Dear Husband,
When we were young and spoke of marriage, we only anticipated
good things, positive times, and wonderful adventures. Then life happened, and our paths were
separated for what we now know to be a thirty year season of time.
When we re-united as adults, we knew that marriage was
good things, positive times, and wonderful adventures and yet, we also
understood it was painful, sorrowful, and filled with challenges.
We came into our marriage via a path we both have said
privately and publically that we would do differently were we able to do
again. And, I know with all of my heart,
that we would. And, more importantly,
God knows we would.
The past four years have grown in our hearts a humility and
gratefulness that only God can bring to a marriage and only then, when the man
and woman are receptive to His leading.
We are and have been receptive to the leading, guiding, and even at
times, humbling of our gracious Savior knowing that only through Him are we
able to bring honor and beauty to the vows we shared through Him and to one
another.
Truth
There is an intimate tenderness to our marriage due to God’s
sweetest compassion and gentlest healing within our lives.
So, today, I want you to know how grateful to God that I am
for the gift of you in my life.
You have done for me what husbands are called to do….you
have pointed me to our heavenly Father and have reminded me that I am
His much beloved child……
You stand aside….you stand down….you stand away and let me
find my own path back to God
And, for that, I am forever grateful
The vows we spoke that early May 14th morning are
precious to my heart….I read them often so as to remember that while I am HIS,
I also, for this season God gives us, am yours
“His first, mine next” is what you tell me, constantly
reminding me that while I am your wife, I am first and foremost His child
So many things about our relationship are precious to
me….one of which are the words you shared when you asked me to marry you so I
write them here so our children will one day be able to read what we hope our
lives will emulate for them.
I have stood on the rocky shores of Maine to the black sand
beaches of Hawaii. From the golden sand
beaches here in Florida to the continental Divide in the Rocky Mountains, to
the vast wilderness of Canada to the son baked sands of New Mexico. From the delivery room watching my son be
born to the foot of the grave watching them lower my Mama and Daddy into the
ground. All of these places and times, I
have always known something was missing in my life….It’s not missing anymore.”
“Lesa,
I know what hate is, and I know what true love is
I know what it is to be empty of God, and I know what it is
to have my cup overflow
I know how to work hard, and I know how to play hard
I know what cheap is, and I know what is more precious and
valuable than gold, silver, and the human voice can express
I know how to build a wall around my heart to protect me, and
I know how to give my heart completely with no strings attached
I know how to dream a goal, and how to work as hard as I can
to make it happen
I know how to love someone so much to be able to say, “If
it’s important to you, it’s important to me”
I know how to love someone so much to water, nourish, and
cultivate them so they are able to grow into the most beautiful flower in the
garden”
Ian to
Lesa
”I love you more than all of the 2,913,083 sunrises
in the East. What is important to you is
important to me. I promise to love, cherish
and protect you. To be your husband,
love, and deep-spirited friend. As Jesus
loves His church, so my words and actions will evoke your beauty and everything
I do I will strive to bring out the best in you and me.
I promise to keep God in the center of our
lives. To be happy and celebrate God
each day with you. To pray every day
with you and for you. To find in you the
best things which are noble, reputable, gracious, beautiful, and praiseworthy.
Lesa
I knew when you were 13, 16, 18, and now that you have
a precious heart. I promise to protect
your heart and your spirit. I promise to
water, cultivate, and nourish you to become the most “beautiful flower in the
garden.”
I pledge and commit to you and only you my love,
heart, body, mind and strength. My love for you is passionate; I will live in
“true gut” truth and honesty with you. I
will search for new ways to love you, and when I find them, I will love you in
those ways.
My love will be marked with giving not getting. I want to hear you laugh and see you smile
each day.
Madison, Kenton, and Johnson, I promise to love you
as if you were my own children. My home
is your home. You have my promise to
love and protect you in all ways, always.
You have my promise to love and protect your Mama.
Jacob and Lindsay, I love you. You will never be replaced. I don’t ask you to give up your seat, but
rather, that you add more place settings around our table.
Lesa,
I would die for you, climb the highest mountain….our
love will “keep us together”
I love you with all of my heart
All that I have and am, I give to you
Ian
Lesa to Ian
I cannot remember a time in my life when you were not
in some way a part of it. Our families
attended church together….I think that is significant. My first memory of you and I together is our
“swing” incident....also a church event.
You were my first crush at 13, my first car date at 16, and my first
love at 18. All of my associations with
you involve God, church, and family….and, in that order. And, I think, that too, is significant. I knew at 8 that you were kind because you
took time to push me on my swing and even turned around and gave me a
wink. I love you for that with a little
girl love for a young boy.
I knew at 13 you were Godly because you told me to
protect my virtue…to save myself for a boy who deserved me.
I knew at 16 you were a truth teller because you
honored your word and came back to my hometown to take me on my first car
date. I remember it clearly…the way you
held open my car door, held my hand, walked me back to my parent’s door, and
sweetly kissed my cheek. I love you with
the sweetness of a 16 year old girl.
I knew at 18 you were a Man of Integrity for when we
went our separate ways, you let me go gently so I could go to college and live
my life. I loved you for that gift and
truly believe we would find our way back to one another if it was meant to
be. And, we have.
I know at 49 that you are a Godly, Loving, and Giving
man…you show it in the way you treat me on a daily basis-in your words-in your actions. For the first time in my entire life, I know
what it is to be fully and unconditionally loved by my husband.
When I see myself reflected in your eyes, I see a
precious, lovely, and Godly woman…that is the greatest gift you can give to me
and you give it daily.
I love how you treat my children…you discipline them
yet do so with a kind and gentle heart.
You share fun with them and invite them to participate. You share your worldly possessions and yet,
you let them see what you share actually comes from God, not your own work.
You role model God’s love for me and for them
You are a giver and they are learning to be givers
from you.
And, what I promise you today….to be a giver-back to
you.
I promise to give my life to God first, then to you,
our children, our family, our friends. I
promise to give you my life long fidelity and love.
I promise to love you as God calls for a wife to love
a husband…fully, wholly, and unconditionally.
I promise to submit to your authority because I trust
you with my heart, soul, and love.
I promise to seek news ways to love you and when I
find them, to love you in those new ways.
I promise when you see yourself reflected in my eyes,
you will see a precious heart, a tender spirit, and a Godly man.
I promise that when hard times come, and they will,
that I will hold your hand until we reach the other side.
I promise to love Jacob and Lindsay with the same love
as I do my own and to respect their wishes with regard to me.
And, I promise to strive always to remember the VALUE
of the GIFT God has given me when He gives you to me today.
I love you forever and one day
Lesa
So, as we celebrate this anniversary of marriage to one
another, we truly are celebrating so, so much more than a day filled with
words…and vows…
We celebrate and understanding of the value of the GIFT that is marriage and we do so not from youthful exuberance
and carefree confidence that all
will be wonderful at all times and in all
ways….
We celebrate with a mature understanding of how we came to
be…..and how God, in His mercy, made something beautiful in His time out of two
individuals who were not always lovely in their time.
And, I thank you….for all that you are and all that you will
continue to be as we walk this journey of life together.
I thank you for the gentle and tender care you have shown me
these past eleven months as I struggle back to health
I thank you for loving me and my children as we so dearly
needed to be loved
We are not perfect
Nor do we aspire to be
Instead, we aspire to be His
Only His
Always His
Forever His
And, we give ourselves to Him not only individually, but
jointly, as man and wife
I love you…..
Second only to God
Wife
