Happy Anniversary, Mama and Daddy....

My parent's 57th anniversary is today, September 7, 2014.  

 That's a long time and a rare gift in today's society.  Having lived through 18 years within my parent's home and 34 watching them from my own home, I know that theirs was not a perfect marriage nor would they want to pretend it was. It was/is a beautiful marriage and, what they did have which helped them make it through to today, their 57th anniversary, is a mutual love of God.

There are lessons I learned from watching my parents walk this journey together, lessons that, I wish I had understood better at 23, but that now at 52, I cherish and honor.

My parents…

Keep God as their center.  They both keep God as their center individually and they keep God as their center of their marriage.  They seek out His wisdom during the hard times and they praise His Holy Name in the good times.  

Keep God at the center of their children's lives.  Mama and Daddy were "3 times a weekers".  Meaning that our family attended church three times a week no matter what.  They understood the importance of fellowshipping with their spiritual family not only individually, but as a family.  Even when their children rebelled, moved away from home for college, got married, it was clear, if you came to Mama and Daddy's house, come Sunday or Wednesday, you would be going with them to church. And, you would do it with a good attitude.

Are active in their faith walk.  My parents didn't just warm a pew when they went to church, they preached, led singing, set up communion, waited on the Lords table, taught classes, typed the bulletin, cleaned the baptistery, ministered to the hurting, sought out the rebellious and shared their love of God, they ministered to the needy, the lost and the lonely.  They loaned money, time, their home, and even at times, were known to loan out a child of their own to mow lawns, babysit, snap beans, and the list could go on forever.  They didn't just take us to "church".  They lived and still live out their faith.

Honor the roll of each other in front of their children.  My parents were/are real in front of us children.  They don't hide the fact that they disagreed at times.  They may have even fought one or two times within our hearing. But, what they do do is show honor to one another.  Mama honors Daddy and follows his leading even during the feminist era where so many women fought against their husbands in their effort to break the glass ceiling.  And, we children know without a doubt that our Daddy loves and honors our Mama and that we are to do the same.  I never one time worried about the well-being of one or the other of my parents because I knew no matter how bad things might get, they were going to "hang on hanging on" and that they would do it with love, honor and respect.  

Love one another no matter what.  I cannot tell you what a gift parents give their children when they "choose" to love one another.  I never have to wonder if my Daddy loves my Mama or my Mama loves my Daddy.  Never.  That makes all the difference in my life and I feel certain, in the lives of my siblings.  I see them live out I Corinthians 13 over and over and over again.

Agree to persevere.  My parents raised five children and loved on three others who they claim as children.  It was/is not always easy.  Needs were larger than their budget.  Stress from work, farming and working their jobs could have made them fall apart, but they didn't.  They didn't because they chose to persevere and to do so together as husband and wife and father and mother.

Are selfless.  My parents demonstrated years and years and years of selflessness.  You cannot have 5/8 children and be selfish.  It requires that you give every day….every day….every day of yourself and they did/do this faithfully.  It was not easy.  They consciously chose to be selfless.  And, we kids were/are witness to that decision.

Are involved.  My parents have worn out their homes and their vehicles serving others, being involved in the lives of others, ministering to others, dragging back to the fold others who may have gone astray.  In fact, if you are reading this humble blog, I suspect that in some way or another during your life, my parents have in some way touched you.  

Are able to admit they made mistakes.  Lest you read this and think, "well, they are just perfect and I will never be perfect", please don't.  My parents were not nor will they ever be perfect.  They have made mistakes personally, as a spouse, as a parent and as a friend.  But, what is powerful to me is that I have witnessed them say and have had said to me, "I am sorry.  Please forgive me.".  Godly….powerful….humbling words to hear from your parents to whom YOU are to show honor.  They have taught me and my siblings the importance of being sorrowful for wrong doing and for calling it by name and seeking out forgiveness.  

Tell the Truth.  It is impossible to have a relationship with anyone unless you are a truth teller.  My parents are truth tellers and they have taught us children the holy significance of being truth tellers.

Laugh at themselves and one another.  You don't have to be around my parents long before you will be laughing at something they say or something they do.  And, when I say laugh, I mean full-on, gut giggling, belly shaking laugh.  They understand that laughter is great medicine and our family has laughed a lot over the past years.

Expect their children to love one another come "hell or high water".  When you have five/eight children, you are going to have conflicts.  It is inevitable.  But, one thing is certain, if you do, you will know that you are going against the will of my mother and father.  They expect all of us to love one another, to be kind to one another, to forgive one another and to love one another.  No matter what.  Period.  

Love each other and each of their children as if they were the "favorite".  While we may have teased over the years that one child or the other is my Mama or Daddy's favorite, the reality is that all of us children know that EACH of us is our parent's favorite.  Have some garnered more "mama/daddy" time than others, yes.  But, at the end of the day, my parents give a great effort to make sure each of us is their much beloved child…their favorite.  As I say the name in my head of each of my siblings, I can tell you at least one trait about that sibling which is particularly dear to my parents.  I can.  I know that they are special to the heart of Mama and Daddy and can paint a picture of exactly why they are special.  I know this because my parents have one way or another told me about this special trait of my sibling or they have shown me how that sibling is special.  As a result, my love for my siblings is a tender gift within my heart.

Love their grandbabies.  When you have fourteen grandchildren, it is impossible to be all things to all of them at all the times they need to be. Yet, my parents try their best to make sure each grandchild knows they are loved, cared for and prayed over.  They are mighty and powerful prayer-warriors for their grandchildren and their grandchildren know this.  It is a holy legacy Mama and Daddy pass on to their offspring's' offspring…

Are Prayer Warriors.  If someone asked me what is the one thing my parents have given me that I treasure the most on this earth, it is that I know without a shadow of a doubt that they pray daily for me, my children, my siblings and their children every single day.  They pray when things are good.  They bear down in prayer when things are not good.  When Mama or Daddy say, "I'll be praying for you" they are  not just saying the words….they are kneeling at the foot of Jesus and placing your name before Him. 

As I write, I realize, my writing could go on and on and on….for, there are so many blessings my parents have given us children during their 57 years of marriage. Blessings for which you cannot place on it a price tag.  They are priceless.  

As are my Mama and Daddy.

For some reason, when God planned this family, he allowed Chuck, Frankie, Emily, Kelsey, Ian, Lesa, Madison, Kenton, Johnson, Jim, Jay, Sarah, Walker, Tainey, Barry, Jill, Natalie, Jenna, Erwin, Pheli, Eli, Emmerie, Cecelia, JonCarver, Bruce, Andrea, Rylee, Thane and Tashula to be their children…and, for them to be our parents.  And, on this 57th anniversary of their marriage, we honor them and we praise God for them and we thank God for them.

For they have taught us the number one most valuable lesson of this life….

"Love one another as He has loved us"

Happy Anniversary Daddy and Mama.

We love you with all of our hearts.