A Mama Moment……..
with Johnson
Spending time with my
children on a one-on-one basis is a gift I treasure as we have to work
hard to find those little moments. Many
times, for me and Johnson, we find this time on the way to and from baseball
games, such as last night…(LOVE the rule that players cannot drive themselves).
I love where Johnson is right
now in his life……he’s thinking a lot about his future….
Who do I want to be?
Where do I want to live?
Do I want to marry? Have
children?
What do I have to do to get
ready for my senior year?
Where will I go to college?
What do I want to be?
Can I play baseball in
college?
What kind of doctor do I want
to be? (he had been researching oncologists (I’ve had cancer), rheumatologists
(who knows) and ENT’s (popular and not heart-breaking)
How do I balance work and
college?
What kind of job do I want to
do for the rest of my life?
Last night as we were driving
to the game, he explains to me this “energy” he has in his life….to “do
something” but he does not know what he wants to do….
I so appreciate that…….
I further appreciate that he
knew enough to know that you have to “pursue” in life those things you want to
be in life…
What I have been praying for
Johnson is that he will channel this energy…this drive….this sense of the need
to do something with this life in a good and positive and Godly direction.
I am well aware that he is at
an age where his daily decisions can have huge impacts on his life….and, for
now, he seems to be considering that as well.
He shared some of his life
with me (we have this agreement…better the ugly truth than a pretty lie….and so
I never know what I am going to learn).
And, we have this agreement that no matter what is shared, I will never
break confidence and I don’t, not about them, not about their friends. I know I probably only am invited to see a
smidgen of what is actually in his/their lives, but I am grateful for what is
shared…..it helps me find joy in them and it points my prayer life in the
direction God would have it go.
But, more and more, what he
shares grows in my mother’s heart a true and sincere appreciation for the man
my son is becoming….
And, I am grateful…
I believe in Johnson. I believe that God is growing him into a
strong and mighty and Godly man. I see
his tender heart and his compassion and his love for people. I sense his anxious moments, his stress to be
successful and his quest for figuring out who he is and who he wants to become. I even see things which concern me and which I hope he is able to grow through....and, I believe he will.
And, again, I am grateful.
This journey that my son is
on…..God allows me to share it.
This trip he takes into
manhood…..I am enabled to watch him walk it.
And, in the walking, in the
sharing….in the listening….in the sweet minute moments we are given together, I
am given a glimpse into the heart of my child….
And, I am loving what I see….
And, I am using what I am loving
to pray.
A Mama moment….may I
never miss a single one.
