If...a child lives with acceptance and friendship, she learns to find love in the world

In every home I have lived in since my daughter, Madison’s birth, I have had this cross-stitched verse located in a prominent place. It was lovingly made by my sister, Frankie, who is a master cross-stitcher.   I have no clue how long it took to stitch each tiny little word…no clue the level of difficulty this particular piece earns (appears very complicated to me).

I see many things when I look at this picture, full of words…full of characters…

First, I envision my sister sitting in her chair, bag of cross-stitch goodies lying next to her lap, strings of green, blue and pink lying ready to be threaded into the needle to become its designated word, rug, book or horse.

I see my sister’s hands…experienced, quickly crossing back and forth from top to bottom…the tension held just so on each stitch so that the final picture will be perfect.

I wonder if she knew when she picked this particular piece how frequently it would be read…daily at times…by me…

Did she choose this because she knew what she stitched would be the lessons I would need to learn as a parent?   

Did she stitch it because she knew the words to be true…had her own life been filled with the lessons of these words?

I never asked her.

She never volunteered her reason.

But, I can tell you….what she stitched so gently and painstakingly for my first born has been read if not daily, almost daily (with the exception for a small season)…what she took the time to put together and frame has had a great impact on me and my family.

At first, the framed gift of love was hung in my daughter’s nursery…then, when my boys came along, it was hung in their room.  I read it silently and at times I read it out loud…to myself, to my children…and even on an occasion or two, to a friend.

For a small season, when we moved to the town we now live in, it was put into storage.

I regret that.

I had meant to dig it out and re-hang it in a place of honor, but life and time got away from me.

I regret that as well.

In 2008, I was diagnosed with breast cancer….

Cancer took me to the deepest waters of my soul…it caused me to take a sincere look at those things which caused me to struggle….

It forced me to look into the mirror at the woman I was..

And, the woman I was not.

And, for some reason, it dawned on me that our precious “IF” cross-stitched poem was missing…I went through our whole house looking for this icon of truth which had guided our family for many years until I found it…

It was wrapped lovingly, but dust had found it anyway…leaving its dirty reminder that when something is stored, it cannot be used…and it begins to decay..

I spent a whole weekend cleaning it…the glass, the frame, the back…until it became itself again…ready to be hung…

In its place of honor.

I smile…

At times I laugh…because where I have hung it may not seem very honorable to you, but to me….it is in a place I go to many times a day…I see it first thing in the morning, several times during the afternoon and last thing before I go to sleep at night.

I have read it standing up….I have read it “sitting down”.

Where I used to place books to read while in this room, I removed all books and placed this wise friend.

Where it used to have many neighbors hung beside it, it now stands alone on the wall…its place of honor secure..

I love these words my sister wisely knew to put into my life.

I read them daily because I KNOW them to be true.

Thank you, Frankie….for a gift which has blessed me for over 21 years….

Blessings,

Lesa

Children Learn What They LiveBy Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte