If It’s Monday, It’s Mama……on Tuesday, NEW YEAR’S DAY 2013

January 1, 2013

“A” is for Action

When you were 4, I received a call from Southern Hills Montessori requesting I come to the school ASAP.  They assured me that yes, you were perfectly fine, but that no, you would not come out of the top of the tree.  Mrs. Mailfald, you teacher, didn’t sound upset, or mad…..but rather, cautiously delighted. 

Says I to her, “really?  You mean Madison, my daughter, is up in the top of a tree?”

 

Says she, “oh yes, and a very high tree it is…she is almost to the top.”  “You might want to hurry.” 

So, I, being the good mother of an explorer daughter, pull up my pregnant self (with her twin brothers inside) and drive over to the school.  I don’t remember exactly what month it was….late October, I think, because you had on tights and a light jacket, but the sun was shining very brightly and the trees did not have many leaves. 

We stood there at the bottom of that tree, hands over eyes to blot out the sun and looked up high…very high…to see your little tight-clad bottom as it climbed higher still. 

Calmly I ask, “Madison, where do you think you are going?” 

Calmer still, you reply, “On a “venture”. 

 

A what?  A “venture. 

Mrs. Mailfald leans over and explains to me that you were in the “A”s already AGAIN at school, having gone through the entire alphabet already, and that this week’s word for you was “ADVENTURE”. 

“Where are you adventuring to?” 

“Heaven”. 

“Heaven?  Why heaven?” 

“Because when you are UP in heaven, you can see every little thing and every big thing.  It is the only place where you can see both at the same time. 

I look at Mrs. Mailfald….she nods yes…..and shrugs her shoulders in agreement.  They had been studying quantities and differentials – big/small, up/down, in/out, high/low, full/empty. 

And, it was a Christian Montessori, so of course, HEAVEN, was up where God lived and where all things are possible. 

Mrs. Mailfald said, “I think Madison was listening to our lessons.  I think she gets it.”   

What makes me smile most recalling this “Adventure” is that the three of us, Mrs. Mailfald, Mrs. Hartman (your other teacher) and I stood from down below, looking high up and trying to decide…do we make you come down (you really could hurt yourself…it really is a tall tree…you are such a smallish girl.  Or, should we let you climb to what you deem is the “top” and let God show you His handiwork? 

Hmmmm….. 

We stood, by silent agreement. 

We did spread out a little in case you fell so that hopefully, one of us would be nearby to catch you. 

Your little tennis-shod feet climbed higher and higher… 

“Mama….I am getting very high, am I in heaven yet?” 

“I don’t know, are you?” 

Little hands grabbed exceedingly smaller and smaller branches, you bit your tongue and kept climbing.  You were not slow about it at all, but rather moved with a purpose. 

My heart gave way each time you stumbled trying to reach the next branch to climb to….each time the branch seemed to get smaller and smaller in your hand… 

Until finally, you came to a spot in the tree where the branches had broken way and there was a clearing where sunlight poured in and onto your face so brightly that you could not see well to move farther. 

“I made it!!  I made it!” 

“And, it is B E A U T I F U L! 

You spelled it with a ShOuT!!!!! (yes, you actually spelled the word out loud). 

I can see Everything….and, you started naming off all the wonders you could see…one by one. 

The tops of houses, the birds, the swing set, the picnic tables, cars driving by, kids playing, the tops of or heads, the sun….. 

It was a life-changing moment….for you 

For me 

Then, as quickly as you went up, you “ventured” down…not at all afraid you would fall, but with child-like wonderful confidence that you could do anything, including coming down from a tree where you had seen heaven! 

At the last branch, I reached out my hands to catch you and you jumped into my arms….cheeks all pink and eyes are bright….joy on your face! 

I hugged you hard and with a grateful heart. 

“Mama….I had a ‘venture……and, it was good.” 

“Can I keep it?” 

“Can you keep it?”  “What do you mean?” 

“Can I keep it so I remember it?” 

I don’t know if you have “kept” this memory of the tree climbing adventure, but that was when, as your mother, I started truly journaling hard…writing details of your life so that one day, when time was once again my friend and I could sit to write, that I would have kept enough of the memory to write them to you. 

It seemed like such a smallish ACTION at the time, but now, as I find little written reminders of your life’s adventures, I smile…..and, I write.

So, as we head into this New Year 2013, I want to challenge you to ACTION. 

Life changing action…..committed action…..forward action. 

Those things you want to accomplish this year will not happen unless you work toward making them happen….work toward them. 

Prayerfully ask God’s direction for the next 365 days, whisper to Him your hopes and dreams of great adventures for your life….

 

Ready……Set…..Go

 

Gary Black……“is thinking: The best way to be a different person one year from now is to change your thinking. You will BE, 365 days hence, exactly where your thoughts take you.   ~Gary Black, Campus Director Southland Christian Church”

 

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead……James 2:17 

I challenge you to call upon the faith of your youth to grow your faith this year….so that you are ALIVE and have ACTION toward Him….. 

That same faith that drew you up toward Him by climbing the tallest tree….in four-year-old faith…. 

Have that, claim that, live that faith 

For the next 365 days…. 

And watch the mighty, powerful, beautiful, creative, consistent, true, amazing ways God will reveal Himself to you!! 

“Why are you sleeping?  Wake up and pray!”  Jesus to the disciples asleep in the garden Luke 22:46 NAB 

Because Action, at its heart, starts with waking up and praying! 

Blessings sweet daughter, 

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I Cannot Do it For You, But I Can Do it WITH You”

 

 As we have talked about my recent blog, I have a lot of peace.  Peace that you are finally “ready” to work on some of the things of which were written.  Specifically, going back on the PKU diet.

Your Mama has been praying for 2,456 days (give or take a day, from the time you were 16 until today) for you to return to your PKU diet.  The reason I know the date is that chose to tell me on your 16^th birthday that you were no longer going to stay on the “crazy, outrageous, un-doable” PKU diet.  It became a source of great dissention…..and pain in our relationship. 

I think it might help for you to read our “mother daughter love story”…… 

April 10^th was the best day of my life.  After trying for two years, your Dad and I were blessed to become “with child”.  I always liked that expression so much more than “pregnant”.  We were thrilled.  You were the first grandbaby for my parents and the first in several years for your Dad’s side.  Everyone was thrilled.  I never felt closer to your Daddy than when I was with child with you and your brothers and Joseph.   

I remember clearly the day the test was “positive”.  Elated….that is the word I felt.  Elated…thrilled…amazed 

And Grateful…. 

I had a wonderful pregnancy….magical even. 

I remember the little things… the look on your dad’s face when I showed him the positive test, hearing your heartbeat the first time, going with Grammy to buy your bedding (a story within itself), early morning moments looking at my belly in the mirror… 

I LOVED being with child….pregnant. 

And, so did your Daddy (he in fact, gained 15 sympathy pounds).  You, Joseph, Kenton and Johnson are the best of your dad’s and my love….the very best.  And, nothing can ever change that.... 

Little things…memories 

Sitting in church gently swaying side to side….a friend said she would always remember me “rocking” you as I worshipped in service.   (She later told me it was my fault that you had to be "moving" all the time). 

I very purposefully read to you, played classical music and talked to you….constantly. 

And, in the wee hours of the morning, I would pray over you….pouring out my young mother’s heart to God that He would care for you not just in my womb, but all of the days of your life…

And, I am going to share something with you I don’t think I ever shared with you before…. 

I KNEW…. 

I knew the minute we conceived you at Myrtle Beach (truth) and even told your Dad…

I knew you would be a girl

I knew you would arrive in good shape 

And, in the deepest parts of my heart, I knew there would be something special about you…which would make you unique…I didn’t know what it would be, but I knew. 

So, while we were surprised to learn at day #9 of your life that you had PKU 

I was not really surprised

I remember getting the news and going to the hospital in tears….with great fear…. 

God put people in my and your Dad’s path to help us…. 

Your Grammy…I know she was in pain because not only was her granddaughter at risk, but her daughter was hurting as well.  She held my hand…and my heart….enabling me to hold yours.  She was our North during the storm. 

Your Poppy…Poppy was out of town but flew back so that he could be with you…with us. I remember his looking at you for the first time....precious. 

Your Mamaw Betty and Papaw James….Mamaw said, “well, it is just as it is and we will just all deal with it”.  Brief, but comforting words in their acceptance and simplicity…you were “theirs”….and, because you were theirs…they would take care of you. 

Judy Leek.  Judy cancelled a flight to go with us to the doctor’s office that first visit.  She is, I believe, a nuclear physicist or a chemist.  Brilliant in many ways.  The doctor told me to immediately stop nursing you (something I LOVED) and to bind myself up and feed you PKU formula only.  I was devastated.  Judy reached over and grabbed my hand and forced me to look at her…she said, “Lesa, do you want to nurse your baby?”….I tearfully nodded yes…she said then remember….OUR GOD is bigger than PKU.  If you want to nurse, then nurse your baby.  And, so I did.  You were the first (and only as far as I know) PKU patient to be nursed by your mother.  It just wasn’t’ done.  Judy’s lesson to me that day was powerful. 

MY GOD….YOUR GOD…..is more powerful than any other thing this world can throw at us! 

And so, your Dad and I became PKU immersed.  We vowed to one another, as we walked around the block of our neighborhood that fateful day, that we would be the best PKU parents ever and that you would be the best PKU patient at UK Hospital. 

And, honestly, until you were 16, that was pretty much truth for you.

We heel stuck to take blood specimens, made PKU food from scratch, journaled your PKU formula intake, journaled your weekly diet. 

It was a labor of love in which ALL of your family took part.   

Not because we had to....but because we wanted to give you the very best opportunity for the very best life God had for you. 

The ONE thing I would do differently and which I do now is that I would have given over your PKU MORE to God and less to our human hands.  I feel that way about several things in my life, in your life.....but, PKU is right up there at the top. 

I think we became so wrapped up in trying to "perfect' your PKU that we forgot there is only one PERFECTOR....and, that is God. 

So, as we head into this NEW YEAR.....2013..... 

Let's do differently.  

 I love Maya Angelou's quote,  

I did then what I knew how to do.
Now that I know better, I do better.”

- Maya Angelou 

The Bible tells us....my favorite verse....

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man(woman), I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE. 

I never really noticed verse 10 until recently....The WORD says "in part"....that when "completeness comes, what is “in part” disappears."

You and I are not children of the world.  We are HIS children.  And, while we will never be perfectly mature nor perfect, we do need to put the ways of childhood behind us and move toward maturity with Him.

It is a journey.....a lifetime journey.

But, life is a journey of which you are not alone.

 

GOD is your mighty fortress and strength.  HE can do all things....for you, through you, with you. And, He will if you seek HIM first with "all of your heart".....which is why I say that often to those whom I love.  Which is why I shared that text message with you the other day.... 

"with all of my heart"......because of HIS heart. 

And, right there, where God allows Mothers the humble privilege of standing, I stand. 

In front of you, beside you and behind you.... 

Always... 

Because while I cannot do your life, your faith, your PKU, etc. for you.... 

I can do it with you.

And, I give my word...on my Mother's heart, calling upon all of my Mother's love for you....

I will be there.....as long as God will allow.   

For you see, He role models that for us....Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

 Deuteronomy 31:6 

And, where God places HIS footsteps in our lives, it is our blessing....and our humble obligation to follow... 

in faith 

And, in love. 

You can do all things through HIM....don't just read those words....bring them to life in 2013. 

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

If It’s Friday, It’s Monday plus four days because Christmas is Important…

Lay Them All Down…..Give Them All Over….Those New Year’s Resolutions

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9

 

Dear Daughter, BEFORE you write down a single dream, goal, hope for 2013…..kneel down and ask God to set the course of your steps this coming 2013.  Give over your plans…from the smallest to the most large, to Him.  For, no matter what comes from your pen to the paper, if it is not His will, you would not want it to happen.

Pray….then….  

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.

 

Give your life over…. 

Surrender your plans to the one who can shape and mold and draw them in ways you cannot even imagine. 

Don’t surrender in fear of what may or may not happen.  Surrender in faith that God’s BEST will happen. 

Claim His will for your days…… 

I believe like any good father, God wants us to share our goals, our dreams, our hopes…..so, I pray you do write them down.  But, I pray, this year, you only do so after seeking His will for your life.  After committing to His plan.  After surrendering to His fullness and understanding. 

And, having done so, I pray you fill 2013 with the constant prayerful seeking of His will while achieving the things in your life which are your dreams blessed by Him.

 

Blessings,

Mama

All days are precious gems to be treasured, but there is something especially sweet of this day, CHRISTMAS day.  For while we don’t know the full details of Jesus’ birth, we have set this day aside to celebrate it.  And, not only do we celebrate His birth, but we celebrate our time with one another, and I cannot help but believe that makes HIM smile.

As I sit here at my desk writing in the early am hours awaiting the arrival of my blonde haired angel-daughter who will be coming in from work, I have such a sense of joy come over me…

I am blessed….

I am blessed with a husband who has loved me since I was thirteen years old, and who has loved me in such a way that I am able to understand how “Christ loves the church.”

I am blessed with three children who daily remind me of God’s love, God’s compassion and God’s grace.  They point me to Jesus with their lives…..the remind me for whom I live and that without whom, I would not live.

I am blessed with a “deposit in heaven” who, even in his un-life on this earth, points me and my children to the heavenly life with God.

I am blessed with a mother, father and host of siblings and nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins who call me to a high bar of love and compassion.

The blessings flow and flow in my life and in that of my family…

…..all because of a CHILD who was born to save a people for eternity.

Gratefulness fills my heart and spirit for that child….and that mother….and that father.

All days, but especially today……HIS day…..CHRISTmas day.

It is the non-wrapped gifts we will give one another today which will be our greatest gift to that CHILD’s life….

Unconditional love, compassion, laughter, joy

Reaching out to the needy, the hurt, the dying

Praying over the sick, the lost, the weak

Rejoicing with the saved, the seeking, the sensitive

Being grateful for the time shared together, the hands held in prayer, the food to fill our tummies

Spending time with those we live apart from

Remembering those who protect our homeland so we can celebrate in peace

Our leaders, their followers

And ultimately, it is the sharing of HIS GOOD NEWS to those who might otherwise not hear it through our thoughts, our actions, our lives….

It is such a smallish thing our God asks of us….

“Love One Another”…….

And yet, It is His greatest commandment….

Because God is love….His son is love….

They exist to teach us to love….

So, as we celebrate this Christmas Day….

My prayer is that our time spent today is humbly love one another…

In all ways, always (borrowed from my brother Jay)

Blessings,

Lesa

 

 

 

 

 

If It's Monday, It's Mama....In Honor and Memory....

 

If It's Monday, It's Mama.....

 

 

 

In honor and memory of the precious souls who received their wings early....and to those adults who tried to protect them.  To the mother of the shooter who tried her best and to the shooter, may God rest your soul in His mercy.  May all of us take time to hug a little harder, pray a little  stronger and reach out a little further to one another in love and in His name. 

 

Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting in Newtown Dec. 14, 2012.

Children (8 boys and 12 girls)

• Charlotte Bacon, 6
• Daniel Barden, 7
• Olivia Engel, 6
• Josephine Gay, 7
• Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
• Dylan Hockley, 6
• Madeline Hsu, 6
• Catherine Hubbard, 6
• Chase Kowalski, 7
• Jesse Lewis, 6
• James Mattioli, 6
• Grace McDonnell, 7
• Emilie Parker, 6
• Jack Pinto, 6
• Noah Pozner, 6
• Caroline Previdi, 6
• Jessica Rekos, 6
• Avielle Richman, 6
• Benjamin Wheeler, 6
• Allison Wyatt, 6

Adults

• Rachel D'Avino, 29
• Anne Marie Murphy, 52
• Lauren Rousseau, 30
• Mary Sherlach, 56
• Victoria Soto, 27
• Dawn Hocksprung, 47

Not on the released list:

• Nancy Lanza, mother of the gunman
• Adam Lanza

 

If It's Monday, It's Mama......

Daughter,

This is more than a "If It’s Monday, It’s Mama". This is a "Chose now whom you will serve…as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" letter to you.

For some reason, God has laid on my heart to share some "God via Mama" things with you. You decide whether or not you want me to publish this letter as I normally would on my Facebook.

From My Heart to Yours, 

Put God first in your life/Grow toward Him

If you are not studying His Word (even if it is just a passage from Heartlight, etc.) each day, then you cannot be growing toward God. If you are not taking time to pray to Him, how can you expect Him to guide you? We are his children….as your mother, it is my job to tell you this….just as I LOVE it when you call, email, text, message me daily, God loves it even more!! When you make God your first priority, then you enable Him to prioritize all other aspects of your life. He waits to hear from you…DAILY….wanting to bless your life. 

Make worshipping God a priority in your life
 I know you work on Sundays and Wednesdays. I want you to pray God show you how best to change this schedule or to add other opportunities to worship Him (via Bible Studies, etc.). Not being in a worship service with your fellow brothers/sisters, regardless of the reason is like being on the desert with no water. You will eventually die. Maybe not physically….but spiritually and that kind of death would be even worse. Trust me on this. Pray God guide you….to a church family/home/study. You will have to search for ways to Worship….start searching now.

If you want to be "God’s Girl" and "God’s Wife" and then "God’s Mama", you must start now...
Right this very minute. You must not delay in this. Because this "being" all of these things is a practice your heart must make and your body must follow. You WILL NOT become these things unless you practice them daily. If you do not practice being this, you will not become it. Practice. Commit. Be dedicated. In fact, surrender…..your heart to being God’s Girl, God’s Wife and God’s Mama.

If you want a Godly husband, you have to be a Godly woman.  You have to be a Godly woman now so that when a Godly man looks for you in this world, you will stand out! Don’t be afraid. Be bold!!!! Be His and ask God, if it is in His will at all that He send you a Godly, wonderful, loving man to marry!! But know this…..you must be Godly yourself  because that is what a Godly man is looking for. Be open that he may look/be different than the picture you have in your head. God is good to surprise us!! 

If you want to be a Mama, then as your Mama….I have to share this. We both know the steps you will be required to take to even have a hope of being a "birth" Mama. Painful as this is to say to you, I must….because it is what a Good, loving Mama would do. PREPARE yourself now. You cannot expect to ever be a mother if you don’t start preparing your body NOW to become one. Ask God to help you. Commit and follow through on getting back on your PKU diet. Start small. Commit big. Or Start Big and Commit Big…whatever it takes!!!!! Sis….there is no greater pain than wanting a child of your own and not having one. The only worse thing would be to wait until it is too late and then have to weep in great sorrow because you will never get the chance. Grow yourself into a Mama. Then, when your baby comes, however he/she comes, you will be ready. Think to yourself, "if I had a child, would I do this?". "Would I want my child to do this?" You will be 23 years old….still very young, but still getting old enough that the CHRISTIAN foundation of your life should be getting set. I humbly and sincerely believe that the best Mama’s are those who Love God first, themselves second and their family third. That is not how my generation was raised, but I truly believe that if you do not love yourself as a worthy child of God, you will not be able to love anyone else in your life effectively. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. Take care of your whole self: Spirit, Mind, Body. Start today and do not ever stop working on yourself…never.

If you want to live to see your Children/Grandchildren, you need to prepare your body now.
God gives us one body to live our lives in. In fact, He tells us it is a temple….sacred and holy and beloved by Him. My biggest regrets in my life stem around my not loving and taking care of my temple. I let the strain and stresses of life tire me out, wear me down and let myself "go" to the world. It is hard to come back from that, but you can. Do it now while you are young. It will never be easier than it is now to be healthy, but it is a choice. I was told often that my children need a healthy Mama to develop them into healthy children. There is truth in that. And, be real with yourself. You want it, too. You just find it hard to "do the work". Baby….DO THE WORK now!!! You need to accept yourself always, but you need to work to be your best self in all ways. I want to live to see my grand babies. I want to be able to run, jump and frolic with them (because they WILL ask you to). I want to skip with them, ride bikes and take them places. I can only do that if I am healthy. The quality of your time is important as the quantity!! I know you want to be the kind of Mama who can actively "play" with your baby…to run, jump and skip. To ride bikes and Disney rides. Work now to ensure that you will be able to do these things!!
 

Love your family no matter what.

  I feel a sense of humility and unworthiness in talking about family because I struggle with it. Your Dad and I hurt our family through our behavior and divorce and at times, even now with our inability to consistently get along. You know my heart and see my efforts...I pray that I can continue to strive to do my part...It is my prayer that in time, he and I will be able to reconcile our relationship at least to the point where we can be fully kind, compassionate and Godly toward one another.  I encourage you to do the same. You may never hear the apology you want from him….forgive anyway. Forgiveness frees your heart to be Godly. Let God handle everything else. Regarding your brothers – I am grateful that you seem to really love and care for your brothers. I am grateful that you realize that they are "growing" toward maturity just as you are and that some things you just have to "love them through". God calls us to love. Love them. Keep spending as much time with them as you can. I am proud of your ability to love and forgive. It is one of your greatest and most Godly traits. A person who loves and forgives demonstrates to the world the heart of God. You daily demonstrate God’s love.

Work your Passion
You need to provide a good living for yourself and your family but you also need to work in a field for which you can be passionate. I promise you this. If you do not work your passion, it will eventually catch up with you. Work your passion and ask God to bless your work. I have met many people who, at my age, have left better paying jobs to do more "passion work" and they are glad for it! Money is vital to your survival. You cannot have peace of mind very easily if you are worried about how to feed your family. But, I sincerely believe if you work your passion and give to it as if you are working for the Lord that God will bless you!! And, if you do not know what is your passion…then, that is your fault. You can only know this when you ask God to show you! And, He will! In His time.

Get back on your PKU Diet
This is a tough one for me to write about because I know how you struggle, but God has laid it on my heart and therefore, I am going to share it. I love you enough not to be silent on such an important issue. Silence would be simpler…but, if I cannot share this with you, who can? Go back on your PKU diet. Commit. Stick to it. Sacrifice. Surrender. You have PKU. I am sorry you have PKU. No one truly knows how hard this has been for you. But, I do believe I understand about as well as anyone else besides you. You can approach it in several ways. Cold turkey back on track or slow walk to back on track. Whatever it takes…DO IT and baby, do it now. What are you waiting for? We both know that it will be hard. But, so what? I think of Mark Callahan and what he would give for something as simple as a PKU diet to treat our precious Jana. Or Tammy Nischan…don’t you think she would give everything to just have a PKU diet if that meant she could have back in her arms her babies? And us…baby Joseph. I would take PKU, cancer, and even give my own life to have baby Joseph back. Everyone has loss in their life. Your loss at day #9 was that instead of having a normal diet life, you will be very restricted to a vegetarian life. I understand honey, how hard it is, but put it into perspective…it is FOOD. You can have a wonderfully, lovely, fun, exciting and spectacular life and still have PKU. MANY others do it. You can too. We will help!! Let us know what we can do. I promise you this….the day you start, I will walk beside you, in front of you, behind you and with you. You will not walk this journey alone. Your brothers, Ian…and, I believe even your Dad, will step up to help. Start now. Don’t delay…seek God’s power and might!! I truly believe that going back on your PKU diet is key to your having a solid, healthy physical life. Other pieces of the puzzle will fall into place and most importantly, it will demonstrate that you love yourself…enough….to give yourself the very best care you can give yourself.

"Go LEAN in 2013"….you know how our family has always chosen a theme for the New Year…this year is "Go Lean in 2013".  

Physically Lean:

Mygoal is to get my lean body mass down to the lowest that I can which is healthy for my age/height. I will have to work hard…very hard to do that. I have been told it will take at least a year. ONE YEAR!!! But, I can tell already that the more weight I carry, the less life I will be able to enjoy. Being able to move around, bend, flex and frolic is important to me. I want to live another 50 years. I believe to do that, I must get lean physically.

Financially Lean:
My goal (and, frankly our requirement for our family) is to spend very leanly this year. I can do that for 365 days and so can you. I look around our home. What else do we need? How many make up bags does one need? How many books? How many magazines? How many clothes? And, in addition to committing to only purchasing what I need, I plan to slowly but purposefully, get rid of what I don’t need. It will take time, but I really want to rid myself of the burden of possessions and spend more time on people. I encourage you to be very lean in your spending and very big in your savings. To borrow for school the very very minimum you need so that you do not have big student loan debt! Save for emergencies. Save for future plans. Save. Save. Save. Yes, you need to "have a life" and have fun. But, we both know that we spend more than we need and that spending does not buy happiness….spending just buys things. Be frugal….on the daily items and be extravagant on the important things (such as giving to God). One thing I love about Ian…he seems to have a good handle on buying quality when he buys, but in being frugal in that buying. Appreciate more what you already have….and be generous to give to those who do not have.

Socially lean:
Having had approximately 60 days with no Facebook, we have discussed that it has actually been a blessing to have a "fast" from Facebook. There is a reason for that blessing…I "think" more. I internalize more. I am calmer because I pray more. I am hurt less by the writings of others. I probably hurt others less with my writings. I know you enjoy Facebook, but I encourage you this….take a half day and go through it and remove people with whom you do not have some sort of HEALTHY relationship with. I read the other day that staying mentally healthy means to put away those things which would draw you to sorrow, pain on un-health. As a result, I took down some photos in my room, removed some painful reminders of people in my past or current who hurt me or think poorly of me. I LET GO…and gave over to God. I pray you do this with Facebook. PURGE it. No one needs 1,000 friends who are actually just strangers. Remove those who put inappropriate comments, rude comments, cuss words or who use sites which are unGodly. BE BOLD. BE committed. What loss do you really have if you remove these people? These sites? What do you gain by keeping such people and sites and things? AND, finally…..guard your own comments, words, sites you visit. You are too old to allow inappropriate things on your site. And, more importantly….you cannot be God’s girl on the one hand and "worldly fun" girl on the other. CHOSE. Are you God’s girl or not? Facebook is fellowship. Who you allow on your site is who you are choosing to fellowship with. Who you fellowship with is who you are allowing to influence your life. Be very careful with whom you allow to influence your life. God tells us in His word…

For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11

It took me most of my 50 years to realize that God wants GOOD for me in my life….that He not only wont withhold good things, but that He will prosper me…wants to prosper me…but, we have to do our part. We have to get off the world vs Christian life and commit to Christianity. There is no fence-sitting with God.
Commit. Today. Now. And work hard to stay on that path "less traveled"….

And finally, THINK for YOURSELF. One of my greatest weaknesses in my life is that I always worried so much about the opinions of others, felt that their opinions were better than my own, felt inadequate to have an opinion, that I let others think for me. THINK for YOURSELF. But, be sure at the foundation of that thinking is God’s foundation for your life….if you think for yourself but do not have God fueling that thinking, then you will not have the Godly life you seek. ASK God to guide everything about your life, but especially how you think….."Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21. Make God your treasure so that your heart will be in the right place and therefore your self-worth will be based on Him.

I am reading Victor E. Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning. It is required by a class I will be taking in January. I love his insight as a prisoner in WW II with the murders of millions of Jews. He survived through the horrendous life of prison, barely missing being put to death in the fiery crematoriums Hitler put in place to extinguish the Jews. The life he describes is painful to read…survival at all costs. He says,

"forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to chose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you." "We are never left with nothing as long as we retain the freedom to choose how we will respond."

Jesus demonstrated this for us best when He died on the cross….do not kid yourself….He was human, same as you and me. He did not want to die. He asked that He not have to die. But, die he did for you. For me. Don’t wait until you are 50 to figure out what a gift to you that death is. Understand now that there is no greater love….Jesus loved us through His death…Jesus could have declined death. He could have run from it. He could have called down angels to rescue Him. But, he didn’t. And, not only did he not run, but as they drew him down to mere nakedness, he chose to respond in love, "Lord forgive them for they know not what they do."
 
Receive His gift to you…that in HIS heart, you are worthy, you are loved, you are treasured, your are HIS.

People in life will let you down, but God will never.
Circumstances in life will hurt your heart, But God will never.
Illness make overtake you, accidents mail impale you
Life may overwhelm you, But God never will.

I sincerely believe that what God wants from us is our surrendered heart…our all.

And, that all He asks is that we give that to Him one moment at a time…walking always toward Him…faithful to Him…fully loving Him.
I encourage you to remove all things which will keep you from Him…
Chose this day whom you will serve….
I pray you chose Him….

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

Your Homework as provide to me over 28 years ago. Do a timeline of your life…starting with zero (birth) and ending at 100 (death). Average your grandparents ages to give an idea of how long your life might be expected to be and chart out every 5 years with "tics"….list every major event in your life: birth, pku, brothers, change in school, etc. until you get to today…..it is eye opening what all God has done in your life and this time line will help evidence that for you…..then pray. Take time to really pray for God’s direction for the rest of your life….