Today I realized I Had Stopped Holding My Breath …..

As I walked our puppy, Doc, around the block today, I realized that I could feel myself breathing again.  Not the kind of breaths you give when your physician says to “give me a few good breaths” nor that kind which you feel when you lay your hand on the chest of your child to see if he/she is still alive, but rather, that kind of breath when you know you are present in the moment God calls you to be…..

I do not remember when I started holding my breath….I did not do it consciously

I did not realize the holding, until that moment I could feel it’s release…

But, today, as I took that stroll, I could feel it

Chest rising and falling…..

Keeping pace with ……

Nothing

Right in the moment God would have me to be

It was not me who realized I had been holding my breath and had now found its release, but rather, a new friend of mine….

He whispered in the quiet of my sanctuary, “I want what you have”

“And, what is it you think I have?” I asked

“Peace.”

I confess, his words caught me off guard, but in considering our conversation later, I realized the truth of his words..

I have found peace

“not as the world giveth” because honestly, there is very little peace to be found in this world

But, I have found that peace “which passes all understanding”

Which comes from our ultimate peace-giver

And, that is what I asked him….

“Are you a man of faith?” just for clarification, because he had shared earlier that he was…

“That is where my peace comes from….faith…in Him”

And, today, as Doc and I walked and talked that silly talk you do with your new puppy, I realized that I am in that sweet spot of life where your recent trials are momentarily behind you and your future lies awaiting God’s leading….

In counseling, we call that “mindfulness” or “being present in the moment” 

Where you are who you are, where you are, when you are…..

And, that is a very healthy place to be

The difference for me is that I know in this thing we call life, peace will ebb and flow if we define it by our moods, or emotions, or thoughts

But, I think what my new friend found in me is that realization is that my peace does not come from this world, but rather, from the one who made this world

God

Jesus

The Holy Spirit

And, somehow, that came across in my spirit in a way my friend could see….

I have had the privilege of “having my mettle tested” much in this life.  Some of it brought on by my own human sinfulness, some of it brought on by sheer chance or misfortune, all under the providence, supervision, and at times, by the direct hand of God

But, none of it wasted…..

For I realize that every single moment of our life, just like the hairs on our head, are accounted for…with the same tender, extravagant love from a heavenly Father who wants us to find our personal peace

 

In Him

So that when good times nod their head in our direction, we give Him praise

And, when trials come and bring us to our knees, we shout His name in thanksgiving

And, especially when we are sailing on the seas of calm and peace, as I am today, that we don’t forget to feel His presence

To call on His name

To spend this time with grateful heart

Knowing that peace is not a place we should aspire to ascertain

But, rather, a choice of soul and spirit

Where we chose to place our heart

Into the Hands

Of the very one who gave us breath….

And, in that, our job is to let go.

Blessings,

Lesa