Striving to be “His”…
Gone am I and my family for the amount of time it takes to travel to
daughter Madison’s college, deposit her belongings, fix up her room, hang her
clothes….and traverse back homeward…
On its surface it was just another busy, time consuming day filled with
laughter, fatigue, a little anxiety and much gratefulness…but, in the soul,
where things matter big, it was a huge day…
Made so because, as if in s l o w
M o t i o n,
I could see life happening in my child’s life.
I saw her walk all woman-like into her dorm and secure the home she
would have these next nine months at her chosen place of higher education. She looked over to me waiting to see if I
would take over. But, before I could
decline, she stepped forward and took charge.
Of her life.
And, I sat….and watched. Mother
love suspended over her like rainbows of light over an earth of green in a sky
of true blue, humble gratefulness settled over me that daughter has arrived to
this day.
It is the little things I notice much these days…
The way she places hand over her mouth when tickled at something funny,
the silly face she makes when anxious and the tear-pooled eyes when she is
uncertain how to travel forward.
But, I am noticing newness in her behavior which had not been there
yesterday.
She no longer waits on me to encourage her to move ahead…she moves
ahead, looks my direction, then moved in the way she has chosen…more confident
and certain because she is grounded.
To be “God’s girl”
Even when she is uncertain what exactly that means; even when she
reviews a past of not being “God’s girl; even when she sees brothers and
sisters, teachers, leaders, family not being “God’s”.
She tells me her heart’s desire is to be a hand-holder through this
life…
A Hand Holder…
Of family, of friends, of new ones who come into her life. Of lost souls who travel her path, of
patients she cares for at a place where not many would dare to work.
And, deep in the place of my soul where pride would live if it were a
Godly thing, I place gratefulness…
For in the heart of my student-daughter,
As I leave her at college today..
I see a lamb…who, as God has promised…was gathered back
into the fold..
And, in her heart….her precious, tender, gentle yet strong heart, I am
witness…
To Him….to the goodness of a God who knows each of us by name,
loves to brush each hair on our head so he can count them…who knew us before we
came to the here and now, when we were just a promise of heaven’s sweetest
gifts…
And I am indebted….in a holy indebtedness to God….who makes children so
pure and lovely and wonderful that a mother’s whole soul is filled with joy
that it overflows into her own heart..
When your child paints a picture of her loving God on the parchment of
your heart, you have received a gift which cannot be described in mere words…
If described at all, it is through the dropping on knees to the whisper
of prayer…
“Thank you, Lord, for the gift of this child…whom although imperfect is
made perfect in her striving to be
Yours…”
