Home is where you go to work things out...

I have two sons...twins.

There are blessings which come from being twins and there are "challenges". Yesterday, we had a challenge.

Because I really don't want to invade their privacy, I don't plan to go into detail of their challenge, but, this one was "real".

Feelings were hurt.

Apologies were sincere.

As a mother, you cannot take sides...you don't want to take sides...

And, thankfully....gratefully, I didn't have to.

At home, my boys don't really "fight" very much, but it happens more than when they were little when peer pressure and testostorone has yet to set in.

Today was one of those days.

As I listened to one son tell his side of the story, I was touched that he took responsibility for his actions...he seemed sincerely remorseful. While he did begin to excuse his behavior, he caught himself and said frankly..."no..really, it was my fault. I started it and I shouldn't have.

His brother had taken a walk to think things over and that was probably a good idea...by the time he came home, real contrition set in from his brother.

I was further touched that the son who started this event gave his brother space...he didn't immediately run up to his brother and apologize. when I asked him why he hesitated, he said, Mama, you have to give a guy his space. I want him to know when I apologize that I really mean it."

I like that.

That is wise thinking from a 15 year old boy.

This particular son had an event to attend, so off he went while the other son and I stayed home to work on a school project.

I waited expectantly to hear "his" side of the story, but he did not elaborate. In fact, I had to ask him to tell his side and he declined...he didn't "rat" out his brother. He didn't criticize, he didn't speak meanly, he just did his school work.

I started to pursue his hurt, but thought better.

I am glad I did.

I started to get the boys together once his brother came home to "work things out", but instead, decided just to pray and let them handle it.

I am glad I did.

Not feeling well, I went to bed early. The one son came home from his activity and the other son worked.

I lay in bed and waited...would they get into it again? Would they make up? Would they just let it go?

I'm not exactly sure what happened (truth: I did not eavesdrop)...and, I could not hear the words spoken, but I can tell you things were said in low, muted voices (as if they didn't want Mama to hear:). Finally, they started talking louder and laughter wafted up into my bedroom. I smiled.

I don't guess I will ever know what transpired between my sons...and, I don't need to know. What I do know is that in our "home", they were able to work things out...all by themselves, with just my prayers to cover them.

what I do know is that love for one another superceded their pain; forgiveness was granted and friendship was bonded perhaps a little more tightly....the kind which can only be forged between twin brothers.

I am blessed.

My challenge to you and me...from this day forward, I plan to stay out of the way of my children's disagreements whenever possible; I plan to try to give them space to think through their actions; I plan to pray more than I speak and I chose to rejoice when their hearts have the opportunity to grow...

Blessings,
Lesa

HOME is where you are called "Mommy"......

I have three children.  They are 20, 15 and 15...

They all have different names for me...my daughter calls me "Mother" or "Madre" , one son uses "Mama" and the other uses "Mom"..

But.....when they really want my attention....when the going gets tough....when they have something special to share....it is "Mommy" they call.

I don't know about you, but "Mommy" melts me.  Mommy causes my heart to perk up and listen...it sends waves of tenderness flowing through me which crashes over my soul.

Just last night I had the "privilege" of reviewing one of my son's address books on his phone....right there, in black and white at the top of his phone call list was "Mommy"....so each time I call him or he calls me, it is to Mommy.

I smiled for a long time when I read my name on his address book....I'm still smiling.

I won't name the child for fear he might be teased by friends who might read this :) but suffice it to say it might surprise his friends ....but, then again, no, it wouldn't...

They wouldn't be surprised because his friends have heard him call me Mommy....frequently...and, even some of them call me that as well.

I like being my children's mommy....its not a word they use in a childish, immature way.  They use the name in a way one who is confident would...boldly...as if..."this is MY Mommy and I am proud of it".  I am her child. She is my mother.

I like that.

I like it that my children know I am their number one supporter.  That I will be there for them when everyone else leaves.  That I will stand in front of them in danger.  That I will cheer for them when they do well and will encourage them when they struggle.  I like that they know that I will help them to the best of my ability to achieve their dreams.  That I will encourage them to do the work...even when it is hard.  I will force them to finish what they start, to give their best effort.  I will accept nothing less than their best effort.

I like it that they know they cannot "fool" me, that just because I don't say something doesn't mean I don't know what is going on.  That I can be quiet and just listen when they need to talk.

I like it that they have each told me what they like best about me is that I am Real to them.  I count this a humble honor...that  my children see me as real...feel me as real.  like me even though they are able to see my real flaws.

We have a rule at our house...no topic is off limits as long as one is respectful and truthful.  Thus, we have discussed many, many, many things...at times, we discuss things as a group and at other times, on a one-on-one basis, but discuss things we do.

I like it that we do this...it is what my own Mommy did with my siblings and I as well.

It is what makes the difference between being "Mom" and "Mommy"....

Being able to accept my children right where they are, guiding but not judging, leading but not forcing, praying but not challenging is my favorite part of being their Mommy.

And, I know...without a shadow of a doubt, that there is no other word which flows so sweetly off their lips as "Mommy"....

Privileged I am to be called such a name...

My challenge to you....do you live in appreciation of your own Mommy?  do you tell her?  does she know how grateful you are to be her child?  If not, I pray you stop what you are doing and go tell her...now..for I can promise you this, there is no greater sound than your voice calling her name....

Blessings,
Lesa