A Message From Ladder......

A Message from Ladder….

Snickelbritches, 

Happy Monday!!  I want to share with you a verse which is on my heart, especially in light of last night’s little highway mishap….which, by the way, you handled very well.  The more you are challenged and overcome the challenge, the better and stronger you will be.  I am proud of you!!

 

I Thessalonians 5: 16-18 

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 

This is one of my very favorite verses, from when I was young.  It has carried me through many things and times in my life.  I now share it with you, because I love you.  

I know It’s easy to get down and upset when things don’t go right.  It’s easy to forget to pray when things are going well.  When things don’t go the way you want them to, it’s often hard to be thankful.  But you can always know, God is there; He will never forsake you.  

Remember, God loves you, family loves you, trust in God.  It may not always go the way you want, but trust in God, He will be there.  Turn to him and be thankful always. 

Don’t just do this in the big things….do this in even the little things…like broken windshield wiper blades. 

Yes, God even cares about your wiper blades….because the same God who can count the hairs on your sweet little head can also know how vital it is to have operating windshield wiper blades on a rainy night. 

I love that you called me for help.  I love that you knew you could call. 

I love being your Ladder.  I count it one of my greatest joys…. 

Have a great week and remember….go get them fixed!! 

Love you,

Ladder

 

 

 

 

If It’s Monday, It’s Mama…..

I missed last week.  I didn’t think you noticed until last evening when you asked where your “letter” was and expressed to me that you missed it!  While you are always good to express your thanks, so I know you enjoy my Mama love letters to you…I didn’t realize how much you loved your letters until now…

I have this image in my head of you….a sweet little smiley face all giggles and laughs.  You were such a happy, sweet baby.  I have loved every single moment of being your Mama.  We have been through many things together….you and I….and are bonded strong because of it.  A bond which is forged right deep in the heart where God lives….one which can never be broken, come what may…. 

You have a great heart….one which was evident very early on in your life.  I remember expressing some concern about your stubbornness when you were young and Mrs. Debbie telling me, “Lesa, Madison will be okay…she has a great heart.”  You did then and still do, have such a precious heart.  I am grateful that you do…

Words come quickly to my mind when I think of your heart… 

Godly

Kind

Compassionate

Giving

Forgiving

Strong

Bold

Daring

Tender

Lovely

Courageous

Sympathetic

Empathetic

Generous 

And, the list could go on and on… 

I think what I love most about your heart is that while you have many reasons for it to be broken…you CHOOSE to not be.  You give it over daily to God for Him to heal, and nurture and grow. 

I cannot help but think when God looks at your heart, He smiles….. 

And, now I watch you prepare your heart to be a giver….to give back to this life in service and in Jesus’ name… 

You are building a foundation on service…on work….on ministry….which I cannot wait to see blossom and bloom. 

And, I think you will have a great ministry in this life.  You seem to draw to you those who hurt and are broken.  Those for whom life is not always a great joy.  I hear you speak to your friends encouraging them to work for better….to walk toward God. 

I see you non-judgmentally befriend others whom the world would turn away. 

I have heard you share your own life circumstances with authenticity and truth so that they can know that there is HOPE… 

I listen and watch as you go to church….sometimes, even alone….. 

And, I am so grateful. 

What a privilege and honor to have you for my daughter.  To watch you grow and be and become… 

God’s Girl… 

A woman who, admittedly not perfect, uses her life to share with others so that when they look at you, they can see a heart… 

A sweet heart…

A lovely heart… 

A heart who loves God.

 

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

When We Give God Control….

I am, well….used to be a “problem fixer”.  Even as a little girl, I could not stand anyone to be upset. Whether they were mad, sad, angry or hurt, if someone was any of those things, I wanted to “fix” it…help them….make them smile.

As a young wife, I could not stand the thought of my husband ever being “out of sorts” in any way and would go to great lengths to right his life, no matter what the cost.  As a young mother, I sacrificed much for the “betterment of my children”, even to a fault, even to the point of spoiling them.

I had great fear.  Many fears.  Deep fears which caused me to think this way. 

I don’t totally understand why I was this way….some people like turmoil in their life.  I do not.  Rather than knowing “when to hold them, or when to fold them”, I would hang in there trying my darndest to “make it right”, to keep the peace. 

In my mind, if someone was upset, then it had to be my fault in some way….I have no clue where that thought came from, but I am beginning to…. 

A friend of mine has written a book, “No More Christian Nice Girl” which addresses just this issue.  I think we somehow believe that to be a good, Christian woman, we are to sacrifice our souls at the altar of self.   

The bad news for me was, that because I could never solve everyone’s problems, make everyone better, take away another’s pain, that I felt like I lived in constant failure.

A person cannot live and thrive in a state of constant failure…. 

A person dies in constant failure. 

Or, they take other paths…..distancing themselves, becoming mean so as to shelter their soul, living in a state of fake-ness with a pasted on smile and a “having the time of my life” attitude. 

But, this is not a way to live. 

And, it is not a Godly way to be. 

God calls us to live authentically….as Christ did.

God calls us to live in truth…because the truth shall set you free.

God calls us to live in service…because by serving, you grow personally. 

I have learned that God does not call me, nor do I have the ability or maturity to fix the problems of those around me.  But, I can and do have the responsibility to not be a part of the problem.  This is not as easy as it may sound.  Sometimes, we are a problem to others even though in our own hearts, we don’t mean to be or even know we are or how we got there.  Some relationships we just cannot fix.   

This is painful knowledge.   

This is the beginning of surrendering our lives to God, who CAN fix. 

And, I am growing in my realization that this is what God requires of us.  A wholly, fully giving over all aspects of our lives to HIM.   When we truly give over our lives to God, we fully can give over the hurts in our lives.  I am learning that the more I surrender my life..in big and small things to Him…the more I can surrender my soul to Him.

God is a God of freedom….and peace….and joy….and love.

We cannot have those things if we rely on ourselves or on human-kind.  It takes a Holiness of spirit which only God can provide. 

Only God can heal the blind, give hearing to the deaf and cause the cripple to walk….only God can mend a broken heart, heal a failed friendship, bind together a broken union.

What I do think it requires of us is a desiring heart….the more we give over our lives to Him, our hopes, our fears, our anxieties, our heartaches and ASK Him to help us….to heal us…to change us…the more He is able to do with us.

When we give over our lives to HIM, he works in us to strengthen us within ourselves.  The stronger we are ourselves, the more we can shine for Him.  The more we shine for Him, the stronger becomes our faith in Him.  The stronger our faith in Him, the more we surrender our lives to Him.

At fifty, I understand one thing very clearly….

Without God, I am nothing.  

WITH God, I am everything.   

It took me all these years to be able to say those words which I used to think were arrogantly pious…

WITH GOD I am everything….. 

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  Philippians 4:13

 And, while I still may not be able to “fix” things, solve the world’s problems, change a person’s heart, or mend things broken…. 

HE can.

What a gift in storing that knowledge in my heart….I don’t have to take on things I cannot control. 

God already has control. 

And, He already claims me as worthy. 

I can let go….and, walk…..toward Him constantly giving over to Him my life…and, He, in His great compassion and love, will make use of my life in a way which gives it fullness and meaning if I but seek Him with all of my heart.

That is His price….seeking Him with all of my heart…. 

That, I can do…. 

Blessings,

Lesa

If It’s Monday, It’s Mama… 

Thanks for coming home this weekend.  It was fun to spend time with you…take in a movie and generally be in your presence.  The tinkling of your laughter fills up our home when you are there….and, it brings smiles to our faces.

There are a few things I am grateful for this week with regards to you… 

One, you are working on being your “best you”.  I know you are not in love with that saying, but I am not sure how else to put it.  You are striving to grow in all ways…and, we can tell.   

You are working to be a Godly woman thus the Bible study, scripture search, worship and music you listen to.

You are working to be a good daughter, thus the acknowledgement…well somewhat acknowledgement of when you need to do things differently in order to be respectful.  Your willingness to make things right.  Your doing things honorably up front.

You are working to be a good sister, thus the conversations with your brothers.  You encourage them to think through their actions, make good decisions and wise choices.  I am humbled that you even are willing to share in your own mistakes.  God loves a humble heart and rewards integrity and honesty.

You are working to be a good student, thus the may hours of study for just one test.  The commitment to getting help when you need it.  The understanding that this IS important.

You are working to be a good friend, thus the attempt to continually support and encourage your friends, to be there in good times and bad.

You are working to be a good future wife, mother, daughter in law, thus the efforts to do all of the above… 

You are striving to be a wonderful Child of HIS…..giving over and over again your life to God.  I watch…I see your struggles with eyes and heart that only your God-given mother can see…and I am so humbled….so grateful…..that you are my daughter.  I see your strength as you pull from God’s love for you….

All God really wants is what you are striving to give….your whole heart….your love….

 All God asks is that we not grow weary….keep the faith….seek Him first.

 If I can see you doing these things…..

I can only imagine what beautiful treasures He sees in you….He who knit you so beautifully.

I love you….as only your Mama can….

Mama…

 

Of Special Note on this anniversary of Beth Morris’ birthday….I have to add this because I know if Beth were here, she would insist….I sincerely think Beth would be proud of her name-sake.  You have so many traits in common…your simple way of looking at things, your compassion for others, your boy-craziness (lol), your tender heart.  Beth, too, loved children and wanted a passel.  She loved pretty nails and colorful things.  Her prom dress was like a bouquet of flowers.  She laughed so hard she snorted just like you do.  But, most importantly…she loved.  She loved hard….she loved true.  She loved God….and she loved others.  And, while I don’t think I have ever shared your similarities too often before, because I wanted you to be you, not an image of Beth, as I watch you grow and mature, I see a lot of her in you….and, I know….she would be proud of you…and, she would remind you, “it’ll be alright”….and, to “turn that frown upside down…into a smile”.   She would adore you….as do I.

 

 

 

Meeting My Goal is not Without It’s Price 

When I turned fifty last March, I set a goal for myself.  I wanted to be as physically fit as I could be by my next birthday of fifty-one.  I thought it to be a lofty goal, and it has proven to be thus.  But, never did I imagine the price it would cost me if I truly want to succeed in fulfilling it. 

Having spent the first 28 years of my life extremely healthy, lean and exercise committed, I enjoyed a health which seemed natural to my body.  A lean 99 lbs. on my 5’2” frame was actually fairly simple to enjoy and I remained that weight successfully from around 18 until I gave birth to my first child at 28.  I distinctly remembering my Ob/GYN telling me that I would need to gain weight to give my baby food stores to live on during pregnancy and so, you guessed it, eating became my goal.  I did pretty well until month 7 when I became toxemic and gained 35lbs in 2 months.  And, as you can also guess, that weight did not come off easily post birth of my daughter.  I never did get back to my lean weight again.  My mistake.  The next five years included a history of attempting to get pregnant again through many different avenues, all of which sabotaged my ability to lose weight and my desire to fight the fight to regain health.  It did, however, present me with a “deposit in heaven” for which I am ever so grateful (baby Joseph) and a set of twins to capture my heart and add to my precious daughter. 

I say all of that to say this.  Never once during this season of my life did I give serious thought to the depths of “un health” I was allowing my body to “un-achieve”.  Sure, I knew I was not as lean and healthy as I used to be, but I was in denial of how seriously unhealthy I was allowing my overall health to decline. 

I regret this. 

Because now, at 50, it is no simple feat to regain the health I once had.  In fact, I am coming to realize, I cannot regain that same health in the same way.    

So, I am learning to set new goals more realistic to my current age and mind-set. 

I am learning the meaning of terms like lactic acidosis, muscle fatigue and cardio health.  I am learning these things because I have to go through them if I want to regain a healthy weight and health for my current body.

 

I am being reminded that if I ingest unhealthy foods into my body, there will be unhealthy consequences to my body later.  I am learning that if I “splurge” on things I once held dear (such as my beloved tea and chocolate), that I will feel the pain of ridding myself of that in my next workout which will hinder my ultimate goal of personal health. 

I am learning. 

I am learning. 

I am re-learning. 

There are not a lot of “new” things I am learning.  But, there are many renewed lessons of which I am being reminded as I head back to good health. 

Perhaps the greatest lesson is this… 

“You must find it in your heart to love yourself before you can find yourself worthy of investing in”

I have come to understand that this is no smallish lesson…It is almost as if we think the more we sacrifice our personal selves at the altar of “wife-ing”, childrearing, working, volunteering, the better the person/wife/mom/employee/volunteer we will be.  When, in actuality, it is the opposite of that which is true. 

The Bible speaks of so many instances of caring for ourselves….caring for our bodies, our temples, our souls, and even protecting our hearts. 

There is a reason for that…

You cannot realistically care for and serve others, as God would also call us to do, if you are unable to care for yourself.  It is as if you must role-model to yourself what you must live like so you can share with others.  Sure, you can do many things short-term….and, you will.  But, in the marathon of this life, if you hope to achieve anything long-term, you have to start with yourself and your own personal health – physically, emotionally, spiritually.

 

So, having spent some time re-learning to prioritize my personal self in a humble and realistic way, I am learning how to regain my physical health in a practical and meaningful way. 

It is not easy.  In fact, coming back into good overall health is probably one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do.  And, I have just started.  I still have a long journey to go….

But, this time is different. 

There is a strength of mind-set in a person when he/she knows that change will not occur unless and until you give over your thoughts to the only one who can ultimate bring about real change in your life. 

I prayed hard for God to provide a “paradigm shift” (old term, but still works) in my life to bring me to a season of mental strength, physical health, emotional well-being and spiritual maturity.  I still pray that prayer…”God heal and strengthen me so that I may serve you in healthy and realistic ways”.  Help eliminate those things in my life which will hinder me from my path to you and help me add those things which will bring about a healthy me who is better prepared to serve you.” 

And, He has. 

And, He is. 

Perhaps the most important lesson I have re-learned is this….if I prioritize my spiritual health, my time with Him, my commitment to His will for my life.  If I exercise my Bible study reps, my prayer Zumba, my worship BMI and my service kettle bells, then, maybe I will grow in a strength which enables all other areas of my body to become stronger, more powerful, more healthy. 

More able to endure. 

But, not just to endure.  But, to thrive. 

But, it comes with a price. 

Health, in any form, will not alight itself on my personhood without my seeking it.  It will not come to pass in my life without my personal hard work.  It will not continue unless I commit…

And, commit. 

And, commit. 

And, re-commit. 

And, so……I will.  And, I do. 

Blessings, 

Lesa

 

 

 

 

If It’s Monday, It’s Mom…

 

Finding JOY……”do it” 

You were a sick girl this weekend so you came “home” to rest and recover.  Working full time and going to school full time can be taxing on a girl, but you are doing it and are doing it well.  Ladder and I are proud of you.  Very proud.  It takes a strong and stoic person to do what you are doing…..and, lots of prayers. 

Ladder and I were talking about how we can always tell when you are home…..we enjoy the little reminders of your presence:  the golden ringlets of hair peeking out over the top of the couch as you watch tv, the blue scrubs laying in the laundry to be washed, the smell of angelic sweet perfume as we walk past your bedroom.  The speaker-phone conversations where we have to ask you to “turn it down”, the laughter between you and your brothers (I confess this is an experience which melts my heart….hearing your sweet sibling conversations).  I want you to remember this……they really do hear you.  I love listening to you share your past mistakes and successes.  You authentically share with them so that they will be able to learn from your experiences.  You may not think they hear you, but they do…..and, they love you….and, they are watching you.

 

This weekend was particularly sweet because we were able to witness you fulfilling one of your goals:  to pay off early your car loan.  What a privilege and honor to have witnessed your saving your earnings all these months for this big event.  Then, to watch you count out the cash you had been saving and make that final payment, was a blessing and moment of great pride.  You were so excited and we were excited with you.  Not many 22 year olds own their own car and made 100% of the payments in doing so.  What a great display of discipline and fortitude!  We are proud of you.  What a great example you have given your brothers.  They are proud of you! 

Now, it is my hope that you will continue to save this “car payment” amount and put it into savings so that the next time you need a car, you will have the cash to purchase it outright.  You can do it!!

 Life is all about little opportunities to “do it”.  You can either do positive things which will lead you to a happy, productive life or you can waste your “do it” opportunities on things which cause stumbling and failing.  Most of us live somewhere in the middle…and, I don’t know of a single soul who has it all figured out.  That is okay. 

It is between the desire to “do it” and the actual “doing it” that God can really help us.  When we set out our goals and dreams in front of HIM and ask for His direction, then we can have peace in knowing that He will lead us where it is best we go.  It took me a long time to figure that out.  I spent many years doing what I thought others in my life wanted me to do rather than relying on God’s direction.

Relying on anyone in your life rather than God will always lead to heartache and heartbreak.  But, relying on Him will enable you to handle anything which comes your way…so…

Give yourself over to Him….fully.   

And, in the giving over, you will ultimately find yourself and who you are meant to be….but, remember, it is a journey, one which will not end until you do…so, there will be hills and valleys….that is why God calls us to be joyful in all things.  If you can find joy even in the hardest of times, then when things are not hard, your joy will be unimaginable….

I have been praying for joy to be a significant part of your life….precious, peaceful, exciting joy…strong, enduring, captivating joy…. 

Joy through the hard times…

Joy through the good times…. 

Joy in thanksgiving for where you are….joy in anticipation of where you are going. 

Grateful joy. 

Silly joy. 

Unfettered joy…. 

I sincerely believe that if you can place your hand in His, your head on His shoulder and your faith in His heart….joy will be yours in all times….

And, in the finding of joy through all seasons, you will come to find purpose in your life…. 

Blessings,

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If It’s Friday, Is a Bonafide Write From the Mama Lesa to Johnson

 

My son, Johnson…you was an early rizor…

Coming down to earth like a win prize fighter

Brother comes along and waitin' in the crib

Doctors said, “This one likes it just right where he iz”. 

I always dreamed a blondie would be my boy

Sure’ nuff you came…the real thing, no decoy

Snow white blond globe and real big hands

I knew some day you would really “be the man”. 

Nothing ‘bout you usual, everything a rapp

Words came to you early, you’re a wordsmith, ain't no sapp

Being born the baby, it is no easy task

But, you a great brother even if you did come last. 

From day one, you liked your time “under the lights”

Billirubin count made for lots of time to shine

The Grammy and the Mamaw holding you outside

Waiting for the day your body be all fine. 

Everything you did, you did real fast

Like you ‘fraid to miss something present till it in the past

You tole me early on, “Mom I be a baller”

I take the gym, the baseball field, heck I take the “holler”. 

You growing up so fast, you growing up so mighty

At times I be worried, you might grow up some flighty

But, just ‘bout the time, my soul would give away

Your heart steps in and then the grin…it be a Awesome day! 

I cannot begin to imagine, nor would I dare to try

A life without my golden haired who dresses pretty fly.

You keeps the beat of my Mama’s heart a mighty tripping thing

But, ultimately I know, you really love the King. 

From your very day one, we knew you/ your brother be so sweet

Two gifts at once, all arms and legs and lots and lots of feet

Two little hearts a beating, ten months all side by side

Almost more than a Mom and Dad and Big Sister can ‘abide. 

So here you are at seventeen, you racin’ life real keen

Sports, and friends and driving and even the date scene.

Some folks might be fooled by the tough exterior

But, not your Mam, that’s fo sure….cuz I know your interior. 

A heart as good as gold, a spirit built for living,

A mind as keen as anything, a body built from heaven.

The Master did real fine when He knit you in my womb

He had great plans for you….and, boy you ain’t no ‘foo. 

You’ll ready up yourself in all that needs in learnin’

You’ll grow great strength and courage and things to keep life churnin’

You’ll pick a Godly wife, have some babies might fine

And, I’ll always be so grateful, that God He make you mine. 

Now don’t be sniffling and boo hooing and cutting on some hanky…

No matter how big you get, I can always come with some spanky.

So, make good choices, focus hard on all that’s good and true.

And, all the blessin’s God has in store, will rapp along with you. 

 

 

Blessings,

Mama

 

 

If It's Wednesday, It is a Word from your Mama...to Kenton

If It’s Wednesday, It is a Word from your Mama….

 

“Great Heart, My Son Kenton”

 

Mama’s watch over their children.  You are no exception.  I watched you when you were first born by thirteen minutes before your brother.  They put you in an isolet and I awaited your cry….which did not come immediately.  Concerned, I asked the doctor what was wrong and he said, “he’s waiting…he knows his brother is yet to come.  Wait, once his brother is born, then he will cry.”  And, Dr. Hager was correct.  The minute your brother was born, you cried loud and clear. 

I watched you watch your brother in the isolet while we had to stay because he had jaundice so bad they had to put him under the “lights”.  Your little “trying-to-focus” eyes would search for him next to you.  It was a common occurrence for me to check on you both and you would have your thumb in your brother’s mouth like a pacifier and/or you would have an arm wrapped around him.  These things are truths about you…even as a newborn infant. 

I watched you do things “first” when we were expecting your more active and assertive brother to go first.  You were first to roll over, first to crawl and first to walk.  However, this was not expected because you were so quiet and calm.  It seemed as if your younger brother would do things ahead of you, but he did not. 

While I didn’t watch this happen, this event was relayed to me by your Dad….when you were five, the three of you (dad, brother and you) were at a basketball game.  Your brother was bouncing a basketball as large as was he and he was good!  You were playing several yards away.  A bigger kid (probably 6 or 7) walked over to your brother and tried to take the ball from him.  The big kid was winning until you…..you ran as fast as you can and tackled the big kid, causing him to drop the ball.  Your brother ran over, collected his ball, and started dribbling it again and you went back to your own play.  Like nothing happened.  Like that is what “big” brothers do, even if they are only big by 13 minutes.

There are so many times in your life where you calmly and carefully took control of situations with no fanfare or applause, quietly going about your business of playing and having fun!  I have many of them journaled in your “K” journal…..they are little treasured moments in my heart which I never want to forget. 

From an early age, your strong yet kind heart was evidenced by your behavior, actions and words.  Yours is a heart I prayed diligently for even before you were born….stoic, strong, kind, tender and Godly.

And, while at seventeen, it sometimes gets hidden behind a façade of “being cool” or surviving in a world of teenaged angst, there never is a moment I cannot see is shining through in your actions and behaviors, words and deeds. 

And, I am so very grateful. 

You have a very high sense of right and wrong, bad versus good, Godly versus sinful.  Does that mean you perfectly live as you should?  No, I think we both know better than that.  But, ultimately, at the end of the day, you seem to always revert to the great heart you are and are meant to be.

 Your sense of “fair play”, honest evaluation, taking time to get the bigger picture of individual is a joy to watch develop.  You have a heart which seems to want to “do right” and that speaks volumes.

You are just now “emerging” into the person God intends you to be and it is such a joy to watch.  You are figuring out who you are and what you stand for.  You ask good questions about hard issues in difficult circumstances. 

I don’t know how to word this, but I like watching your heart “at work”…..you make decisions which we are able to view and I am really touched by your sincerity and kindness.  You save hard for a car and yet will loan funds to a friend in need.  You do more than your share on projects, keeping gas in the car and helping me.

You speak sweetly of your “friend who is a girl” and seem to want to “guard” her while she is with you.  I would love to have your sister find a young man to date who is like you.

You are honest.  You tell me when you are angry, hurt and scared.  You are brave.  You hold my hand even in front of your friends and when I express concern, you say, “Mama, I will hold you hand if I want to..I don’t care what they think.”

You are able to focus on others and not live in the self-centered life so many teens do.

You are a forgiver.

You know how to apologize.   

We had a little “argument” the other day about the car and I was very angry at you because you blatantly disobeyed me.  In addition, you said some pretty cruel words to me.  I was crushed because this was not “you”.  But, I was so touched….you came to me, asked if we could talk and sincerely apologized.  You didn’t make excuses.  You simply took responsibility and apologized.  And then you hugged me….hard…..like a son who was truly sorry he had hurt his mother.

And, then…..you said, “Mama, let’s not ever fight again.  I cannot stand ever doing this again.  I don’t want to hurt you like that. Let’s let this be our first…and, our last.”

Makes me tear up just remembering….makes me grateful.

I believe God gives Mamas children to grow Mamas into the Godly women HE intends us to be.  Each beloved child brings to a Mama his/her own gifts, values, heart.  A wise Mama learns from her children much more than she ever can hope to teach them.

I am learning many things from you….most of them about the “heart”….

Blessings, 

Mama

 

 

If It’s Monday, It’s Mama (on time this week) 

Good Morning, Sweet Daughter…. 

It was good to have you home this weekend, to tell you jokes and laugh, to hear you sweetly breathing in your room, to watch you count your savings and make plans for how to spend it, to listen as you tell me about some of your future plans….sweetness all wrapped up in you. 

You are growing…. 

I see growth and maturity in you in so many areas and it makes me proud of you and for you.  I see a growing positivity in your attitude and demeanor.  Where I used to see a “who cares” mentality, or “life sucks” view, I now see a “I care” and a “life is what I make it attitude”. 

I see an appreciation for the life God has given you, an acceptance of mistakes you have made, a repentance and turning away from that life and a growth into a healthier and more committed to God existence. 

I see forgiveness in your heart toward others and boundaries in your decisions on how to live with some.   

I see focus.  Setting goals and accomplishing them.  Graduation in 2014, plans for trips to foreign countries, possible adoption. 

But, most importantly, I see you reaching out to God for direction in all of the above…. 

Do you have it all perfectly figured out?  Oh no, and that is okay.  I am 50 and I still do not.  Grammy and Poppy are in their 70s and they would tell you that even they do not. 

But, the foundation you are building for your life is healing and growing and  becoming stronger each and every day. 

I know there are still areas in your life with which you struggle. They are seen in your facebook posts, your blogs and your words, but even in those, I see maturity….a growing faith that God will guide you in even these things. 

I can make very few promises to you, even as your Mother.  But, there is one promise I can assure you will come to pass… 

When you give your heart, your life, your soul over to God, when you place it in His hands under all circumstances and at all times, then you will have the best life you can possibly have.  Does that mean it will be stress free?  Heartache free? Painless?  Only joy-filled?   

Oh no….it does not mean that at all. 

What it does mean that you will have a life which you will be grateful to have lived…..the one God has for you.

I love it when I get up in the morning from a night when you have worked from 6 pm until 7 am.  Obviously, you have been reading your Bible, because your facebook is filled with Bible verses (and, an occasional quote about men)  LOL.

Precious in His sight are those who study His word. 

I told Ian that you absolutely melted my heart this weekend when you were so overjoyed at finding your favorite, long-lost pink Bible we had bought for you.  I know God had to smile real big at your excitement!  And, it was a privilege to join Him!! 

What a joy and what a blessing for a parent to watch a child grow in Him…..these moments are little treasures a mother carries in her heart forever. 

I love that even with all you have been through, your image of God as a kind and loving Father has remained intact.  To me, that is evidence of a humble heart. 

I pray God bless and bless you in your life with just exactly what you need to live the life God planned for you even before He knit you in my womb.

I pray you continue to build a strong foundation in Him. 

I pray God blanket you with His protection from things which would harm you and lavish you with things which will encourage, inspire and draw you closer to Him. 

Keep seeking God with all of your Heart! 

For HE will never disappoint and will always be your greatest blessing.   

ILYAOYMC,

 Mama

 

Sometimes, You Cannot Do It Alone…

 I am excited.  For a gift to me, Ian has hired a trainer to work with me on my daily lifestyle.  I don’t want to say diet, because I don’t want to diet.  I want to be healthy not live according to a diet plan and I want to do this every day for the rest of my life, not just during a season of dieting.

While I want to lose weight, what I really want more is to be lean and healthy in all ways…physically, mentally and spiritually.  I have the “want to”.  I have the growing discipline.  What I don’t have is the full discipline and the full know how.  Thus, the trainer.

In my initial meeting, I told one of the trainers, “I don’t want to become some fitness beast who is so obsessed with their own physical fitness that all else in their live takes a back seat.  What I want is common sense fitness to grow my body into a healthy form so that I am better able to serve others and to be my best self.”

I believe that our bodies are vessels given to us by God and  the better we care for them, the better able we are to do the work we are called to do.  Thus, having a healthy one, is vital to our lives.

There are obstacles I have in my path to fitness.  Some are very clear to me.  Some are just ideals.  Some are not yet known but will become known as I work toward the direction of better  health.  Ultimately, all of it will require work.

And, truth.

To make a change in any facet of our lives, you have to begin with a foundation of truth. 

As I told my trainer….the image I see in my mirror does not match the image in my heart.  How can we reconcile those two?

She laughed….and, then was serious.

“Sometimes, you cannot.”

I cannot??  Then, why am I here??

Very kindly but very definitively, she said, “sometimes…..you have to let go of the old image and paint a new one.”

She explained, “sometimes in life, when you base your future on what you have seen or done in the past, the image is skewed….and, no matter how hard you try to erase or change the old image, you cannot do it.”  “Sometimes, it is better to paint a new one.  Truly laying down past thoughts and ideas about yourself and growing new, different thoughts.”

It’s like being “re-drawn”.

So, I looked hard at my trainer and said, “please explain yourself.”

And, so she did.  And, it made sense.

And, I saw truth in what she said mainly because she said true change begins with truth with yourself.  That is a “truth” on which both she and I can agree.

She said those who do the best on becoming healthy are those who learn to be firmly honest with themselves.  Honest about where they are currently and honest about how hard they are willing to work to get to where they need to be for a healthy body.

She said “all health begins with full truth”.

But, that is the easiest part.  She said most people can admit that they are unhealthy, unfit, undisciplined.  Some, in fact, brag that they know they are this way and that they will just have to live with themselves because there is nothing they can do to change it.  In the name of “self-acceptance”, they will just have to accept their unhealthy bodies and minds and so will others around them.

They would be wrong.

She said a certain few get past their surface truth, and to the core truth in their lives and make changes which forever impact their lives in a healthy and positive way.

They paint a new picture of themselves.

I am a pretty down-to-earth kind of girl, but this makes sense to me. 

So, part of my goal in working with a trainer is having them assist me in painting a new picture.

Of myself.

One which is truthful in where I am, honest in where I want to be and can be and one which is committed…moment by moment…to being the best self I can be.

And, maybe in doing so, I will get more fit….in all ways.

Bring on the “trainer”…..not just with my physical health but in all aspects of my life.

Oh wait....HE's been there all along.....bring on a better "student" in me!

Blessings,

Lesa