Special Edition by request, “If It’s Monday…..on Thursday”.

 

The gift of motherhood is one I do not take for granted.  Since I was young, I very much wanted to be not only a mama, but a wonderful, Godly mama.  In my journal from the 1980s, being a Godly mother was the third goal of mine, the first being a Godly woman and the second being a Godly wife.  I was eighteen when I wrote that list. I would not change a thing about it, even after all of these 50 years.  I think you and I both know that I have failed at times in this endeavor, but God does not expect the perfection that we humans expect from one another.  He desires a seeking, striving heart fully given over to Him.  I can promise you, Madison, your Mama has a seeking, striving heart.

Fortunately, I had an extremely Godly mother to raise me.  I always knew she was not perfect, but she was disciplined of heart, soul and mind.  That discipline was/is a direct result of placing God in the center of her woman-hood, wife-hood, mother-hood, sister-hood and all of the other “hoods” a woman wears in her life.  She also challenged me to do the same…. 

I, in return, challenge you to do the same. 

Ian told you in a letter to you awhile back, “don’t follow your Mama or me” because we are human and will fail.  We have told you not to follow friends, relatives, and even the church because all are human and they may fail you when you need them the most.  They are there to nurture, encourage and even reprove you at times, but ultimately the path to Christ is one only God can lead you to and through. 

That is what I pray for you….a direct path to God through Christ. 

But, that means I have to let you go… 

To Him. 

If I grow you up and you do not have a foundation based on Him, then I truly believe I will have failed in my “Mama-mission” to which God called me.  I don’t want to do that. 

I want, when you lay my head down to rest that final time, to know you are ready…you are prepared… 

You are His 

I pray your life is filled with a bouquet of family, friends, co-workers and fellow saints, but I pray that bouquet confidently stands in the vase of Christ…your ultimate foundation. 

This won’t happen unless you do that on purpose… 

With purpose 

For His purpose. 

It is my mother’s job, to try to help you build a strong foundation so that when I am no longer here, it is okay….you won’t need me….you will have HIM. 

I learned this lesson in a very powerful way…..and, it has grown in my heart all these years… 

We had a very sweet family member on your dad’s side whom I absolutely loved.  Sherry was real and authentic and kind.  In her, I found a real friend, one whom I grew to love and respect and admire.  Sherry had excellent work ethic and great tenacity.  She was practical and yet, she had one of the most ferocious (in a GOOD way) hearts I knew.  She was sensitive to the underdog, the weaker person, the struggling heart.  She had high expectation and expected you to as well.  She had strong opinions and most definitely would share them with you, but then, she would turn around and encourage you to express yours.  She was a true friend.

She and I both had daughters around the same age (you and Cousin Logan).  I remember like it was yesterday our last conversation together.  You and Logan wanted to ride your bikes around your Mamaw and Papaw’s Cross Creek neighborhood.  We had just the week before taken off your training wheels and you were a little bit wobbly as you rode around the block following your Cousin, Logan.  Logan, of course, bounded around the circle ninety to nothing because she had experience.  You, of course, tried to follow suit.  It was such a happy moment….two mamas watching their daughters laugh, kick up their feet in the sheer joy one gets from a free spirited bike ride. 

Logan rode way out in front of us….even way past you.  The further she got, the more anxious I got. 

I asked Sherry, “don’t you think you should reign her in?  Make her come back closer to us?” “Aren’t you worried she might fall and hurt herself?” 

And, then Sherry said words which etched on my Mother’s heart even unto this  very day….

She reached over and grabbed my left hand….stopping us from walking and allowing you girls to get even further from us. 

“Lesa…If I don’t let Logan try her wings in front of me where I can help her if she falls, how will she be ready if I am not there some day to catch her?”  “It is my job as her mother to help her get ready.”

In less than two weeks, Sherry was killed in a car crash and I was attending her funeral.

Now, I don’t know if God laid that thought on Sherry’s heart or not.  I don’t know why she had just those words to say to a fearful me, but I was forever changed by what she said to me that day as we walked together. 

And, from that day forward, I have tried to be the kind of Mama who was preparing you….I have not always succeeded in that….but, it is a goal.  I think it is the goal of most Mamas.

 

And, you are making progress in that direction.  I see it daily….I hear it in your words, I see it in your school work, the way you deal with others, your job and even your worship. 

Life is a journey……you will change and grow and “become” your whole life.  You will make good decisions, bad decisions, silly decisions.  You will have great joys and deep sorrows (I pray for protection from those). 

The ONE thing you can count on is Him. 

And, if that is the only lesson from me you ever learn, then I will feel like I have succeeded in the mission God gave me when He allowed me to become your Mama. 

One thing I want you to remember….God’s plans are to prosper us, not to harm us.

Jeremiah 29:11¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This does not mean we won’t have struggles and strifes in our lives.  We will.  But, it does mean that if you are walking toward HIM, He is with you….just like Sherry and I were watching you and Logan, riding along in life and moving ahead….He will be there when you fall….to catch you…..to right you and put you back on your bike. 

Find comfort in that knowledge…

Find peace

Find JOY! 

Our reflection to the world of Christ’s love for us is a great gift we can return to him while we are living…. 

We can make is a dark and despairing one….or we can make it a bright and joyful one. 

The choice is ours 

I pray that you chose JOY!! 

And, I want you to know…..everything you go through is preparing you….for life…..for living….

 For HIM…. 

I just know when He turns to your life….He has to smile. 

So, go …..prepare yourself.  Armor up!! 

“Be strong and courageous and do not be afraid…The Lord goes with you each and ever day.” 

And, for as long as I am blessed to live….I will too. 

 

What a privilege and an Honor it is to be your Mama.....

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

If It's Monday, It's Mama----Friendships over Gifts

If It’s Monday, It’s Mama- Friendships over Gifts

 

Sweet Daughter,

I have been reflecting a lot on your personal character and you displayed something this weekend which to others may not be a big deal, but to me was huge.  You did two things: 

One, you went to a friend’s baby shower without a gift….gasp!!  Most people today would NEVER go to a baby shower or any kind of shower without a baby gift.  They would be too concerned about etiquette and less concerned about the friendship.  You went.  It made me so proud of you and I know your friend would rather you come empty handed than not at all.  And, look at all the fun you had!  The memories you made and the pictures you took are priceless!!

Two, you told your friend the truth.  You told her that you could not afford a gift for the baby at this time but you wanted to support her by attending her shower with your “person”.  How bold and how honest.

You understand at 22 what I did not learn until 48.  “Appearances” for the world’s sake are meaningless.  The world would tell you to stay home and not go be with your friend giftless.  But, you understood that the gift of your friendship is more meaningful to your friend than any monetary item you could purchase. 

I am so proud of your great heart. 

I am even more proud that you told your friend the truth.  She understood.  And, you promised her a gift when you can afford it which she knows you will deliver to her. 

In fact, you invited me to join you and I will. 

This is character of the finest kind…. 

I have to think this makes God smile…..if you can be honest about the little things and attend your friendships with such great care and compassion, then I can only imagine what wonderful things you will do with the big things.

Having said that, I do love it when we plan in advance and prepare and have things done “on time”….because the little detail of planning is also a way you can show others you care about them.  Saving to buy a gift is a Godly discipline.  In this case, this did not apply because you learned of the shower on short notice, but do keep in mind that managing your finances and your gift opportunities is a good thing to aspire to do.

I am just grateful than when there is not time to plan, you take the road of friendship over the road of propriety….

I think in this you will always be the winner!!

 

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

Life is Like a Ball of Yarn...

Life is Like a Ball of Yarn….

The more days I live, the more I begin to feel that rather than a puzzle, pieced together in perfect pattern, albeit in any possible random order, life is more an unraveling and a revealing, rather like a ball of my mother’s left-over yarn, pieced together in un-matched joining and multi-colored mating, to be unwound slowly and revealingly when knitted together in a fine mitten or scarf. 

The truth of the knitting’s color scheme won’t be known until Mama has finished her last knit, pearl, stitch….but, the more the yarn gives way to the needle’s story, the more the final piece is evident.  It is when done, you glimpse the truth of the color of her piece. 

That truth is always rock solid in the center of the yarn-ball, but in the unraveling becomes alive.   

To me, this is much the way of life.  We are little pieces of yarn, fashioned together and knitted from pieces of our family’s skein which is joined together to form the work of art of us.  Mama’s soft pink lacy cut, with Daddy’s navy worsted twist, a part Granny’s fingerling and a length of Grandpa’s bulky weight all joined together to make me.

I have this vision of God and me, sitting together around the fireplace in my kitchen.  I am sitting at the table and God is standing behind me.  We are posed over two extravagantly beautiful knitting needles…my hands up close to the milky white of the ivory needles (mine are ivory not steel) and God’s hands placed over mine in teaching expression. 

We are there to knit my life together.  God shows me how to fashion the yarn on the needles to get started.  We’ve already made our yarn ball and are ready to set the slip knot on the needle.  The slip knot is the foundational knot for the entire piece of me.  Next, we move into the cast phase, which is really the backbone for my entire life.  This cast can be as short or as long as God would choose and as I am gifted.  Once the cast is set and the length determined, then we move to our first knit stitch. 

The casting phase is critical to life because it sets the foundation for all which is to come.  That is why legacy in life is so important.  The stronger our familial heritage, the stronger our cast.  The more aligned and strong and straight our cast, the stronger the base of our whole knitted piece.  The cast is what my family gives to my life….I am the knitted stitches. 

I envision God telling me this as He quietly whispers to me to “stop” at a certain point in my cast.  I don’t want to count the actual casting because then I would know the length of my days…and, it is not that I should know, but rather that I should move to the next phase…knitting the stitches. 

There are several stitches I could choose from, but as a novice, I am directed to the knit stitch.  It is the simplest and easiest to learn….my hand moves back and forth, filling one needle while emptying another.  Quickly, the form of my life grows. 

I am a novice knitter, it is apparent from my alternatingly tight and then lose stitches, but I am assured that over time, I will grow more consistent. 

This knitting takes time.

 

It takes patience. 

Slowly, almost painstakingly, I  form one stitch at a time, feeling awkward and disjointed….I can see the yarn ball unraveling into the work on my needles and the colors start to tell a story…. 

My story 

Told with simple stitches in simple pattern with simple hands using simple needles. 

Then I hear the words, “it is time”… 

Time to learn a new stitch… 

The Purl… 

Both stitches are a part of good knitting, both have a specific purpose.  One is worked at the back of the knitting, one is worked at the front.  Both form unique patterns in a knitter’s piece of work.  When used together, the knit and the purl, that is what forms the lovely patterns of a scarf or a sweater or  

Me 

Knit stitches tend to be smooth and flat.  Purl tend to be bulkier and uplifted.  Like seasons in a person’s life. 

We knit together, God and I, in the quiet of my kitchen.  Back and forth, back and forth….and then it happens.  In what is a simple, modest pattern, a twisted piece is found.

We stop, undo the stitches back to the most recent whole stitch and then start again, error corrected. 

Back and forth, you can hear the clicking of ivory upon ivory…God’s warm hands on mine…

Knitting… 

I don’t know when His hands leave mine…but, after a time, I begin to see knotted, mangled stitches form on my work….large balls of yarn, tight stitches blend with too loose stitches and my knitting….my life is a mess. 

Where are those guiding hands?  The Master knitter’s leading gone, I had not been able to keep the pace of fine knitting. 

He asks me…what do you do now? 

I am frozen….I don’t know.  How do I repair such a mess as this?

“You know what to do….think on it.” He says. 

Slowly, painfully, I undo each ugly stitch taking my work all the way back to the most recent beautiful stitch.  It was a painful undoing…so much work lost.  So hard to start those stitches over. 

“Why did you leave me?” I ask 

“I never left you, I was here. Always by your side…but, you went on without me…never noticing my absent hands…focused on your stitching and not on my leading.”

It’s true.  I did that. 

Grateful I am as He places large, warm hands over mine, giving strength to my re-knitting….stitches back in place, needles making soft noise as we work together on the frame of my life. 

Knitting is not an art of perfection.  It is a part of the Master’s plan.  He does not call us to knit our lives perfectly.  He calls us to keep His hands on ours as we piece together the framework of our lives in the masterpiece He has designed.

My final piece will not be without the evidence of flaws….it will not be of perfect color and evenly matched stitches.  In fact, I am quite certain, it may not even be lovely in the eyes of the world. 

But, my final piece….the blanket of my life….will bear the stitches of one who has tried hard to keep the Master’s hands on hers while the knitting is done… 

And, in God’s eyes, it will be beautiful….I will be beautiful. 

At the end of the day, as my final stitch is cast and I lay my needles down, it is only his eyes which will matter. 

Blessings,

Lesa

 

 

 

A Message From Ladder......

A Message from Ladder….

Snickelbritches, 

Happy Monday!!  I want to share with you a verse which is on my heart, especially in light of last night’s little highway mishap….which, by the way, you handled very well.  The more you are challenged and overcome the challenge, the better and stronger you will be.  I am proud of you!!

 

I Thessalonians 5: 16-18 

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 

This is one of my very favorite verses, from when I was young.  It has carried me through many things and times in my life.  I now share it with you, because I love you.  

I know It’s easy to get down and upset when things don’t go right.  It’s easy to forget to pray when things are going well.  When things don’t go the way you want them to, it’s often hard to be thankful.  But you can always know, God is there; He will never forsake you.  

Remember, God loves you, family loves you, trust in God.  It may not always go the way you want, but trust in God, He will be there.  Turn to him and be thankful always. 

Don’t just do this in the big things….do this in even the little things…like broken windshield wiper blades. 

Yes, God even cares about your wiper blades….because the same God who can count the hairs on your sweet little head can also know how vital it is to have operating windshield wiper blades on a rainy night. 

I love that you called me for help.  I love that you knew you could call. 

I love being your Ladder.  I count it one of my greatest joys…. 

Have a great week and remember….go get them fixed!! 

Love you,

Ladder

 

 

 

 

If It’s Monday, It’s Mama…..

I missed last week.  I didn’t think you noticed until last evening when you asked where your “letter” was and expressed to me that you missed it!  While you are always good to express your thanks, so I know you enjoy my Mama love letters to you…I didn’t realize how much you loved your letters until now…

I have this image in my head of you….a sweet little smiley face all giggles and laughs.  You were such a happy, sweet baby.  I have loved every single moment of being your Mama.  We have been through many things together….you and I….and are bonded strong because of it.  A bond which is forged right deep in the heart where God lives….one which can never be broken, come what may…. 

You have a great heart….one which was evident very early on in your life.  I remember expressing some concern about your stubbornness when you were young and Mrs. Debbie telling me, “Lesa, Madison will be okay…she has a great heart.”  You did then and still do, have such a precious heart.  I am grateful that you do…

Words come quickly to my mind when I think of your heart… 

Godly

Kind

Compassionate

Giving

Forgiving

Strong

Bold

Daring

Tender

Lovely

Courageous

Sympathetic

Empathetic

Generous 

And, the list could go on and on… 

I think what I love most about your heart is that while you have many reasons for it to be broken…you CHOOSE to not be.  You give it over daily to God for Him to heal, and nurture and grow. 

I cannot help but think when God looks at your heart, He smiles….. 

And, now I watch you prepare your heart to be a giver….to give back to this life in service and in Jesus’ name… 

You are building a foundation on service…on work….on ministry….which I cannot wait to see blossom and bloom. 

And, I think you will have a great ministry in this life.  You seem to draw to you those who hurt and are broken.  Those for whom life is not always a great joy.  I hear you speak to your friends encouraging them to work for better….to walk toward God. 

I see you non-judgmentally befriend others whom the world would turn away. 

I have heard you share your own life circumstances with authenticity and truth so that they can know that there is HOPE… 

I listen and watch as you go to church….sometimes, even alone….. 

And, I am so grateful. 

What a privilege and honor to have you for my daughter.  To watch you grow and be and become… 

God’s Girl… 

A woman who, admittedly not perfect, uses her life to share with others so that when they look at you, they can see a heart… 

A sweet heart…

A lovely heart… 

A heart who loves God.

 

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

When We Give God Control….

I am, well….used to be a “problem fixer”.  Even as a little girl, I could not stand anyone to be upset. Whether they were mad, sad, angry or hurt, if someone was any of those things, I wanted to “fix” it…help them….make them smile.

As a young wife, I could not stand the thought of my husband ever being “out of sorts” in any way and would go to great lengths to right his life, no matter what the cost.  As a young mother, I sacrificed much for the “betterment of my children”, even to a fault, even to the point of spoiling them.

I had great fear.  Many fears.  Deep fears which caused me to think this way. 

I don’t totally understand why I was this way….some people like turmoil in their life.  I do not.  Rather than knowing “when to hold them, or when to fold them”, I would hang in there trying my darndest to “make it right”, to keep the peace. 

In my mind, if someone was upset, then it had to be my fault in some way….I have no clue where that thought came from, but I am beginning to…. 

A friend of mine has written a book, “No More Christian Nice Girl” which addresses just this issue.  I think we somehow believe that to be a good, Christian woman, we are to sacrifice our souls at the altar of self.   

The bad news for me was, that because I could never solve everyone’s problems, make everyone better, take away another’s pain, that I felt like I lived in constant failure.

A person cannot live and thrive in a state of constant failure…. 

A person dies in constant failure. 

Or, they take other paths…..distancing themselves, becoming mean so as to shelter their soul, living in a state of fake-ness with a pasted on smile and a “having the time of my life” attitude. 

But, this is not a way to live. 

And, it is not a Godly way to be. 

God calls us to live authentically….as Christ did.

God calls us to live in truth…because the truth shall set you free.

God calls us to live in service…because by serving, you grow personally. 

I have learned that God does not call me, nor do I have the ability or maturity to fix the problems of those around me.  But, I can and do have the responsibility to not be a part of the problem.  This is not as easy as it may sound.  Sometimes, we are a problem to others even though in our own hearts, we don’t mean to be or even know we are or how we got there.  Some relationships we just cannot fix.   

This is painful knowledge.   

This is the beginning of surrendering our lives to God, who CAN fix. 

And, I am growing in my realization that this is what God requires of us.  A wholly, fully giving over all aspects of our lives to HIM.   When we truly give over our lives to God, we fully can give over the hurts in our lives.  I am learning that the more I surrender my life..in big and small things to Him…the more I can surrender my soul to Him.

God is a God of freedom….and peace….and joy….and love.

We cannot have those things if we rely on ourselves or on human-kind.  It takes a Holiness of spirit which only God can provide. 

Only God can heal the blind, give hearing to the deaf and cause the cripple to walk….only God can mend a broken heart, heal a failed friendship, bind together a broken union.

What I do think it requires of us is a desiring heart….the more we give over our lives to Him, our hopes, our fears, our anxieties, our heartaches and ASK Him to help us….to heal us…to change us…the more He is able to do with us.

When we give over our lives to HIM, he works in us to strengthen us within ourselves.  The stronger we are ourselves, the more we can shine for Him.  The more we shine for Him, the stronger becomes our faith in Him.  The stronger our faith in Him, the more we surrender our lives to Him.

At fifty, I understand one thing very clearly….

Without God, I am nothing.  

WITH God, I am everything.   

It took me all these years to be able to say those words which I used to think were arrogantly pious…

WITH GOD I am everything….. 

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  Philippians 4:13

 And, while I still may not be able to “fix” things, solve the world’s problems, change a person’s heart, or mend things broken…. 

HE can.

What a gift in storing that knowledge in my heart….I don’t have to take on things I cannot control. 

God already has control. 

And, He already claims me as worthy. 

I can let go….and, walk…..toward Him constantly giving over to Him my life…and, He, in His great compassion and love, will make use of my life in a way which gives it fullness and meaning if I but seek Him with all of my heart.

That is His price….seeking Him with all of my heart…. 

That, I can do…. 

Blessings,

Lesa

If It’s Monday, It’s Mama… 

Thanks for coming home this weekend.  It was fun to spend time with you…take in a movie and generally be in your presence.  The tinkling of your laughter fills up our home when you are there….and, it brings smiles to our faces.

There are a few things I am grateful for this week with regards to you… 

One, you are working on being your “best you”.  I know you are not in love with that saying, but I am not sure how else to put it.  You are striving to grow in all ways…and, we can tell.   

You are working to be a Godly woman thus the Bible study, scripture search, worship and music you listen to.

You are working to be a good daughter, thus the acknowledgement…well somewhat acknowledgement of when you need to do things differently in order to be respectful.  Your willingness to make things right.  Your doing things honorably up front.

You are working to be a good sister, thus the conversations with your brothers.  You encourage them to think through their actions, make good decisions and wise choices.  I am humbled that you even are willing to share in your own mistakes.  God loves a humble heart and rewards integrity and honesty.

You are working to be a good student, thus the may hours of study for just one test.  The commitment to getting help when you need it.  The understanding that this IS important.

You are working to be a good friend, thus the attempt to continually support and encourage your friends, to be there in good times and bad.

You are working to be a good future wife, mother, daughter in law, thus the efforts to do all of the above… 

You are striving to be a wonderful Child of HIS…..giving over and over again your life to God.  I watch…I see your struggles with eyes and heart that only your God-given mother can see…and I am so humbled….so grateful…..that you are my daughter.  I see your strength as you pull from God’s love for you….

All God really wants is what you are striving to give….your whole heart….your love….

 All God asks is that we not grow weary….keep the faith….seek Him first.

 If I can see you doing these things…..

I can only imagine what beautiful treasures He sees in you….He who knit you so beautifully.

I love you….as only your Mama can….

Mama…

 

Of Special Note on this anniversary of Beth Morris’ birthday….I have to add this because I know if Beth were here, she would insist….I sincerely think Beth would be proud of her name-sake.  You have so many traits in common…your simple way of looking at things, your compassion for others, your boy-craziness (lol), your tender heart.  Beth, too, loved children and wanted a passel.  She loved pretty nails and colorful things.  Her prom dress was like a bouquet of flowers.  She laughed so hard she snorted just like you do.  But, most importantly…she loved.  She loved hard….she loved true.  She loved God….and she loved others.  And, while I don’t think I have ever shared your similarities too often before, because I wanted you to be you, not an image of Beth, as I watch you grow and mature, I see a lot of her in you….and, I know….she would be proud of you…and, she would remind you, “it’ll be alright”….and, to “turn that frown upside down…into a smile”.   She would adore you….as do I.

 

 

 

Meeting My Goal is not Without It’s Price 

When I turned fifty last March, I set a goal for myself.  I wanted to be as physically fit as I could be by my next birthday of fifty-one.  I thought it to be a lofty goal, and it has proven to be thus.  But, never did I imagine the price it would cost me if I truly want to succeed in fulfilling it. 

Having spent the first 28 years of my life extremely healthy, lean and exercise committed, I enjoyed a health which seemed natural to my body.  A lean 99 lbs. on my 5’2” frame was actually fairly simple to enjoy and I remained that weight successfully from around 18 until I gave birth to my first child at 28.  I distinctly remembering my Ob/GYN telling me that I would need to gain weight to give my baby food stores to live on during pregnancy and so, you guessed it, eating became my goal.  I did pretty well until month 7 when I became toxemic and gained 35lbs in 2 months.  And, as you can also guess, that weight did not come off easily post birth of my daughter.  I never did get back to my lean weight again.  My mistake.  The next five years included a history of attempting to get pregnant again through many different avenues, all of which sabotaged my ability to lose weight and my desire to fight the fight to regain health.  It did, however, present me with a “deposit in heaven” for which I am ever so grateful (baby Joseph) and a set of twins to capture my heart and add to my precious daughter. 

I say all of that to say this.  Never once during this season of my life did I give serious thought to the depths of “un health” I was allowing my body to “un-achieve”.  Sure, I knew I was not as lean and healthy as I used to be, but I was in denial of how seriously unhealthy I was allowing my overall health to decline. 

I regret this. 

Because now, at 50, it is no simple feat to regain the health I once had.  In fact, I am coming to realize, I cannot regain that same health in the same way.    

So, I am learning to set new goals more realistic to my current age and mind-set. 

I am learning the meaning of terms like lactic acidosis, muscle fatigue and cardio health.  I am learning these things because I have to go through them if I want to regain a healthy weight and health for my current body.

 

I am being reminded that if I ingest unhealthy foods into my body, there will be unhealthy consequences to my body later.  I am learning that if I “splurge” on things I once held dear (such as my beloved tea and chocolate), that I will feel the pain of ridding myself of that in my next workout which will hinder my ultimate goal of personal health. 

I am learning. 

I am learning. 

I am re-learning. 

There are not a lot of “new” things I am learning.  But, there are many renewed lessons of which I am being reminded as I head back to good health. 

Perhaps the greatest lesson is this… 

“You must find it in your heart to love yourself before you can find yourself worthy of investing in”

I have come to understand that this is no smallish lesson…It is almost as if we think the more we sacrifice our personal selves at the altar of “wife-ing”, childrearing, working, volunteering, the better the person/wife/mom/employee/volunteer we will be.  When, in actuality, it is the opposite of that which is true. 

The Bible speaks of so many instances of caring for ourselves….caring for our bodies, our temples, our souls, and even protecting our hearts. 

There is a reason for that…

You cannot realistically care for and serve others, as God would also call us to do, if you are unable to care for yourself.  It is as if you must role-model to yourself what you must live like so you can share with others.  Sure, you can do many things short-term….and, you will.  But, in the marathon of this life, if you hope to achieve anything long-term, you have to start with yourself and your own personal health – physically, emotionally, spiritually.

 

So, having spent some time re-learning to prioritize my personal self in a humble and realistic way, I am learning how to regain my physical health in a practical and meaningful way. 

It is not easy.  In fact, coming back into good overall health is probably one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do.  And, I have just started.  I still have a long journey to go….

But, this time is different. 

There is a strength of mind-set in a person when he/she knows that change will not occur unless and until you give over your thoughts to the only one who can ultimate bring about real change in your life. 

I prayed hard for God to provide a “paradigm shift” (old term, but still works) in my life to bring me to a season of mental strength, physical health, emotional well-being and spiritual maturity.  I still pray that prayer…”God heal and strengthen me so that I may serve you in healthy and realistic ways”.  Help eliminate those things in my life which will hinder me from my path to you and help me add those things which will bring about a healthy me who is better prepared to serve you.” 

And, He has. 

And, He is. 

Perhaps the most important lesson I have re-learned is this….if I prioritize my spiritual health, my time with Him, my commitment to His will for my life.  If I exercise my Bible study reps, my prayer Zumba, my worship BMI and my service kettle bells, then, maybe I will grow in a strength which enables all other areas of my body to become stronger, more powerful, more healthy. 

More able to endure. 

But, not just to endure.  But, to thrive. 

But, it comes with a price. 

Health, in any form, will not alight itself on my personhood without my seeking it.  It will not come to pass in my life without my personal hard work.  It will not continue unless I commit…

And, commit. 

And, commit. 

And, re-commit. 

And, so……I will.  And, I do. 

Blessings, 

Lesa

 

 

 

 

If It’s Monday, It’s Mom…

 

Finding JOY……”do it” 

You were a sick girl this weekend so you came “home” to rest and recover.  Working full time and going to school full time can be taxing on a girl, but you are doing it and are doing it well.  Ladder and I are proud of you.  Very proud.  It takes a strong and stoic person to do what you are doing…..and, lots of prayers. 

Ladder and I were talking about how we can always tell when you are home…..we enjoy the little reminders of your presence:  the golden ringlets of hair peeking out over the top of the couch as you watch tv, the blue scrubs laying in the laundry to be washed, the smell of angelic sweet perfume as we walk past your bedroom.  The speaker-phone conversations where we have to ask you to “turn it down”, the laughter between you and your brothers (I confess this is an experience which melts my heart….hearing your sweet sibling conversations).  I want you to remember this……they really do hear you.  I love listening to you share your past mistakes and successes.  You authentically share with them so that they will be able to learn from your experiences.  You may not think they hear you, but they do…..and, they love you….and, they are watching you.

 

This weekend was particularly sweet because we were able to witness you fulfilling one of your goals:  to pay off early your car loan.  What a privilege and honor to have witnessed your saving your earnings all these months for this big event.  Then, to watch you count out the cash you had been saving and make that final payment, was a blessing and moment of great pride.  You were so excited and we were excited with you.  Not many 22 year olds own their own car and made 100% of the payments in doing so.  What a great display of discipline and fortitude!  We are proud of you.  What a great example you have given your brothers.  They are proud of you! 

Now, it is my hope that you will continue to save this “car payment” amount and put it into savings so that the next time you need a car, you will have the cash to purchase it outright.  You can do it!!

 Life is all about little opportunities to “do it”.  You can either do positive things which will lead you to a happy, productive life or you can waste your “do it” opportunities on things which cause stumbling and failing.  Most of us live somewhere in the middle…and, I don’t know of a single soul who has it all figured out.  That is okay. 

It is between the desire to “do it” and the actual “doing it” that God can really help us.  When we set out our goals and dreams in front of HIM and ask for His direction, then we can have peace in knowing that He will lead us where it is best we go.  It took me a long time to figure that out.  I spent many years doing what I thought others in my life wanted me to do rather than relying on God’s direction.

Relying on anyone in your life rather than God will always lead to heartache and heartbreak.  But, relying on Him will enable you to handle anything which comes your way…so…

Give yourself over to Him….fully.   

And, in the giving over, you will ultimately find yourself and who you are meant to be….but, remember, it is a journey, one which will not end until you do…so, there will be hills and valleys….that is why God calls us to be joyful in all things.  If you can find joy even in the hardest of times, then when things are not hard, your joy will be unimaginable….

I have been praying for joy to be a significant part of your life….precious, peaceful, exciting joy…strong, enduring, captivating joy…. 

Joy through the hard times…

Joy through the good times…. 

Joy in thanksgiving for where you are….joy in anticipation of where you are going. 

Grateful joy. 

Silly joy. 

Unfettered joy…. 

I sincerely believe that if you can place your hand in His, your head on His shoulder and your faith in His heart….joy will be yours in all times….

And, in the finding of joy through all seasons, you will come to find purpose in your life…. 

Blessings,

ILYAOYMC,

Mama