As Only Your Mama Can…..

May 31, 2014

The Making of a Son……

Only God can knit a son in the womb of a mother. 

And, only God can decide and bring to being the knitting of two sons….but, to the mother who is given the opportunity to be used as such a vessel, there comes blessings…His blessings.

Long before I received the call that you boys were on your way, God whispered into my heart your journey's beginning…so, while receiving the news was a wonderful gift, it was no surprise to this Mama's heart.  Rather, it was confirmation that the stirrings in my soul during my quiet moments with Him were based on truth.

His truth.

For the first five months of my pregnancy with you, I walked….and talked with God.  I made sincere, but perhaps naïve promises to Him that if he would get you boys here safely (and, I always felt you to be boys), that I would do my very best to raise you in Him.   

So, I walked and promised and I prayed and promised and I sang to you and promised….Lord, get them here safely and I will hold them close to you until they can stand beside you alone.

I now understand that all the promises in the world, even those of a mother, are just that….promises.  While well intended, promises are hard to keep and even harder to try to keep.

What I learned by being your mother is that the best I can do is pray….and, love.  And, faithfully give you over to God every day, every day……every day.

Because, Kenton and Johnson, my beloved boys…..what God has taught me these past nineteen years is that you are not my sons, but His.  You are on loan to me for but a short time to love and grow and nurture in Him.  Nothing I can personally do will make you a great man and thankfully, nothing I can do can keep you from being who God intended.

Thank God.

It is the Grace of a loving Heavenly Father who whispers these truths to the heart of your mother because, you see….have seen….and will see…. that your earthly mother is perfectly imperfect.  And, that is okay.

God does not call for perfection from Mothers.  He calls for love….

And, that I can do.

That, I have done.

That, I will continue to do all the days of your lives.

If all I give you, all I leave you as my legacy, is the knowledge that your Mama loves you with all of her heart, all of the time, in all ways, for all of your days….

Then, I will have accomplished the mission God gave me when He gave me you…

I strive to be a humble Mama….never counting my word as "gospel"…….but, of this I am absolutely, perfectly, totally confident,

I love you

I love you both, each, all

I love you as only your Mama can

I love you with the heart God gave me some 19 plus years ago when he knit you in my womb

I love you today

I loved you yesterday

And, I will love you all the tomorrows to come

I will stand in front of, beside and behind you both literally with my physical body and figuratively with my Mama's soul

Being your mother has been one of the greatest gifts of my life both here on earth and for eternity's purpose…..and, I thank God often that of all the mothers in all of the world through all of the ages, for some reason, he chose me….

To be your mother….

Total proof of His great love for me……

My genuine prayer for you is that you grow close to God for the balance of your days…each in your own way….

For only God can knit a son and only God can grow a son into the man He intended. 

What I can do is love you….

And, I do.

"more than all of the stars in all of the skies in all of the world" I love you, Kenton

"more than all of the blades of grass in all of the fields in all of the world" I love you, Johnson

Happy 19th Birthday!

ILYAOYMC,

Mama