April 28, 2008 –April 28, 2013

“The salvation of man is through love and in love.  I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment….”   Viktor E. Frankl

 I understood from a very early age that this life is just a journey.  I grasped that each day was a gift given to us by God and for us to use and enjoy as we could until that time came where we would be no more.  For some, the journey would last many, many years and cover many, many miles of life.  For others, the journey would be oh way too brief and last merely days or even weeks.  And even for some, their journey would being with the beating of their heart and end with its stopping, never even reaching their earthly birth, but heading straight home to heaven.

But, for all of us, it is a journey we are one…

What I did not realize at a very early age is the purpose of this journey.

To live a life which reflects back to this world the glory of God.  That our actions, our words, our decisions, our aspirations, our jobs, our parenting, our play, our singing, our worship, our intimate time with ourselves all be time spent reflecting to the world….the GLORY of God.

I know that now.  I do.  I get it.  I understand it.  I strive to live in that way.

I fail not just a little….I fail a lot in my strivings.

But, what I do understand now is that while man may hold you down and pin your every foilable, every weary moment, every sin on your life, God does not.

God walks beside you…..He holds your hand…..

He believes in you

He loves you

And, in that intimate, deep seated, strong and mighty love, you can live….you can breathe, you can aspire to be that reflection of Him in a way which “makes all the difference”….

And, that is my goal for however long the balance of my days are on this earth…

To love…in Jesus’ name

The simplicity of that overwhelms the soul and speaks to my spirit…..

It IS his greatest command…..

I pray to obey….

But, the journey to my getting to this understanding has been 51 years in the making and has come at great earthly cost through many painful decisions and life lessons.  I am grateful for each and every one…for, they have brought me to my knees

And, closer to Him.

Five years ago today, I started on one of those “life changing” journeys…..five years ago today I was officially diagnosed with breast cancer…

Words from a doctor-friend that forever changed my life and my legacy….

“The bad news is, you have breast cancer.”  “The good news is is that it is very early stage, highly curable and fairly easy to treat….God willing”.

I had always heard that when you get that “C” diagnosis, your life is forever changed….IT IS TRUE

It was as if the truths of my life flashed before my eyes.

I was…I am forever changed by that diagnosis…..

And so, my journey toward wellness began

Not just wellness of physical body…but wellness of heart, of mind, of soul

I made no bargains with God.  I simply told Him, “Where you lead me, I will follow”, but I did ask Him….”please make my life not be a waste.  Please give it purpose.  Please make it real.  Please grow in me a heart for you.”

And, as God is so precious to do…..He did, He has, He will….

He uses all of me…the good, the obedient, the tender and the real.  He uses the bad, the disobedient, the hard and the fake.

He has dropped me past my knees and onto my face….

He has given life to the words, “When you get to the bottom of yourself, you get to the beginning of God”….

Until I begged Him for a new heart….

And, even in that, He has been generous…

“I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you.  I’ll remove the stone heart from your body and replace it with a heart that’s God-willed, not self-willed.  I’ll put MY SPIRIT in you and make it possible for you to do what I tell you and live by my commandments.”  Ezekiel 36:26-27

Breast cancer was life-changing for me.  Some of it good.   Some of it very painful.

But, none of it wasted.

I am forever changed by my journey through it....

I don’t know what God has in store for me for the balance of my days….I don’t  even know how many more days He will allow me to spend on this earth…

But, I do know that I am loved

And, I do know that I love

I do understand that God uses all of me, the good and the bad, for His glory, in His way, in His time

I do understand that while this world is not my home and that I am just “a passing through”….

I can be HIS while I am here…. 

Blessings,

Lesa