As Only Your Mama Can….

Precious daughter, these blogs become more meaningful to me with the passing of each day.  While I am not “old” in my heart, spirit or belief, I have reached the age where I realize that every day I have with you is a gift to be treasured and that no day is one to take for granted.  This knowing is not a somber thing, it is a gift from God….for, it gives direction to my life and the ability to grow a grateful heart and a purpose to my time spent.

This week is “V”…..

V is for Voice, Venia and Voyage

V is for Voice

When God gives us life, He gives us a voice.  While at first, our voice consists of cries out to our parents, and later to sweet child-like chatter, still even later it becomes our avenue for communicating with others…with the world.   I sincerely am coming to believe that so many people struggle in their lives because they do not feel heard….they have joys, sorrows, happy happenings and painful struggles which they strive to share in hopes of having their living shared, but often feel unheard….and, therefore unloved, uncared for, unfulfilled….

They have a voice….but they do not have a soul who will listen.

Bless and bless those who are able to listen.

Bless even moreso those who are able to share that there is one who is faithful to listen to our voices….every single moment of every single day of our lives….one who loves us, loves our voice, loves it when we speak.

That is my challenge to you precious daughter as you live your life…

Find your own voice…..search for it as you would the most golden of treasures.  Come to know who you are and do it on purpose (nod to Dolly Pardon)

And, just as importantly, listen to others who would need to share with you their voice in a world where listening is a lost art and opining is the order for the day.

And, share with your voice, your words, your ability to those who do not know….that God, our maker, creator, counselor….the very one who created our voices as we were knit in our mother’s womb, is the very one who knows the value of our voice and whose great desire is to hear it spoken….

In words, in song, in praise of Him…..in prayer, in meditation, in joyful noise!

Tell that to those who do not know….tell them about Him.

For in your telling, there you will find your own….

Voice.

V is for Venia

Venia….such a beautiful Latin word with an even lovelier meaning.

When someone offers venia to another, they are offering “grace in abundance”

Pardon

Forgiveness

Mercy

We all have things in our lives for which we seek venia…..mistakes, wrong-doings, hurts we have caused others either out of ignorance or, at times, even on purpose.

We all have things in our lives for which we would need to offer venia…extending pardon to one who has hurt us, who has laid bare their sinfulness on our hearts and has forever branded us, our hearts, our spirits.

I challenge you in this as well….offer not only venia…..but venia in abundance.

Grace.

For His word tells us…

“It is by grace you have been saved.”  ~Ephesians 2:5

 

For, if God’s grace has had the ability to save us, shouldn’t we offer it back to others in our submission to His example?

Grace does not necessarily require that we stand and permit another to harm us with our blessing.  What it does allow, is in the process of moving ourselves into the shelter of God, we give all things over to Him and grow in our venia…..God has promised He will “fight for us; that we need only to be still.” ~Exodus 14:14.

V is for Voyage

There is a common saying that “life is a journey”…..a long trip or passage of time….

And, it is…

“Mortals, born of woman, are of few days and full of trouble.  They spring up like  flowers and wither away; like fleeting shadows, they do not endure.  A person’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and set limits he cannot exceed.”  ~Job 14:1, 2, 5)

Our lives are not only journeys, but how long the journey will last is not something we can even know or hope to know.  That is why we do not squander our days….it is why we need to find our voice and use it…it is why we should show venia along the way.

I did not know this at twenty-three.  It is something I want you to understand and want my legacy to be to you..

This understanding that life is a gift….each day you have on this earth has meaning and value.  The same Father who counts the numbers of hairs on your head is the same Father who knows the numbers of your days.  His gift to you is life.  Your gift to Him is in how you live out His gift. 

I don’t believe God wants us to stress out over our every waking moment in fear that we are not doing, being, giving, helping, sharing, studying, praying…..enough (for there is never enough), but what I do believe God desires of us is to live out our days with a purpose….making the most of our voyage on this earth, sharing His love, His grace, His compassion and His truth with others, starting with ourselves and paying it forward to those around us.

And, baby….I’ve told you since you were little that “love is in the details.”…….Loving God is in the details of how you live your moments that He gives you….it’s the little obediences in your daily voyage which will enable you to walk into bigger obediences as you walk your life.

Enjoy your voyage…your journey….your road traveled. 

In fact, Delight in your voyage…relish it’s blessings and joys.

ADORE….your life.

It is His gift to you….

Blessings,

ILYAOYMC

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

…..As Only Your Mama Can 

U is for Unfailing, Unseen and Ubiquitous

 

U is for Unfailing

 

You and I have a favorite movie, A Walk to Remember.  Toward the end, when Landon is aware that Jamie is dying, Jamie gives him a gift of poetry and quotes which her mother had collected.  This was one of Jamie’s greatest earthly treasures.  In it was I Corinthians 13…which she quoted to Landon as she lay dying.  And, it was at this moment that she promised Landon her unfailing love.  Then, at the end of the movie as the scene leaves their wedding and moves to the sky outside the beautiful little church, Landon uses this term to describe Jamie’s love…of God, of him, of her father…. 

Unfailing….

Love that is unfailing is the kind of love God wants us to have for one another.  Unfailing love is the kind of love of which you are “always able to supply more.” 

It the kind of love God calls upon a husband to have for his wife.  The kind of love a mother has for her child.

It’s the kind of love which does not have an end, but which grows and grows and grows… 

That is my Mama’s prayer for you….to find and to give unfailing love. 

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.  What a person desires is unfailing love.”  Proverbs 20: 21-22.

I love you, dear daughter, with an unfailing love which will always grow and which will always be….. 

Wait for that kind of love in a mate, for with unfailing love, your own love will be complete.  And, once you have found that kind of love, guard it, nurture it, invest in it…. 

Love it back….unfailingly. 

U Is for Unseen 

Something not observed or perceived is said to be unseen and in my fifty-one years, it has seemed to me that often is the occasion that those things which are unseen are those things which are of greatest significance to me and my life….and, yet, I know with great confidence that they exist. 

God….in faith I believe in Him, in my life there is evidence of Him 

Love…in living I experience it, in sharing I give it….

Joy…in suffering I find it, in truth I live with it 

God, Love, Joy…..I cannot see them, but like the wind, I can feel them…. 

And, I believe. 

It is in our faith in these unseen things which brings to us hope. 

“Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly, we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18 

Take to heart in your life the power of those things unseen and give them over to God…. 

They are not unseen because you are blind to them.  They are unseen because God pulls you to Him through them…

U is for ubiquitous

I confess that as I prepared for this week’s blog, this word kept tumbling itself inside my head…I could not shake it off, I could not invite it to leave.  As I walked and prayed in the early morning, I kept thinking of ubiquitous…so, I looked it up… 

Ubiquitous means something which is seen everywhere at the same time…existing everywhere….omnipresent

So, I thought….am I supposed to talk about God and His omnipresence in your life?

Am I to discuss the use of cell phones which seem to be all over the place and for which we have a fetish?

But, the more I read of ubiquitous and studied its Latin roots, I realized, ubiquitous is not necessarily a good thing. 

When something is everywhere, all the time, in all places, surrounding all things, it is often taken for granted, overlooked and unappreciated… 

We often take things that are ubiquitous for granted, until they disappear. 

I have experienced that in my own life….having blessings so abundant that it was not until they were gone that I fully appreciated what I had.

I have lived on both sides of ubiquitous, and both were painful. 

As Kathleen Kelley and Joe Fox say in You Got Mail,

 

Joe Fox: It wasn't... personal.

Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's *personal* to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?

Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.

Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal. 

LIFE is personal.  Kathleen Kelley got that right…she understood that to be ubiquitous was not necessarily a good thing…

Choose not to live a ubiquitous life….it’s not important that you be everywhere, all the time, in all places, being all things to all people.

What matters is that you are present where you are…with the people you are with….

That you are personal with yourself and with your life.

You and I are learning in our counseling studies that individuals who learn to “be present” in their lives are those who are the most healthy.  That makes sense to me in light of this term ubiquitous.  If you try to be everywhere, being everything to everyone, you spread yourself so thin that there is little left of you to fully be.

Would it make more sense to choose to “be” where God puts us?  To live in the moments of where we are until He moves us to a new place?

When I bring to mind those individuals who are strong in faith, strong in health, strong in life, it is those individuals who seem to have this figured out.  They are personal with others but they do not try to be everything to all people.

They live in the moment of where they are….allowing God to use them as He will.

Un-ubiquitous.

I love you unfailingly,
      as only your Mama can,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Only Your Mama Can…. 

T is for Testimony, Truth and Tippy Toes

 

A lesson I should have known clearly but did not fully understand until 2010 is the importance, the significance….the life-changing value of my personal testimony.  Testimony, by definition means, “a solemn declaration, an outward sign of an inward truth.”

How you behave on the outside tells the world the truth of your heart on your inside.

Think about that….imagine that in your head. 

The reality is that sometimes we behave a certain way out of fear, desperation, defeat….anger, hurt, desire to remove ourselves…..ignorance, selfishness, stupidity…..and yes, at times, sinfulness. 

You and I both have moments in our lives where our personal testimonies do not reflect the truth of what we “want” our hearts to be testifying to the world…but, it is all the world can see….. 

Lest you feel defeated in this, don’t.  You and I are not unique in this failure in testimony.  All are.  No one’s testimony is perfect and for those who think theirs is….THAT is their failure in testimony…believing they are perfect in their living.

But…we are only responsible for ourselves, our lives, our testimonies.   

Your testimony is a gift you give back to the world in the name of Jesus… 

How you live your life, the words you choose to use, the photos you select to display, the work ethic you produce at work, the love you show others, the way you dress, to drink or not to drink, to be a giver rather than a taker, to worship in your daily living… 

These are all your testimony to the world….and they answer the question…. 

“Whom does Madison love the most?” 

Does her testimony bear witness for her love of God…His son?  The Holy Spirit? 

Or does she live for the world?

Every day…every moment of every day…your life is a testimony of what your heart cherishes and treasures… 

Make yours a beautiful Testimony, sweetheart….. 

Make your daily living be a beautiful work of art…a treasure…a gift of love and laughter and “light”….

Let your words, your actions, your personal character be that of sweetness and bold witness to the one who gave you life…and, take that life and make it a masterpiece…not of perfect living for that is not possible, but of sincere striving to live a testimony which brings glory and honor and love to Him……

And, by doing so…..you will have a life that when you return it back to Him, you can smile that Father’s daughter’s smile of peace and joy and faith…..your days will be witness to the greatest of all things… 

His love. 

T is for Truth 

You know that one of my absolutely, positively, much beloved verses is: 

John 8: 31032:   So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, "If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." 

Our family lived many years hiding an ugly truth behind closed doors and surrounded by a white picket fence.  I realize now the sin of that and, our family is broken because of that hiding.  Some lessons need only be learned one time, and this is one of them. 

Live in truth, daughter. 

As Beth Moore told me (via her Bible Study) this week, “live in the light of God’s truth so that He can shine on the darkness that would exist if not for His light of Truth.” 

We don’t live this way because it is “messy, ugly, painful.”  But, you know what.....there is a reason for that.  Sin hides in darkness….and, that darkness will not…never…never ever go away until the witness of God’s truth shed’s its light on that sin….. 

This is truth. 

BUT, conversely, when you live in truth….your world becomes free. 

Free indeed. 

There is a freedom God gives to truth-tellers which is HOLY….which is BOUNTIFUL….which is LOVELY….which brings about a peace like nothing in this world can bring.

The more you come to know God….the more you are able to live in truth. 

Come to know Him….study His heart….learn His ways…. 

And live in the truth of His Word… 

One of the things I want to pass along to my clients which was passed along to me by my counselor, Rhonda Souder, is the verse I listed above…. 

She told me, Chose this day whom you will serve and Lesa…..Tell The Truth 

I am so grateful for her sage advice because while to the world my personal truth may be ugly….to God it is beautiful.  When you go to the Father and lay it all down in humble effort to be God’s Girl….He receives you with open arms and full forgiveness….He makes you whole and pure and white as only He can!

That, my precious daughter is Powerful.  And, honestly, it is ALL of which matters.

When we do this, He promises…to make us New….

II Corinthians 5:17:  Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation,… 

Ezekiel 36:26-27: I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. ²⁷ And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. ²⁸ Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God.

So, tell the Truth…..and, live such a life that being a truth-teller is an easy thing for you to do. 

T is for Tippy Toes

Live a life on your Tippy Toes…..in Awe!  In Amazement of all that God provides for you!! 

One of my very favorite pictures of you was at a church family’s pot luck.  They had a white fence and you climbed to the top rung with your feet on the second from the top rung…you were on your tippy toes and I was afraid you would fall.  You wore a navy and red (4^th of July outfit) and had the sweetest little piggy tails.  I believe it was Aunt Tita (Anita McIntyre) who reached over and grabbed my arm as I started to run to “save” you from a great fall.  She stopped me…and said, “Lesa…let her be.  At worst, she will fall a short distance onto the soft ground below.  But, at best, she will come to feel safe.  Look at her little face….the joy she feels from reaching “up”….that’s the direction you want to point her….UP…to Him, so let her go.” 

And, with my heart in my chests about ready to burst, I did that….I let you stand on tippy toes…and reach up.

Stand on those tippy toes even as you mature into this life.  Mature in wisdom of His word, but with the hearts of a child…. 

Matthew 18:2-4:  And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. "Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.… 

And, always, always……always look “up”…. 

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

Our Senior Moments…….

 

 

My sons are eighteen years and four months and yet they are seniors.  They are this old because we decided to “hold them back” when they were in pre-school hoping that would give them the chance to grow and mature and be ready for high school and college when it came.  You make decisions as young parents which will forever impact your children’s lives not knowing for sure if you are making good decisions which is why you learn quickly to pray… 

And so, we did. Pray. 

As a result of this holding, my sons entered their senior year already eighteen and adults.  Which means they can tackle as an adult anything which comes their way including signing their own paperwork for school, something we parents especially look forward to each year….Not! 

Each year on the first day of school, my three children bring home papers for personal information, insurance information, contact, school calendars, etc.  for me to sign. 

It dawned on me that this year, my signature was no longer required. 

I am no longer needed. 

My babies are adults in the eyes of the law. 

They can sign themselves. 

So, I didn’t ask them after that first day of school “where are all your papers I need to sign?” like I have in year’s past.

And, I confess….it was a bittersweet moment for this Mama…… 

So, it was pretty precious to me when Johnson came to me after having filled out all of his paperwork and said, “Mama, I know I am old enough to sign these for myself, but would you please sign them too?  You are still my Mama and I know you wouldn’t want to miss this opportunity….” 

And then he smiled a big….Mama-knowing smile which melted my heart.  He got it…..He understood.  He knows we are winding down the times where he will need me for these little things and he knows that not only is he on a journey, but I am on one with him. 

I appreciate that. 

Later, Kenton came in to my office and handed his papers likewise filled out all except my signature….

And he said, “Mama, would you like to sign for me this one last time?”

It is a sweet day when your son’s take the time to understand your Mother’s heart….it makes you realize they are moving from the “it’s all about me stage” to the “it’s okay for it to be about someone else besides me stage.”

I signed the volumes of papers….my last time to do so and Kenton walked over to me and had me stand up for a hug…”see Mama, that wasn’t so bad.  We will always be your boys, you will always be our Mama.”

A Senior-Mama Moment I will treasure. 

…..may I not miss a single one

I see the word for today….it’s red

 

My heart goes immediately to the cross…..where red and white and black and blue are all blended together in forgiveness.  Where a mother’s tears and a son’s words, where a friend’s shouts and a people’s sin stand out in stark contrast against the white of Christ. 

I walk around my home seeking red…and, I find it….

 

 

 

Red is written on the calendar of our family’s activities…the special ones imbued with this crimson hue.

Red is primary on the comforter of my son’s bed. 

Red is in the many pictures hung round our home to remind us of our love for one another…red leaves in fall with children playing, red shirts are worn on children skiing, red lips are spread open in wide family smiles, all for the pleasure of our home’s citizens. 

Red apples lie in the bowl my grandmother once used to knead her bread, a bowl likely pushing toward 100 years old still strong and alive, crafted well. 

Red is the handle of the lighter we so often use to light candles because we love romance. 

And, then I see it…..the greatest red a mother can witness….a sweet reminder of the greatest of all of the reds….

Love….

Written by her little child many, many years ago in childish pen in simple lettering, a sweet, sweet sharing from child to Mama…. 

Their heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Only Your Mama Can......

You were very young when you first told me you wanted to be baptized....such a young girl, such a big step.

We asked you to wait.....and, you did...

I'm not sure now if that was right...to ask you to wait "until you were older" for I realize that you knew the truths that God asks us to know...

Finally, you told me, "Mama, I am ready...really, I don't want to wait any longer."

Upon the suggestion of your youth minister, I had you write a letter....about why you wanted to be baptized....

And, I found that letter today while going through a treasure box of yours....

Precious are your words.....and, sweet is it that you were baptized in the gown I wore when you were a baby.  My mama bought it for me to rock and sing and love on you. 

And, when that wonderful day arrived....you KNEW...you claimed the truths God seeks to hear from all of his children.....and, it changed us all.......

ILYAOYMC,
But....God loves you more....

Mama

Hands raised high….in praise 

Feet lightly walking down a sandy beach….in thankfulness 

Amazing Grace…My Chains are Gone….sung in celebration 

My sturdy pink Bible all God’s words and compelling…..in humble study 

The laughter of my children, the piano playing of my husband, my mother’s precious happy voice over the phone.  My daddy’s hands as he holds mine, the memory of a father in law playing Santa to my children and a mother in law leaving me a legacy of a faithful woman. 

The sun as it highlights the angel hair of my daughter whose laughter my heart will hear all the days of my life. 

The impromptu hug of my oldest son at just the right moment. 

The ILY2 texted to me by my busy, active baby boy. 

The garden my love and I grow to grow us closer to one another and to God. 

The quiet little moments early in the morning when there’s no doubt He calls my name. 

The silent little trickle of tears falling down my face as sorrow would overwhelm me if not for the presence of the Lord. 

The sadness of my friends which is lifted up in prayer. 

The brokenness of my acquaintances whom I see when I walk past… and quietly bow my head in prayer…

The joy of a friends babies as they celebrate their five years. 

The sweet reminder of a sister-friend every time I see a penny….or a heart. 

It’s not just the time in communion in a building made by God.  It’s not only the a'capella singing of the brothers and the sisters of our Father.  It’s not simply the choir and the lesson and the sweet Bible studies with the young….not the pews and the bulletins and the things of formality… 

It’s the little daily livings we do as we hold His hand through life.  It’s the moments with our Father which grip our hearts and touch our spirits.

It’s the kindnesses we share all in His Holy Name. 

It’s the time spent on Him, for Him, with Him…..and with His…..which brings us to our….

Worship

 

As Only Your Mama can…… 

It’s early….I woke up early thinking about you, and it made me smile a Mama’s smile…..

 

 

S is for Sacrifice, Silly and Shirle 

S is for Sacrifice.  Sadly, the concept of sacrifice has become blurred with time.  Today is so much about “me” that our ability to make things about others is a concept that few can really understand.  That is why I want to encourage you to find opportunities to sacrifice.  Not in public so that the world may see, but in private so that God may be witness.  Sacrifice holy….for Him…because of Him….in His name.

Sacrifice is defined as an act of offering something precious…..and, the greatest gift of sacrifice you can give is that of yourself. 

I believe that…..the greatest gift is that of yourself, your personhood, your friendship, your love. 

That is what Jesus did for us…..his sacrifice was the ultimate one. 

You know, I think some do not want to sacrifice because they think that means sacrifice so greatly that there is nothing left of us, but my understanding is that that is not what means… 

To me, sacrifice is a giving of ourselves…not of all so that nothing is left.   

“Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to this pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 

Yes, some have been called to sacrifice all…even their lives, but most are called to do as this scripture says…to live a life of sacrifice on this earth now so that we will be transformed……

Into HIS…. 

S is for Shirle…… 

Shirle Sue Perry Millstead is your Grammy.  When I think of sacrifice, I think of your Grammy, my Mother, who has been a real, authentic and true example of sacrifice.  She gave up much personally to become who God called her to be.

When I take time to reflect on my fifty-one years as Mama’s daughter, I can see that sacrifice…. 

And, I am grateful. 

I think both you and I can agree that Grammy is no wilting flower barely able to hold up her head in the storm of life.  Quite the contrary, she has faced the many challenges and trials of life with her head bowed in prayer and then lifted in “his light”.  She is a strong, Godly woman who refused to give way to hopelessness and who, instead, grew into faithfulness. 

That is her legacy to you.  To be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power….so that your life is a light which illuminates the path to God so that those who would otherwise live in darkness can see… 

Him. 

Watch your Grammy closely………she has the heart of Her heavenly Father and the spirit of His son. 

That is God’s gift to you…..your Grammy. 

Come to know her and know her well so that you, too, can grow into the strong, Godly and lovely daughter of His…

She is your Godly legacy…holding up the lantern of her life and lighting your way…..

Follow, daughter….. 

S is for Silly….. 

 

I think it is appropriate that silly be one of the words in this letter to you.   

I happen to believe that our God loves it when we are silly…..

Laughter is music to His ears and music to His soul…

God tells us in His word that there is a “Time for Everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.” 

“…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance….” 

I have this image of God….watching in glorious delight as we frolic and play and have fun.  I have no doubt when my daddy taught me to do the peppermint twist in the living room of our home at 661 Cherrywood drive that God was there….laughing. 

That when my mother played kick ball with us in the back yard and ran the bases like a maniac trying to steal home, God was there….laughing.

That when you and your brothers and I were in the ocean playing in the sun and laughing as we tried to dunk each other….God was there laughing. 

He loves us…..He loves our joy, our laughter……. 

He loves the music our hearts make when we are joyfully and sweetly embracing the preciousness of this life and sharing that with one another in laughter… 

So, be silly…..be extravagantly, happily…..amazingly silly in your life and share that with those around you so that they can tell the God you live for…the God you worship….the God who guides you in this world is a Father who loves you and your… 

Silliness……

Be silly for Him! 

Blessings,

 ILYAOYMC,

Mama