August 23, 2014

Before the boys left for Basic Military Training, BMT, in San Antonio, Texas, the five of our little family got together for dinner and playing games, Rummy and Phase 10.  I had to boys go with me to Kroger to let them pick out a cake and to pick up a few things, savoring every little second with them….normally, not ones to want to go grocery shopping with their Mama, they seemed especially interested in going with me….possibly they wanted  my presence as well?

Since Kroger didn't have a Red Velvet Cake, their favorite, they decided to get a Chocolate Chip Cookie and had it decorated.  Johnson was intent on having it say, "Happy Birthday, Johnskin".  I encouraged him to have written, Congratulations, or Bon Voyage or something like that…you know…but my sage son said, "Mama, we gotta have the pink flower because it's a happy flower, we have to say Happy Birthday, because this will be our birth into the Air Guard."  Okay, I said….but, shouldn't you add Kenton's name?

And…Johnson said, "Mama, "Johnskin" is Kenton's name…and, it's my name.  Can't you see?  It's joined together to be one name.  Just like us.

Now, that may not seem like a big deal to you readers, but to this mother's heart, that spoke volumes.

My sons always got along very well when they were younger.  So much so, that it was common to have people talk about how well they got along.  Often, my friends with twins would say they wished their twin children got along as well.  Then, sometime around 12-13, that changed…..competition and peer pressure entered their lives and tried to pull them apart.  People compared them with one another always leaving one or the other short.  One grew taller and larger while the other remained smaller and shorter.  One's hair grew lighter and the others grew darker.  Outsiders…"friends" and even a few foolish family members made comments about their differences and not in a positive way.

And, my boys listened.

My mantra became, "be who God intended you to be", "be yourself" but a mama's words can get drowned in a world where others yell and scream and influence.

Then, around 15 and 1/2, things began to change.  Our lives were in upheaval and we had a choice…bind together or grow apart.  We chose to bind together…..

And, from around 15 1/2, things began to change…..I'm not going to lie and say their relationship was perfect.  It was not.  They still fought over clothes, friends, and finding their own way.  They still competed to see who got their driver's license first and who could date the cutest girl.  

But, their bond was there and it was growing….there was less fighting over the bathroom in the morning and who had to get in the shower first.  I could often hear them as they got ready for school asking if they could borrow a shirt or a pair of shoes.  One invited the other to ride with him to get their hair cut.

I lay in bed at night (okay…ad midnight) and listened in as they cooked a midnight snack and gave each other advice on how to handle women, sports and friends.

At times, their sister would come in from a date and join them.  My three, sitting on our leather couch laughing and listening and being together.

It was so tempting to sneak down the stairs to join them, and on occasion, I did that, getting up with Ian to make "Macgoo" sandwiches and the five of us would be a family together.  But, most times, I stayed in my bed and listened….

Not a few times, tears found their way down my cheek…..this comraderie, this being together, this frank love for one another which they didn't say in words as much as they said in actions was a gift to my mother's heart.

A mother's greatest prayer is that her children have a relationship with God in the fabric of their being and that her children love one another.

When they are little, it is so easy to see their love….they say it in words, they write it in cards, they hug one another, pick up one another, encourage one another.  But, as they get older, life tries to pull a mother's children apart….it can be painful to watch.  

My children and I have talked a lot about sticking together through thick or thin…being there for one another at all costs.  We spoke often that hardships in life can either break you or make you stronger both individually and as a family.

I always asked…prayed…and, at times, begged, "Please let your challenges draw you closer and stronger"

And, so when Johnson insisted on Happy Birthday, Johnskin…..it broke my heart in the sweetest of ways.

He….Kenton….and, their sister…..they chose strength and bonding and love for one another

#2 on my Mother's bucket list for my children…..

And, as I write, Kenton and Johnson are once again working together within the Kentucky Air National Guard….different dorms, different squadrons, but same opportunities.  And, my prayer is that they are able to quietly, with just a glance, remind one another when they cross paths that they are always there for each other.

John…skin

Johnson…..Kenton

Bound forever through flesh and blood and choice

Blessings,

Lesa