As Only Your Mama Can..                                     

               January 11, 2014

 

Life Lesson Number 3:  Marry Up

I know you have heard the expression many times that you should “marry up”.  And, of course, this is typically in reference to marrying better…richer…more beautiful…more lovely…stronger…more composed, educated, etc. etc. etc.

And, there is nothing wrong with any of that….on its face.

But, my prayer for you, my wish for you, my hope for you….my mother’s spirit’s soul’s desire for you is to marry

UP….

As in….UP…the one true up

As in….Christian mate from a Christian home with Christian siblings and Christian relatives and Christian friends, fully covered and blanketed with faithfulness

As in UP comes first, and you come second, your children come third and your families come fourth and your friends come fifth….I think you get the picture.

Marry a man whose every breathing moment is spent looking UP, living UP, striving UP…

Don’t be afraid to marry an imperfect man who willingly acknowledges that he is not perfect, that his family is not perfect, that his friends are not perfect….

Don’t be afraid to marry a man who struggles with sin, who falters and falls, who stumbles and crashes…

Don’t be afraid to marry a man who would rather live in true gut truth with you and hurt your feelings rather than pretty lies which make nice

Don’t be afraid to marry a man who does not have 100% confidence in all he does

Don’t be afraid to marry a man who is not afraid to try new things and fail; to take new paths and get lost….

None of these things make a man bad…..when that man tries his heart’s best to live UP

None of these things are fatal…when that man gives his all to looking UP

None of these things are insurmountable…when that man knows that He lives for the UP which can move mountains, part seas and place babies in mangers who later save humanity

Marriage is not perfect any more than the man you marry will be perfect.

Learn that now.  Commit that to your heart.

Marriage is not guaranteed as God does not call all to the union with another.

Believe that now.

Marriage is not the answer to loneliness, wealth, comfort and companionship.

It is not the panacea for a person nor is it the death of a person

If your mate looks and lives UP

And, more importantly, if you look and live UP

You cannot expect to marry a man who lives for UP if you do not

You cannot hope to marry a man who carries in his heart a selflessness if you do not

You cannot expect to marry a man who is strong in the Lord if you are not

Or, at least you cannot do this very well..

Hard it is to be ‘unequally yoked” meaning that you are not working together as you move forward in your married life….so critical, so vital it is to be real and authentic and committed to how you are going to live as a married couple

And, for WHOM you are going to live….

And, as much as I pray that God makes sure you connect and become one with THE one He knit especially for you…(and, trust me….He does this)

I pray moreso that YOU are the One God calls you to be so that when your mate meets you, He will know you are his one…

Marriage is a commitment to holiness….not happiness

If you do not understand what this means, then you are not yet ready to marry

And, I pray you do not marry, until you understand what that means….

I pray you wait until you understand what it means to make first, a covenant with God

And, then second, with your husband

I pray you forestall the marriage you want until you understand that love is something you build upon, forgiveness is something you learn to do, and persevereing is a commitment you make for a life time

I have such prayerful hopes for you regarding marriage….

I have been praying for God to send you a mate since your birth and even before

I have been praying for your mate, that you will grow into the Godly woman you need to become

And, all these years…..I have prayed that you look UP

And, in the looking, find a man who is looking UP

And, in your looking….fine one another and some 50 years later….or 60….0r 70…..

You are able to hear Him say,

“well done….my good and faithful servants”

Humbly, oh so very humbly, I share these words from my heart…..I know you understand

ILYAOYMC,

Mama