training…. 

Training…and training and training…. 

Every day….every day….every day! 

Blessings,

 

Lesa