A Mama Moment…                                    March 23, 2013

            With my children, Madison, Kenton & Johnson

I write for my children…it is my legacy to them.  I post my writings for my daughter and sons and those who love me and have asked me to share….I write so that I can put my thoughts into print and draft a small family book, so, its to these people I share…. 

When I was going through counseling as a part of a divorce I was sad to walk through and did not desire but felt compelled to complete, a much beloved Christian sister, counselor gave me this advice:“Live in truth, Lesa….chose this day to spend the rest of your life living for God and tell the truth in the living because this is God’s promise to you today….”   

“If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples, then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32

I learned that God can heal all things….but, sometimes, we cannot, in our imperfect humanity. 

God bless her for that loving sharing of God’s will for my life.  It has made all the difference in my life.  It has allowed me to forgive myself....and others. 

What I committed to then was to from that day until I breathe my last, to live in truth and my children and I adopted this saying, “better the ugly truth than a pretty lie”. 

As I have written previously, because of this, I know things about my children and they of me which are ugly, un-beautiful, un-Godly and down right heart-breaking.  Fortunately, these knowings are non-voluminous. Do we do this messy sharing daily and immerse ourselves?  No, we do not. But, do we live in this truth…yes, we do (as far as I know and parents all know...there may be things to come.)

So, as I have shared “A Mama Moment” of happy events, I wanted to share “A Mama Moment” of not so happy events….

 

I don’t plan to elaborate the details…that would be improper and not appropriate… 

But, I share this Mama Moment…because it is not a white picket fence which surrounds our home.  It is a fence with broken boards and even a few broken posts.

I am not a perfect mother.  I do not have a perfect life.  My husband is not perfect.  My children are not perfect.  Our home is not perfect. My legacy to my family is not perfect.

We had “Mama Moments” this week which stretched the limits of my patience, my Godliness and my love.  We said things we did not mean, heard things we did not want to hear and felt things which we did not want to feel. 

I hit my knees hard this week….

I doubted my parenting skills… 

I struggled with what felt like non-answers to prayers from a God whom I know hears me. 

As I write this, I struggle in knowing how to discipline a child who is being disrespectful, how to encourage a child who is seeking to make significant changes in her life and with a child who is questioning the Christianity of those with whom he is surrounded. 

It is painful. 

It is LIFE….. 

The difference I now have in my life is that I now know this with absolute clarity. 

My parents can pray for me, my siblings can encourage me, my church families can pray for me… 

BUT, only GOD can truly help me…

And, even then, He expects me to SEEK Him. 

So, that is what I do this morning….. I confess my weaknesses as a Christian woman, wife, mother, daughter, sibling….friend. And, I take my self, and my struggles and my worries and my brokenness to HIM 

And it is in the so-doing that I find peace 

Peace that passeth all understanding….which only God can provide. 

So, there it is…..A Mama Moment, not so lovely, but yet, so truthful. 

Pray for our family….and, we will pray for yours…. 

A Mama Moment…..May God bless each and everyone….