Special Edition by request, “If It’s Monday…..on Thursday”.

 

The gift of motherhood is one I do not take for granted.  Since I was young, I very much wanted to be not only a mama, but a wonderful, Godly mama.  In my journal from the 1980s, being a Godly mother was the third goal of mine, the first being a Godly woman and the second being a Godly wife.  I was eighteen when I wrote that list. I would not change a thing about it, even after all of these 50 years.  I think you and I both know that I have failed at times in this endeavor, but God does not expect the perfection that we humans expect from one another.  He desires a seeking, striving heart fully given over to Him.  I can promise you, Madison, your Mama has a seeking, striving heart.

Fortunately, I had an extremely Godly mother to raise me.  I always knew she was not perfect, but she was disciplined of heart, soul and mind.  That discipline was/is a direct result of placing God in the center of her woman-hood, wife-hood, mother-hood, sister-hood and all of the other “hoods” a woman wears in her life.  She also challenged me to do the same…. 

I, in return, challenge you to do the same. 

Ian told you in a letter to you awhile back, “don’t follow your Mama or me” because we are human and will fail.  We have told you not to follow friends, relatives, and even the church because all are human and they may fail you when you need them the most.  They are there to nurture, encourage and even reprove you at times, but ultimately the path to Christ is one only God can lead you to and through. 

That is what I pray for you….a direct path to God through Christ. 

But, that means I have to let you go… 

To Him. 

If I grow you up and you do not have a foundation based on Him, then I truly believe I will have failed in my “Mama-mission” to which God called me.  I don’t want to do that. 

I want, when you lay my head down to rest that final time, to know you are ready…you are prepared… 

You are His 

I pray your life is filled with a bouquet of family, friends, co-workers and fellow saints, but I pray that bouquet confidently stands in the vase of Christ…your ultimate foundation. 

This won’t happen unless you do that on purpose… 

With purpose 

For His purpose. 

It is my mother’s job, to try to help you build a strong foundation so that when I am no longer here, it is okay….you won’t need me….you will have HIM. 

I learned this lesson in a very powerful way…..and, it has grown in my heart all these years… 

We had a very sweet family member on your dad’s side whom I absolutely loved.  Sherry was real and authentic and kind.  In her, I found a real friend, one whom I grew to love and respect and admire.  Sherry had excellent work ethic and great tenacity.  She was practical and yet, she had one of the most ferocious (in a GOOD way) hearts I knew.  She was sensitive to the underdog, the weaker person, the struggling heart.  She had high expectation and expected you to as well.  She had strong opinions and most definitely would share them with you, but then, she would turn around and encourage you to express yours.  She was a true friend.

She and I both had daughters around the same age (you and Cousin Logan).  I remember like it was yesterday our last conversation together.  You and Logan wanted to ride your bikes around your Mamaw and Papaw’s Cross Creek neighborhood.  We had just the week before taken off your training wheels and you were a little bit wobbly as you rode around the block following your Cousin, Logan.  Logan, of course, bounded around the circle ninety to nothing because she had experience.  You, of course, tried to follow suit.  It was such a happy moment….two mamas watching their daughters laugh, kick up their feet in the sheer joy one gets from a free spirited bike ride. 

Logan rode way out in front of us….even way past you.  The further she got, the more anxious I got. 

I asked Sherry, “don’t you think you should reign her in?  Make her come back closer to us?” “Aren’t you worried she might fall and hurt herself?” 

And, then Sherry said words which etched on my Mother’s heart even unto this  very day….

She reached over and grabbed my left hand….stopping us from walking and allowing you girls to get even further from us. 

“Lesa…If I don’t let Logan try her wings in front of me where I can help her if she falls, how will she be ready if I am not there some day to catch her?”  “It is my job as her mother to help her get ready.”

In less than two weeks, Sherry was killed in a car crash and I was attending her funeral.

Now, I don’t know if God laid that thought on Sherry’s heart or not.  I don’t know why she had just those words to say to a fearful me, but I was forever changed by what she said to me that day as we walked together. 

And, from that day forward, I have tried to be the kind of Mama who was preparing you….I have not always succeeded in that….but, it is a goal.  I think it is the goal of most Mamas.

 

And, you are making progress in that direction.  I see it daily….I hear it in your words, I see it in your school work, the way you deal with others, your job and even your worship. 

Life is a journey……you will change and grow and “become” your whole life.  You will make good decisions, bad decisions, silly decisions.  You will have great joys and deep sorrows (I pray for protection from those). 

The ONE thing you can count on is Him. 

And, if that is the only lesson from me you ever learn, then I will feel like I have succeeded in the mission God gave me when He allowed me to become your Mama. 

One thing I want you to remember….God’s plans are to prosper us, not to harm us.

Jeremiah 29:11¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This does not mean we won’t have struggles and strifes in our lives.  We will.  But, it does mean that if you are walking toward HIM, He is with you….just like Sherry and I were watching you and Logan, riding along in life and moving ahead….He will be there when you fall….to catch you…..to right you and put you back on your bike. 

Find comfort in that knowledge…

Find peace

Find JOY! 

Our reflection to the world of Christ’s love for us is a great gift we can return to him while we are living…. 

We can make is a dark and despairing one….or we can make it a bright and joyful one. 

The choice is ours 

I pray that you chose JOY!! 

And, I want you to know…..everything you go through is preparing you….for life…..for living….

 For HIM…. 

I just know when He turns to your life….He has to smile. 

So, go …..prepare yourself.  Armor up!! 

“Be strong and courageous and do not be afraid…The Lord goes with you each and ever day.” 

And, for as long as I am blessed to live….I will too. 

 

What a privilege and an Honor it is to be your Mama.....

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

If It's Monday, It's Mama----Friendships over Gifts

If It’s Monday, It’s Mama- Friendships over Gifts

 

Sweet Daughter,

I have been reflecting a lot on your personal character and you displayed something this weekend which to others may not be a big deal, but to me was huge.  You did two things: 

One, you went to a friend’s baby shower without a gift….gasp!!  Most people today would NEVER go to a baby shower or any kind of shower without a baby gift.  They would be too concerned about etiquette and less concerned about the friendship.  You went.  It made me so proud of you and I know your friend would rather you come empty handed than not at all.  And, look at all the fun you had!  The memories you made and the pictures you took are priceless!!

Two, you told your friend the truth.  You told her that you could not afford a gift for the baby at this time but you wanted to support her by attending her shower with your “person”.  How bold and how honest.

You understand at 22 what I did not learn until 48.  “Appearances” for the world’s sake are meaningless.  The world would tell you to stay home and not go be with your friend giftless.  But, you understood that the gift of your friendship is more meaningful to your friend than any monetary item you could purchase. 

I am so proud of your great heart. 

I am even more proud that you told your friend the truth.  She understood.  And, you promised her a gift when you can afford it which she knows you will deliver to her. 

In fact, you invited me to join you and I will. 

This is character of the finest kind…. 

I have to think this makes God smile…..if you can be honest about the little things and attend your friendships with such great care and compassion, then I can only imagine what wonderful things you will do with the big things.

Having said that, I do love it when we plan in advance and prepare and have things done “on time”….because the little detail of planning is also a way you can show others you care about them.  Saving to buy a gift is a Godly discipline.  In this case, this did not apply because you learned of the shower on short notice, but do keep in mind that managing your finances and your gift opportunities is a good thing to aspire to do.

I am just grateful than when there is not time to plan, you take the road of friendship over the road of propriety….

I think in this you will always be the winner!!

 

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

Life is Like a Ball of Yarn...

Life is Like a Ball of Yarn….

The more days I live, the more I begin to feel that rather than a puzzle, pieced together in perfect pattern, albeit in any possible random order, life is more an unraveling and a revealing, rather like a ball of my mother’s left-over yarn, pieced together in un-matched joining and multi-colored mating, to be unwound slowly and revealingly when knitted together in a fine mitten or scarf. 

The truth of the knitting’s color scheme won’t be known until Mama has finished her last knit, pearl, stitch….but, the more the yarn gives way to the needle’s story, the more the final piece is evident.  It is when done, you glimpse the truth of the color of her piece. 

That truth is always rock solid in the center of the yarn-ball, but in the unraveling becomes alive.   

To me, this is much the way of life.  We are little pieces of yarn, fashioned together and knitted from pieces of our family’s skein which is joined together to form the work of art of us.  Mama’s soft pink lacy cut, with Daddy’s navy worsted twist, a part Granny’s fingerling and a length of Grandpa’s bulky weight all joined together to make me.

I have this vision of God and me, sitting together around the fireplace in my kitchen.  I am sitting at the table and God is standing behind me.  We are posed over two extravagantly beautiful knitting needles…my hands up close to the milky white of the ivory needles (mine are ivory not steel) and God’s hands placed over mine in teaching expression. 

We are there to knit my life together.  God shows me how to fashion the yarn on the needles to get started.  We’ve already made our yarn ball and are ready to set the slip knot on the needle.  The slip knot is the foundational knot for the entire piece of me.  Next, we move into the cast phase, which is really the backbone for my entire life.  This cast can be as short or as long as God would choose and as I am gifted.  Once the cast is set and the length determined, then we move to our first knit stitch. 

The casting phase is critical to life because it sets the foundation for all which is to come.  That is why legacy in life is so important.  The stronger our familial heritage, the stronger our cast.  The more aligned and strong and straight our cast, the stronger the base of our whole knitted piece.  The cast is what my family gives to my life….I am the knitted stitches. 

I envision God telling me this as He quietly whispers to me to “stop” at a certain point in my cast.  I don’t want to count the actual casting because then I would know the length of my days…and, it is not that I should know, but rather that I should move to the next phase…knitting the stitches. 

There are several stitches I could choose from, but as a novice, I am directed to the knit stitch.  It is the simplest and easiest to learn….my hand moves back and forth, filling one needle while emptying another.  Quickly, the form of my life grows. 

I am a novice knitter, it is apparent from my alternatingly tight and then lose stitches, but I am assured that over time, I will grow more consistent. 

This knitting takes time.

 

It takes patience. 

Slowly, almost painstakingly, I  form one stitch at a time, feeling awkward and disjointed….I can see the yarn ball unraveling into the work on my needles and the colors start to tell a story…. 

My story 

Told with simple stitches in simple pattern with simple hands using simple needles. 

Then I hear the words, “it is time”… 

Time to learn a new stitch… 

The Purl… 

Both stitches are a part of good knitting, both have a specific purpose.  One is worked at the back of the knitting, one is worked at the front.  Both form unique patterns in a knitter’s piece of work.  When used together, the knit and the purl, that is what forms the lovely patterns of a scarf or a sweater or  

Me 

Knit stitches tend to be smooth and flat.  Purl tend to be bulkier and uplifted.  Like seasons in a person’s life. 

We knit together, God and I, in the quiet of my kitchen.  Back and forth, back and forth….and then it happens.  In what is a simple, modest pattern, a twisted piece is found.

We stop, undo the stitches back to the most recent whole stitch and then start again, error corrected. 

Back and forth, you can hear the clicking of ivory upon ivory…God’s warm hands on mine…

Knitting… 

I don’t know when His hands leave mine…but, after a time, I begin to see knotted, mangled stitches form on my work….large balls of yarn, tight stitches blend with too loose stitches and my knitting….my life is a mess. 

Where are those guiding hands?  The Master knitter’s leading gone, I had not been able to keep the pace of fine knitting. 

He asks me…what do you do now? 

I am frozen….I don’t know.  How do I repair such a mess as this?

“You know what to do….think on it.” He says. 

Slowly, painfully, I undo each ugly stitch taking my work all the way back to the most recent beautiful stitch.  It was a painful undoing…so much work lost.  So hard to start those stitches over. 

“Why did you leave me?” I ask 

“I never left you, I was here. Always by your side…but, you went on without me…never noticing my absent hands…focused on your stitching and not on my leading.”

It’s true.  I did that. 

Grateful I am as He places large, warm hands over mine, giving strength to my re-knitting….stitches back in place, needles making soft noise as we work together on the frame of my life. 

Knitting is not an art of perfection.  It is a part of the Master’s plan.  He does not call us to knit our lives perfectly.  He calls us to keep His hands on ours as we piece together the framework of our lives in the masterpiece He has designed.

My final piece will not be without the evidence of flaws….it will not be of perfect color and evenly matched stitches.  In fact, I am quite certain, it may not even be lovely in the eyes of the world. 

But, my final piece….the blanket of my life….will bear the stitches of one who has tried hard to keep the Master’s hands on hers while the knitting is done… 

And, in God’s eyes, it will be beautiful….I will be beautiful. 

At the end of the day, as my final stitch is cast and I lay my needles down, it is only his eyes which will matter. 

Blessings,

Lesa