Meeting My Goal is not Without It’s Price 

When I turned fifty last March, I set a goal for myself.  I wanted to be as physically fit as I could be by my next birthday of fifty-one.  I thought it to be a lofty goal, and it has proven to be thus.  But, never did I imagine the price it would cost me if I truly want to succeed in fulfilling it. 

Having spent the first 28 years of my life extremely healthy, lean and exercise committed, I enjoyed a health which seemed natural to my body.  A lean 99 lbs. on my 5’2” frame was actually fairly simple to enjoy and I remained that weight successfully from around 18 until I gave birth to my first child at 28.  I distinctly remembering my Ob/GYN telling me that I would need to gain weight to give my baby food stores to live on during pregnancy and so, you guessed it, eating became my goal.  I did pretty well until month 7 when I became toxemic and gained 35lbs in 2 months.  And, as you can also guess, that weight did not come off easily post birth of my daughter.  I never did get back to my lean weight again.  My mistake.  The next five years included a history of attempting to get pregnant again through many different avenues, all of which sabotaged my ability to lose weight and my desire to fight the fight to regain health.  It did, however, present me with a “deposit in heaven” for which I am ever so grateful (baby Joseph) and a set of twins to capture my heart and add to my precious daughter. 

I say all of that to say this.  Never once during this season of my life did I give serious thought to the depths of “un health” I was allowing my body to “un-achieve”.  Sure, I knew I was not as lean and healthy as I used to be, but I was in denial of how seriously unhealthy I was allowing my overall health to decline. 

I regret this. 

Because now, at 50, it is no simple feat to regain the health I once had.  In fact, I am coming to realize, I cannot regain that same health in the same way.    

So, I am learning to set new goals more realistic to my current age and mind-set. 

I am learning the meaning of terms like lactic acidosis, muscle fatigue and cardio health.  I am learning these things because I have to go through them if I want to regain a healthy weight and health for my current body.

 

I am being reminded that if I ingest unhealthy foods into my body, there will be unhealthy consequences to my body later.  I am learning that if I “splurge” on things I once held dear (such as my beloved tea and chocolate), that I will feel the pain of ridding myself of that in my next workout which will hinder my ultimate goal of personal health. 

I am learning. 

I am learning. 

I am re-learning. 

There are not a lot of “new” things I am learning.  But, there are many renewed lessons of which I am being reminded as I head back to good health. 

Perhaps the greatest lesson is this… 

“You must find it in your heart to love yourself before you can find yourself worthy of investing in”

I have come to understand that this is no smallish lesson…It is almost as if we think the more we sacrifice our personal selves at the altar of “wife-ing”, childrearing, working, volunteering, the better the person/wife/mom/employee/volunteer we will be.  When, in actuality, it is the opposite of that which is true. 

The Bible speaks of so many instances of caring for ourselves….caring for our bodies, our temples, our souls, and even protecting our hearts. 

There is a reason for that…

You cannot realistically care for and serve others, as God would also call us to do, if you are unable to care for yourself.  It is as if you must role-model to yourself what you must live like so you can share with others.  Sure, you can do many things short-term….and, you will.  But, in the marathon of this life, if you hope to achieve anything long-term, you have to start with yourself and your own personal health – physically, emotionally, spiritually.

 

So, having spent some time re-learning to prioritize my personal self in a humble and realistic way, I am learning how to regain my physical health in a practical and meaningful way. 

It is not easy.  In fact, coming back into good overall health is probably one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do.  And, I have just started.  I still have a long journey to go….

But, this time is different. 

There is a strength of mind-set in a person when he/she knows that change will not occur unless and until you give over your thoughts to the only one who can ultimate bring about real change in your life. 

I prayed hard for God to provide a “paradigm shift” (old term, but still works) in my life to bring me to a season of mental strength, physical health, emotional well-being and spiritual maturity.  I still pray that prayer…”God heal and strengthen me so that I may serve you in healthy and realistic ways”.  Help eliminate those things in my life which will hinder me from my path to you and help me add those things which will bring about a healthy me who is better prepared to serve you.” 

And, He has. 

And, He is. 

Perhaps the most important lesson I have re-learned is this….if I prioritize my spiritual health, my time with Him, my commitment to His will for my life.  If I exercise my Bible study reps, my prayer Zumba, my worship BMI and my service kettle bells, then, maybe I will grow in a strength which enables all other areas of my body to become stronger, more powerful, more healthy. 

More able to endure. 

But, not just to endure.  But, to thrive. 

But, it comes with a price. 

Health, in any form, will not alight itself on my personhood without my seeking it.  It will not come to pass in my life without my personal hard work.  It will not continue unless I commit…

And, commit. 

And, commit. 

And, re-commit. 

And, so……I will.  And, I do. 

Blessings, 

Lesa