Striving to be His....

Striving to be “His”…

Gone am I and my family for the amount of time it takes to travel to daughter Madison’s college, deposit her belongings, fix up her room, hang her clothes….and traverse back homeward… 

On its surface it was just another busy, time consuming day filled with laughter, fatigue, a little anxiety and much gratefulness…but, in the soul, where things matter big, it was a huge day… 

Made so because, as if in   s  l  o  w   M  o  t  i  o  n, I could see life happening in my child’s life. 

I saw her walk all woman-like into her dorm and secure the home she would have these next nine months at her chosen place of higher education.  She looked over to me waiting to see if I would take over.  But, before I could decline, she stepped forward and took charge. 

Of her life. 

And, I sat….and watched.  Mother love suspended over her like rainbows of light over an earth of green in a sky of true blue, humble gratefulness settled over me that daughter has arrived to this day. 

It is the little things I notice much these days… 

The way she places hand over her mouth when tickled at something funny, the silly face she makes when anxious and the tear-pooled eyes when she is uncertain how to travel forward.

But, I am noticing newness in her behavior which had not been there yesterday. 

She no longer waits on me to encourage her to move ahead…she moves ahead, looks my direction, then moved in the way she has chosen…more confident and certain because she is grounded.

 In Him.

 Perfection in daily behavior, thought and deed is not a goal to ever be achieved because we are all but human vessels without capacity to be perfect, but in my child I witness front row a striving… 

To be “God’s girl” 

Even when she is uncertain what exactly that means; even when she reviews a past of not being “God’s girl; even when she sees brothers and sisters, teachers, leaders, family not being “God’s”. 

She tells me her heart’s desire is to be a hand-holder through this life… 

A Hand Holder…

 

Of family, of friends, of new ones who come into her life.  Of lost souls who travel her path, of patients she cares for at a place where not many would dare to work.   

And, deep in the place of my soul where pride would live if it were a Godly thing, I place gratefulness… 

For in the heart of my student-daughter,

As I leave her at college today.. 

I see a lamb…who, as God has promised…was gathered back into the fold.. 

And, in her heart….her precious, tender, gentle yet strong heart, I am witness… 

To Him….to the goodness of a God who knows each of us by name, loves to brush each hair on our head so he can count them…who knew us before we came to the here and now, when we were just a promise of heaven’s sweetest gifts… 

And I am indebted….in a holy indebtedness to God….who makes children so pure and lovely and wonderful that a mother’s whole soul is filled with joy that it overflows into her own heart.. 

When your child paints a picture of her loving God on the parchment of your heart, you have received a gift which cannot be described in mere words… 

If described at all, it is through the dropping on knees to the whisper of prayer… 

“Thank you, Lord, for the gift of this child…whom although imperfect is made perfect in her striving to be  

Yours…”

 Blessings,

 Lesa

The Power of "Little Kindnesses"

The Power of Little Kindnesses…

Little kindnesses have such power…like little packages of sweetness wrapped up in love’s special ribbon.

Ian and I have a smallish tradition (he says to make up for the past 31 years).  Every time we take a trip, he gets me a little “giftie”…it could be a piece of candy from a favorite candy store or a card from a local card shop.  I have received a single flower from our garden and  poem he wrote “just because”. 

On a recent trip, Ian made special effort to buy me a handmade pair of earrings from a local business in Florida where we were vacationing with my brother and his wife.  We went to several stores, taking in the art of local artisans and in one, The Cedar Chest in Sanibel Island, Florida, found a lovely set of earrings….delicate silver overlaid on gold.

I loved them.

I lost one.

While walking on the beach, hand in hand, as the sun set, somehow one of the earrings must have lost its backing and fallen to the sandy shore.

I was hurt because he had put such effort into selecting them for me…

I don’t consider myself to be a “material girl” for I know we are just passing through, but I did have special affection for this particular set of earrings…

They were a gift freely given from one whose love is fully felt.

But, lost one I did.  Ian, as he is known to do, did not accept the loss without seeking a replacement.  He went to the local business where we purchased the earrings to see if they could find a mate for it.  And, while they did not give us much hope for doing so, they did say they would contact the artist and tell him our story.

And, they did.

And, not only did they find a mate for my lone earring, they did not charge us for it.

They shared this with us….the artist felt for us and our loss on the beach and did not want to charge us for the missing gift.  The store owner kindly agreed to the artist’s request we not be charged.

And so, a few weeks ago, my lost earring was replaced and I am grateful.

For the gift….

For the replacement for the gift.

And, for the generosity of an artist and a business whose hearts were in the giving.

And, for a husband who understands the value of life’s little kindnesses.

Blessed,

Lesa

Nothing "Looks" the Same Now...

Nothing “looks” the same now….

There are times in my life where God has pulled me especially close to him…praying for a sister, losing a best friend because of a drunk driver, father surviving a wreck, mother being healthy, brother safely tucked in bed, PKU, miscarriage, infertility, cancer, divorce, job change, move, and the list goes on and on….and will until my final rest and I meet.

Sometimes, you are pulled into sharing a season of the Lord’s drawing you close with others because of events in their lives….mentally ill child, divorce, abortion, cancer of a sweet baby girl, counting the 100 days of life of a son, attending the funeral of two of a friends precious children, the baptism of a loved one for whom you prayed for 25 years, church growth, children’s ministry, oversees travel, healing from a stroke of a beloved friend, and the list could and does go on and on…and, it too, will until these precious souls meet their final rest.

Nothing looks the same during these seasons in our lives…

Nothing feels the same…

Nothing is the same..

It is then that the rawness of our lives is poured out in the form of our broken hearts and bruised praying knees…when God is especially real and personal and up close with us…

Real.

We are in such a season…

We have a dear friend who is battling for her life here on earth…wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. 

And, nothing in my life and in your life looks the same.

I know this because I, too, wait anxiously each morning, afternoon and evening for an update on our sweet Jana….and, I read your comments, and pray with you your prayers..

And, it is all sweetness..

Reading how so many have been touched by such a tender heart....

Hundreds…thousands of hands being lifted up many, many, many times each day in prayer…and in faith that those prayers are heard by the only ONE who can heal her…

The belief in God’s ability to heal Jana can be felt through the keystrokes of those who so love her and pour out that love in their writing.

The “likes” and comments, photos and Facebook written prayers…they are sweetness.

The love shared commonly among family, friends and even strangers…

It is sweetness…

 So, as I took my nightly walk around my neighborhood, I could feel it….

Nothing looks the same since that Friday when Jana began her battle….

At first, things looked darker, and I confess, even now when the news is not good, it still looks dark.  But, those times come less and less…and, in darkness’ place, is simply a new view of the little things I used to take for granted each time my feet walked the path around my neighborhood…

Not now…

I see things now that I didn’t before because when God drops you to your knees, you are drawn down closer to His creation in a way which only this certain surrendering can provide..

I saw things differently as I walked….things I had looked past previously…

And, I am grateful…

Not for the journey our friend is on…but, that even as she journeys, she has lived such a life that even in the darkness of our fears and anxieties, we are able to see the light of hope…of faith…of  love…

Who Jana loves most is obvious…and it is that love which calls us to prayer…to love…

to believe.

Blessings,

Lesa

Chick Fil A

Chick Fil A

My daughter and I went to run errands this morning and our discussion wrapped itself around the season of grief which has over taken Chick Fil A.

I was proud that she understood that CFA should be allowed it’s right to keep its faith intact, even within its business doors.

I was proud that she understood that no one should have the right to impede the faith walk of another individual or business.

I was proud that she understood that being a Christian was not called to be easy but that it was worthy.

I told her a hard and sad truth….I will never be able to own a Chick Fil A business.

I am divorced.

Because I am divorced, I do not meet the Biblical standards of CFA.

That saddens me because my husband and I have discussed owing a CFA and did not know this truth until recently.  They have very rigid standards, such as no debt, etc. and we meet them all, except for this one.

Now, I could rant and rave and cry discrimination…and, it is.

But, that would be wrong.

The Bible is clear on God’s stand against divorce.

And, even though I have Biblical reasons for my divorce (as does my ex-husband), I still chose divorce and in so doing, forever removed myself from the ability to own a Chick fil A because their faith standard does not accept my life's choices.

humbly, oh so humbly,

I accept and understand and respect their beliefs.

Because, I believe this truth…

I believe God's ways are the only ways....

And, I believe that...

No one should impede on the faith belief of another.  That is God’s job.

My daughter asks, “but what if they are sacrificing children for their faith?”  A good question.

I would hope to do all I could to save the children.

I hope I would have opportunity to share God’s Word with them.

But, ultimately, at the end of the day, that is all we can do..

And, pray.

I admire Chick Fil A’s stand for Christ….

It is their right to have their faith in God.

And, I admire that they will stand strong for their belief in His Word.

I have consequences in my life for not doing so, and it has forever changed me and my family….I praise them for realizing what I did not.

Our God is who we should follow….not just when it is easy.

But, always and in every way and in bold ways.

Blessings,

Lesa

Seeking the Face of Jesus….

“Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.”  I Chronicles 16:11

How precious….how mighty when the family comes together to seek the face of Jesus…..when people stop from their work and their play to pray.  When little children fold tiny hands and say sweet words to Jesus.  When senior citizens with crackly voices sing Amazing Grace and word messages to God.  When adults hold hands across the pew, the neighborhood fence the internet to lift up another...

Prayer Warriors standing together

As only God’s children can do…

Seeking HIS face, and HIS grace

For another….

In this case, there is a wealth of impassioned warriors kneeling, standing, and bending in prayer…for a sister.

A precious, gentle, kind-hearted sister..

Jana

Whose life is so Godly that all who know her have feel the presence of Jesus in her actions, her words, her deeds.

A humble sister, battling for health and wholeness, a miracle of complete healing by a God who is the Miracle Maker.

We believe in God’s power to heal

And, we claim it….

As His children, we claim it…

As His Sheep….His students….His heart….

We stand together, in prayer

And we believe…

Blessings,

Lesa

Kindness Lives In Our Home

Kindness lives in our home

There is a quiet kindness which is living in our home.  I have noticed it more and more this past year and while not fully honed into perfection (I am not certain there is such a thing), it has found root again and begun to grow.

And, in its growing, has made all the difference.

A counselor told me over three years ago two life lessons which have made all the difference in my and my children’s lives.  It is advice we work very hard to live by…even when it is not easy.

One….”always tell the whole truth all the time because in doing so, you are set free” and

Two…”pursue kindness with all people, at all times even when it is not returned”

Genuinely

Her premise was that in living out God’s expectation that we are kind and love one another, that eventually, it will take root and grow and bring about change. 

We took her advice very seriously and did as she recommended….even when it was not easy.  Even in the face of adversity. 

And, I am grateful.

Because somehow along life’s path, kindness has removed itself from our presence.  I don’t think it is a matter of who’s to blame or who started it on its path…what matters is that it left…

We felt the leaving.

Just as we now feel its return.

And, in with its return, joy has joined us as well.

You can hear it in the way we speak to one another, in the way we look out for one another….in the way we stand in front of one another…

Does it live in perfection at our home?  Oh no….I am not sure there is such a thing.

But, as surely as our garden has taken root and now nourishes our family with the bounty of its offerings,

So, too, has the root of kindness taken hold in the garden of our family.

And, I for one, am grateful.

Blessings,

Lesa

What Becomes Important When You Cannot See?

What becomes Important when you cannot see? 

Ian gifted me with a sunset dinner cruise on the Belle of Louisville, the oldest still running steamboat in the United States.  It was a lovely dinner on a lovely ship at a lovely time of the evening…sunset.

As we took our turn in line, we noticed that there were a substantial number of ship guests who were blind and who were walking with seeing-eye dogs and/or canes used by the blind.  The number of such guests was so substantial that we surmised there must be a convention in Louisville and the group decided to join us on our ship ride. 

Of course, the general seeing population gave way to these individuals, special accommodations were made to get them seated, to assist them in securing their dinner and to arranging that their spot on the top of the ship for sightseeing was secured. 

Quiet courtesy was afforded each unsighted person by those who surrounded them.  Unspoken kindnesses. 

It was moving. 

There was no pity from the crowd.  There was no awkward gawking…or too long of glances…there was just 

Unspoken kindness.

It was touching…moving me to tears.  Citizens from all over the state, country and world politely gave up their space in line to offer it to another.   

Hands moved to arms to position a person in the line.  Arms went through arms to draw a person close.  Arms went about shoulders to move forward an individual. 

Like an orchestra of gentility….or waves of compassion…those who could not see were assured the best spot on the ship just so their faces could feel the sweet breeze on their faces…. 

Breezes which would draw a picture that their eyes could not see. 

And, sweeter still…. 

These sightless friends had a bold carefulness about them which could not help but draw in our seeing eyes’ hearts… 

They did not tread fearfully around they ship….they walked surely and boldly and trustingly.  As if their life depended on being confident in the steps they took. 

As if they had learned the hard lesson to have faith in the unseen and in their ability to transverse the terrain of life not having a clear picture of the path but having faith in the journey. 

Powerful. 

The feel of “grace” was palpable….tangible…. 

“the elegance, beauty, smoothness of movement;  dignified, polite and decent behavior; generosity of spirit, a capacity to tolerate, accommodate, or forgive”

And, while their eyes might not be able to take in the beauty and wonder of the sights around us…the strong and bulking ship, the beauty of the woodworking on board, the lovely landscapes we passed by with each wave…while their eyes never beheld the little children dancing and the waves lapping on shore and even the orange-sherbet sunset, they saw.

They saw. 

As surely as I believe in God, I felt their “seeing”…..the lilt of their head to capture a breeze and draw deeply a breath evidencing an inner vision… 

It was as if God was in their body drawing for them a picture right on their hearts. You could see the moment it happened…their posture drawing up and their heads tilting slightly back as they drew in their view…

Closing eyes which could not see to open spirits which could. 

Soaking up the warmth of the sunset….drawing in the sounds of lapping waves as they hit the shore. 

And you could feel it… 

Peace 

They were at peace.  

Soaking in the moments of majesty that sea and wind and life could offer.  Drawing in a calm that came from accepting.   

Tenderly, willingly, gently embracing….. 

And, we wondered…what do we who see miss? 

And, what would truly become important if we could not see? 

Would the color of our clothes, the model of our car or even the leather of our Bible matter?  Would painting our homes or choosing a dog or burning the toast matter? 

Instead, would the words that we speak, the little moments of listening, the singing of our family be that which touched our hearts? 

Would the laughter of children, the feel of soft cotton pillows and taste of sweet oranges bring joy? 

I can see and I am grateful that I was born with and still have the favor of my sight.  Thank you God, for my eyes and the windows to the world they provide. 

But, as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow, God willing, so, too, do these new friends see…and, I am not certain that what they see is not more worthy…more heartfelt….more joyous… 

Because while they don’t see with their eyes…as do I… 

They clearly see with their hearts, their spirits…. 

And, I am moved…to slow down…to appreciate…. 

And, to consider, 

“What would become important if I could not see?” 

Blessings,

Lesa

The Hiding Place....

Excerpt from The Hiding Place

“Fridays….the recurrent humiliation of medical inspections…a Fall chill had settled into the walls.  Still, we were forbidden even to wrap ourselves in our own arms, but had to maintain our erect, hands at sides position…..”Surely there is no more wretched sight than the human body unloved and uncared for.”  

…I could not see the necessity for the complete undressing:  when we finally reached the examining room a doctor looked down each throat, another..at our teeth, a third between each finger….after all that we trooped down the cold corridor and picked up our X-marked dresses at the door.

But it was one of these mornings while we were waiting, shivering in the corridor, that yet another page in the Bible leapt into life for me.

HE hung naked on the cross. 

I had not known – I had not thought….the paintings, the carved crucifixes showed at least a scrap of cloth.  But this, I suddenly knew, was the respect and reverence of the artist.  But oh – at the time itself, on that other Friday morning – there had been no reverence.  No more than I saw on the faces around us now.

I leaned toward Betsie(her sister) and said, “Betsie, they took HIS clothes, too.

 Ahead of me I heard a little gasp…”Oh Corrie, And, I never thanked Him.”

                                      ~Corrie Ten Boom (The Hiding Place)

Dare to be a DAVID......

It is not often that I am shocked. 

But, as I sat in our seat at church yesterday, I was truly, deeply..intimately….

Shocked.

And, in a good way…

Truth was told from the “pulpit” of the church I attended yesterday.

Painful truth.

The minister’s story began with beloved King David…the “man after God’s own heart”.  I have always loved King David…I think because he is the author of at least some of the Psalm and because he was not perfect in his life but he was a man who wanted so badly to give God his whole heart. 

Even as a very young girl, I loved the Psalm. 

Real life is portrayed in the Psalm. 

They were written in the language of the human spirit. They record, in powerful, poetic language, a person's response to God. From a desperate cry for help to an ecstatic shout of joy, each Psalm attempts to reach out and communicate with the God of the universe.  The Psalms of complaint are a model of Godly response to suffering. Rather than expect us to remain stoic through our suffering, God wants us to pour out our hearts and souls to him. He also, however, wants us to remember His loving care for us and how he has forgiven our sins. This will help us trust Him in the future.

Written by: Ted Phillips

It was not a “neat and tidy” lesson we heard yesterday.  Yes, the minister had an outline for his listeners to follow as he poured through scripture, the staff of his words telling us about King David.  Yes, he stayed on task with the outline.  Scripture was read and we were given time to find and reflect on each passage. 

From that perspective, I guess it was “neat and tidy” and I, who love organization, was able to follow in rapt attention… 

But, then I heard these words and everything changed… 

“You are only as sick as your secrets”…. 

He told David’s story….which most of us in the fellowship have heard and know and understand.  David, King, rather than going into battle, stayed home and committed adultery, deception, murder and sins which go hand in hand with such behavior.  He told how this beloved David had begun as a simple shepherd boy, grown to become King and fallen to great sin.  The minister explained to us that while David’s sin was horrific as is all of our sin, it was his seeking to cover up the sin which caused David’s heart to flood with guilt and in that guilt David fell and in that falling, David came to know God in an even more real and intimate way…. 

David learned three things about the Agony Of Guilt:

  It draws you into silence and in silence, you are removed from seeking forgiveness

  It draws you into great sorrow which robs you of the joy God would call into your life

  It draws you into great secrecy as you hide your sin, so you hide your real self

But, while David was not faithful to God, God was faithful to David.  He sent Nathan with a mirror to show David his sin’s reflection in a way David could see and understand.  And then, David did what God calls all of us, sinners to do: 

·         Accept full responsibility for his sin

·         Acknowledged the sinfulness of his sin

·         Addressed his confession of his sin to God 

I don’t think any of this part of the lesson was new to most of us in the sanctuary.  But, it was presented in such a way as to renew our understanding that God is a forgiving God, a loving God, a compassionate God and a disciplining God.   

“How can an adulterer and a murderer be called a "man after God's own heart?" I believe it is because when he failed, he repented and then turned back to God (see Psalm 51). I love the fact that this man who failed grievously could still be called a man after God's own heart. This is good news for all of us who want to honor and please the Lord and yet fail in our Christian walk. And all of us fail!” 

Had the minister ended his lesson here, we could have walked away with a great lesson on which to base our life.  We would have learned that sin can be forgiven if we but turn from it, repent, and choose God. 

We could have walked out of the sanctuary and into the sunshine of our Sunday and pocketed our notes and been filled for the day with God’s message to us. 

But, this minister did what few have the courage to do… 

Something I have never heard done before… 

I am 50 years old, I have been raised in the church for all of those 50 years.  I can count NO times in all of my church attendance when a minister of God’s word stood from the pulpit and shared his own personal sin by name. 

Never. 

In fact, I have sat in the pew and heard one say that in his life he had very little hardship and issues which drew him to stumble and sin.  I confess, I did not then nor do I today, relate.   

So, it caught me totally off-guard, no it shocked me to the core of my being….deep in my soul where God’s voice calls the loudest, to hear this minister tell another story of a “man after God’s own heart” who struggled with a sin for over 20 years – who had a Nathan (or two or three) who confronted him… 

This minister told of the path…the journey….the sin in his life.  He was not melodramatic.  He was not seeking pity.  He did not make excuse. 

He did what David did…Acknowledged his sin, called it what it was…and sought forgiveness from God Almighty.  He acknowledged how his sin hurt his wife, his children, his family, his friends and his church. 

He acknowledged that there were consequences for his sin. 

He did not cry, he did not try to evoke emotion from his church family.   

He just exposed what had been a secret…one which he could not overcome until he did what David did. 

Told the Truth

And, in so-doing, made God’s word come to life in a way it would not have had he not been willing to share with us.

 I don’t think I was the only one shocked.  There was a reverent hush in that sanctuary….where you could feel the presence of God in a real and sincere way.  

Humility lived in that sanctuary.

Compassion lived in that sanctuary.

Love grew in that sanctuary. 

Guilt was washed away in that sanctuary……guilt which wraps his ugly arms around a soul with a thousand links in its chain of bondage.  Guilt which can seek and destroy was lifted. 

And, joy was restored. 

And, just as David was a man after God’s own heart, so, too, was it evident is this brother…. 

But, he did not stop with his own story….he gave his listeners the tools to remove guilt from their own lives. 

·         Ask God to remove your sin – you are dead until God forgives

·         Ask for your joy to be restored – in joy there is deep satisfaction from God

·         Ask to be renewed in his fellowship

·         Refocus on your future – recommit – reconnect with God 

When a soul bears itself to you in its beauty it is a precious thing.  When a soul bears itself to you in humble contriteness, it is a tender thing.  When a soul bears itself to you in abstract bold expression of its sinfulness, it is a Godly thing. 

Courage was abounding in that sanctuary.  Courage real and true. 

And, while I don’t know what the future will hold for this dear minister.  I do believe this. 

Lives were changed. 

Hope was born.

God was present.

Blessings,

Lesa

PS.  He added a side note and a challenge….”let’s not kid ourselves…we are all sinners….if we read One Thousand Shades of Gray, we are reading pornography; if we place value on things to the extent we remove God from our center, we are sinning….if we talk of another person in gossip, we are sinning…if we turn away our brothers and sisters because they sin, we are sinners.  Let’s tell the truth…starting with ourselves…and that truth-telling draw ourselves closer to God and one another.”