In dedication to my four years (effective April 28th) of survivorship...moreso, in dedication to my "BC" friends who have battled before me, battled with me, battle now and will battle in the future. To those who, like me, had very early stage breast cancer and moreso to those who are battling serious battles or who have fought the good fight but who are no longer with us. Cancer does many things to a person....some not so good at all, but some, which can change us forever.
I am grateful for those who traveled and still travel this journey with me. You are dear to my heart and are God's reflection during a season I so needed His presence.
If you know someone who has cancer, I pray you will reach out to them today in prayer, in thought and if possible, just to hug and love them.
Top Row, Right
June 7, 2008.
Through the front door of Dr. M's office, to the check-in window, through the door with the sign "for patients only", turn to the right, first door on the right…
Top Row, first cubby on the right
"lesa" printed out on a small index card, waiting.
Normally, I would enjoy seeing my name in print…I like the unique spelling, a portion of my Daddy " Chester Lee" invested in my name.
But, on this day, it was a shock to my soul.
L e s a
My person, my self, my being had cancer. And, not just any cancer, but breast cancer. Unbelievable.
Until now. They would not put my name on the cubby if I didn’t need to have a cubby. I wouldn’t need a cubby if I didn’t need the treatment. I wouldn’t need the treatment if I didn’t have cancer.
In my breast.
I love my breasts. They came to me at an early age when my girlish figure was that of twelve but my breast knew themselves to be twenty-one. I confess it was not love at first budding. It was more like womanhood possessing me and taking over my body.
But, as age walked me down my life’s path, I grew to love, appreciate and even enjoy them.
I enjoyed the intimacy of mother and child when I nursed my babies and remember being grateful that my children and I were able to enjoy early morning and late night feedings. I came to know the hearts of my little babies while nursing them.
So, when I saw my name listed, top row right, and knew there was a very real possibility I might lose my two sweet friends, it was devastating.
I was afraid.
No, I was more than afraid, I was broken hearted.
I love and want to keep my them.
So, I soldiered-up…and took many right turns…right into the doctor’s office, right to the check in where LeeAnn greeted me with a warrior’s welcome, right through the door marked "for patients only", right to the first door with the cold knob.
And, then I did what all of we breast cancer warriors do…walked up to that tag labeling me a battler, removed my bra and shirt, warmed my breasts with my hands and laid down the gown to cover them up.
I walked out that door, down the hall and began the journey which would give me back many things I had not known I had lost.
My courage
My heart
My soul’s desires
My prayer life
My tender family moments
My growth in faith
And, just as important, my realization that I was more than just my breasts. My breasts were simply reminders of my feminine core, beautiful symbols and worth fighting for.
But, whether they stayed with me as a part of my body or whether they left me and took a piece of my heart along with them, I would survive.
I am grateful for "top row, right" for that simple little cubby symbolizes many right things in my life. Lessons learned only because I fought the good fight, battling in pink and learning to love every precious day I have.
Blessings...all wrapped up in Pink,
Lesa
Dedicated to Isaac Gastineau....Praying daily many times for your earthly healing, grateful for every moment your family has you, battling in spirit along beside you. We love you....
