It's All in How We Die……..and,
in How We Live
There is a
truth I have come to accept these past 37 days….
Early on, I
wasn't wise enough to understand, then later, I knew its truth but didn't give
the respect to this knowledge that it deserved and here lately….specifically,
the past 37 days, I have come to adult acceptance of its truth…
I am dying
As sure as I
was born in Germany in March of 1962….
I am dying
And, not in
those little incremental "way off in the future" deaths which we have
when we are young, nor in those larger-life deaths when become adults, but in
that, "hey, life is short if you live to be old" moments which come
with age….
52
I have been
dying for 52 years
Ever since
my "Daddy's girl" Mama married my "Military boy" Daddy and
they saw fit to hug one another tightly enough in prayer to have God grant them
a foreign born baby girl,
I have been
dying
You cannot live without the promise of its
counterpart….dying
There is a
peace which comes to the heart of a woman who knows she's dying…
There is a
sense of right and wrong, happy and sad, holding on and letting go which is
brought to clarity in mind's eye when you can say the words,
"I am
dying"
Now, lest my
siblings confront me with my bent, in their minds, toward dramatic flair…(we
are a dramatic family, I kid you not)
I want to
assure you
I don't
think I am going to take that final sleep this very moment (although that is
clearly up to our Creator)
But, what I
am understanding during the long, twenty-four hours I spend sitting reading….talking…texting…enjoying
the laughter of my family and the quiet of my solitude is...
That there
is truth in the statement
I am dying
And, when
you have such knowledge so closely held within your daily living…
You
become blessed
You become
blessed, you are blessed, you will be blessed with this little nugget of
knowledge because I believe it is at that nano-moment you get that you are,
yes, truly, without fail, going to die that….
You start
to really live
Now, I do
know folks who are sage and wise and so much more aware for their years than
the average you and me….they know this truth early in their life and it makes a
difference in how they spend their days…
Jesus…comes
quickly to mind
But, also
Mother Teresa, Viktor Frankle, Billy Graham, Mary…..
And others
not so well known
IY, KK, IY,
ER, KB….to list a few
But, for
most of us…I think this blessing of knowledge comes later in life
What is
special about even the late-bloomers (myself included, I hope), is that even
though it takes them a little longer to accept this living/dying truth, they
still plant seeds of hope and truth along their ways...
A young boy
with blond hair and crazy ideas tells a girl she is precious and she believes him; a sweet girl reminds a life friend
that "it'll be okay"; a little girl angel tells all, "I've got
the power" and they believe her…even as she lays her head to earthly rest,
the power is still standing
Whether you
come to this acceptance of live early or late….your steps on the terra ferma of
this earth make a difference….
And, you
just never know which steps make a difference to which person on which day and
to what degree
No life
lived is wasted
No death
goes un-sorrowed
That
homeless man at Hope Center you scooped out eggs to….he was someone's baby
That angry young
woman with red hair who spews out vile cursing and then quotes God….she's someone's
baby
Those lost
on the road who have parents clueless to their where-abouts…they are missed
Even the
ugliest hearts have someone's' heart hostage in real and genuine love
Because all
who are knitted in a mother's womb are loved….
Truth
As sure as
blood courses through a vein is truth….someone is loved, someone will live,
someone will die
What counts
in our hearts and keeps us small~stepping forward is how we spend our days
Between the
dash
Just like
the poem (Google it….The Dash)
I have come
to appreciate in these past 37 days that there is nothing I can do which really
matters but that there is nothing I can do to stop something I do from
mattering to someone at some time
Or….in
short, while I may not realize what I am doing or saying matters, it may be
just the very thing to matter to someone that day
That is
short knowledge which has come to me as I spend time pondering life….and death
and dying and birth and living
We don't
know
We just
don't ever know when something we say or do might just be exactly what another
fellow-dying-person might need at just that exact moment
So, in our acceptance that we are
dying…we live
And, in our
living….we make a difference, whether we know it or not
And, isn't
that what makes our life worth living?
Practicing
living gives hope to our dying
Because,
when we truly do lay down our head on that soft pillow for the final time…
It's what we
do with our moments in joyful sharing….in authentic caring….in faithful praying
which folks will cling fast to
No one
really wants to remember the bad in a life
I don't
think
What we want
to do for others is the same we want done for us…
Please
fellow travelers…lifelong friends…family members…stranger who I gave a quarter
to…
Please
remember my good
Your good
Dig through
your heart spring of life and find a morsel of good in me, in you….so that
My dying…your
dying will be a blessing…..
My life…your
life will be a gift
Because in
this truth, we are all soul-mates
As surely as
we are born….all knit tightly in our mother's womb
We will die….
We are dying
So, let's
make our dying be our joyful-living one moment at a time…..
Blessings,
Lesa
