To Everything There is a Season

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

A time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

A time to keep and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;

A time for war and a time for peace.

I made a mistake today.

And, I am so sorry.

I was ready to speak with someone, I needed to speak with someone, I had to speak with that someone,

So, I did…..

But, it did not go well.

This is a person…the one person with whom I have had a very intimate relationship for the longest in my life, but no more.

The one I used to share many of my inner most  thoughts, feelings, fears…

I was ready to talk.  I have been preparing and readying myself for this ability to talk for over a year year….I had made my peace, said my prayers, sought His wisdom and prepared.

As a warrior who goes into battle, I have battled to strengthen my resolve, my spirit, my heart.

For talking with this person has long cut at my soul and so,

I counseled prior to speaking to this person, made a list of what needed to be discussed and prepared in every way I knew how.

But, what I didn’t fully take into consideration was that even though this person said they were ready to speak as well, they were not.

God tells us there is “A Time for Everything”….and, a season for every activity under the heavens…

But for this person, that time was not yet….

So, while my healing and brokenness has scabbed over into a manageable scar, this was not the case for both of us.

I sat there listening to the hurt, and anger and scorching words come out of a mouth which I no longer recognized.

And, a little piece of me died.

For, I should have known.  They were not ready.

Their time had not yet come, and I realized as I sat there, it may never come.

That does not make me good and them bad.  Or, vice versa.

God calls us to recognize there is a time for everything – to be born to plan to heal to build

To laugh to dance to bind to embrace to search to keep to mend to speak to love to seek peace

BUT, He also tells us there is a season to die to uproot to kill to tear down to weep to mourn to scatter stones

To refrain from embracing to give up to throw away to tear to be silent to hate and to go to war

God understands that life is a process of healing…we are constantly healing from something

Either we are healing from growing in Him….growing with Him…growing toward Him, a soulful healing…toward God

Or we are healing because of life….with life…through life….a broken kind of healing …..by ourselves

I think God gives us permission to understand that life is full of seasons for a reason….and, that just as sadness can pull us into darkness, joy can draw us into His Holy light…

I also believe God calls us to listen to Him…to be still….

For it is in this stillness that we can step ourselves back and others forward….to let go of selfishness and to gather close compassion.

I missed the mark today.

Because while I have grown into a season of healing and forgiveness and compassion, I had not taken into consideration that the other person had not

And, that that is okay….

God does not call us to be cookie cutters of one another,

He allows each of us to grow in our own time, at our own pace, into that person HE wants us to become

I made a mistake today, but this time, my mistake was made with a right and trying heart.

I am learning.

And, as God pulls me up and out and forward, I pray I never forget the seasons He has walked me through…painful as they have been, they have broken my heart and drawn me closer to a Father who promises that just as earthly seasons come and go, so this season, too, will pass and I will walk more humbly, more tender, more compassionate and more grateful….

Blessings,

Lesa