As Only Your Mama Can......

You were very young when you first told me you wanted to be baptized....such a young girl, such a big step.

We asked you to wait.....and, you did...

I'm not sure now if that was right...to ask you to wait "until you were older" for I realize that you knew the truths that God asks us to know...

Finally, you told me, "Mama, I am ready...really, I don't want to wait any longer."

Upon the suggestion of your youth minister, I had you write a letter....about why you wanted to be baptized....

And, I found that letter today while going through a treasure box of yours....

Precious are your words.....and, sweet is it that you were baptized in the gown I wore when you were a baby.  My mama bought it for me to rock and sing and love on you. 

And, when that wonderful day arrived....you KNEW...you claimed the truths God seeks to hear from all of his children.....and, it changed us all.......

ILYAOYMC,
But....God loves you more....

Mama

Hands raised high….in praise 

Feet lightly walking down a sandy beach….in thankfulness 

Amazing Grace…My Chains are Gone….sung in celebration 

My sturdy pink Bible all God’s words and compelling…..in humble study 

The laughter of my children, the piano playing of my husband, my mother’s precious happy voice over the phone.  My daddy’s hands as he holds mine, the memory of a father in law playing Santa to my children and a mother in law leaving me a legacy of a faithful woman. 

The sun as it highlights the angel hair of my daughter whose laughter my heart will hear all the days of my life. 

The impromptu hug of my oldest son at just the right moment. 

The ILY2 texted to me by my busy, active baby boy. 

The garden my love and I grow to grow us closer to one another and to God. 

The quiet little moments early in the morning when there’s no doubt He calls my name. 

The silent little trickle of tears falling down my face as sorrow would overwhelm me if not for the presence of the Lord. 

The sadness of my friends which is lifted up in prayer. 

The brokenness of my acquaintances whom I see when I walk past… and quietly bow my head in prayer…

The joy of a friends babies as they celebrate their five years. 

The sweet reminder of a sister-friend every time I see a penny….or a heart. 

It’s not just the time in communion in a building made by God.  It’s not only the a'capella singing of the brothers and the sisters of our Father.  It’s not simply the choir and the lesson and the sweet Bible studies with the young….not the pews and the bulletins and the things of formality… 

It’s the little daily livings we do as we hold His hand through life.  It’s the moments with our Father which grip our hearts and touch our spirits.

It’s the kindnesses we share all in His Holy Name. 

It’s the time spent on Him, for Him, with Him…..and with His…..which brings us to our….

Worship

 

As Only Your Mama can…… 

It’s early….I woke up early thinking about you, and it made me smile a Mama’s smile…..

 

 

S is for Sacrifice, Silly and Shirle 

S is for Sacrifice.  Sadly, the concept of sacrifice has become blurred with time.  Today is so much about “me” that our ability to make things about others is a concept that few can really understand.  That is why I want to encourage you to find opportunities to sacrifice.  Not in public so that the world may see, but in private so that God may be witness.  Sacrifice holy….for Him…because of Him….in His name.

Sacrifice is defined as an act of offering something precious…..and, the greatest gift of sacrifice you can give is that of yourself. 

I believe that…..the greatest gift is that of yourself, your personhood, your friendship, your love. 

That is what Jesus did for us…..his sacrifice was the ultimate one. 

You know, I think some do not want to sacrifice because they think that means sacrifice so greatly that there is nothing left of us, but my understanding is that that is not what means… 

To me, sacrifice is a giving of ourselves…not of all so that nothing is left.   

“Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to this pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 

Yes, some have been called to sacrifice all…even their lives, but most are called to do as this scripture says…to live a life of sacrifice on this earth now so that we will be transformed……

Into HIS…. 

S is for Shirle…… 

Shirle Sue Perry Millstead is your Grammy.  When I think of sacrifice, I think of your Grammy, my Mother, who has been a real, authentic and true example of sacrifice.  She gave up much personally to become who God called her to be.

When I take time to reflect on my fifty-one years as Mama’s daughter, I can see that sacrifice…. 

And, I am grateful. 

I think both you and I can agree that Grammy is no wilting flower barely able to hold up her head in the storm of life.  Quite the contrary, she has faced the many challenges and trials of life with her head bowed in prayer and then lifted in “his light”.  She is a strong, Godly woman who refused to give way to hopelessness and who, instead, grew into faithfulness. 

That is her legacy to you.  To be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power….so that your life is a light which illuminates the path to God so that those who would otherwise live in darkness can see… 

Him. 

Watch your Grammy closely………she has the heart of Her heavenly Father and the spirit of His son. 

That is God’s gift to you…..your Grammy. 

Come to know her and know her well so that you, too, can grow into the strong, Godly and lovely daughter of His…

She is your Godly legacy…holding up the lantern of her life and lighting your way…..

Follow, daughter….. 

S is for Silly….. 

 

I think it is appropriate that silly be one of the words in this letter to you.   

I happen to believe that our God loves it when we are silly…..

Laughter is music to His ears and music to His soul…

God tells us in His word that there is a “Time for Everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.” 

“…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance….” 

I have this image of God….watching in glorious delight as we frolic and play and have fun.  I have no doubt when my daddy taught me to do the peppermint twist in the living room of our home at 661 Cherrywood drive that God was there….laughing. 

That when my mother played kick ball with us in the back yard and ran the bases like a maniac trying to steal home, God was there….laughing.

That when you and your brothers and I were in the ocean playing in the sun and laughing as we tried to dunk each other….God was there laughing. 

He loves us…..He loves our joy, our laughter……. 

He loves the music our hearts make when we are joyfully and sweetly embracing the preciousness of this life and sharing that with one another in laughter… 

So, be silly…..be extravagantly, happily…..amazingly silly in your life and share that with those around you so that they can tell the God you live for…the God you worship….the God who guides you in this world is a Father who loves you and your… 

Silliness……

Be silly for Him! 

Blessings,

 ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

……..As Only Your Mama Can

Precious Daughter, Madison…. 

Years ago into my life, my tiny daughter came,

I loved you then with all my heart, and still do just the same.

From ruffled pants to piggy tails, to first lost teeth and school events,

I knew right from the very start, my precious girl was heaven sent. 

 

And as the years have come and gone, I have watched you sweetly grow,

Into the daughter I dreamed about, a debt of thanks to God I owe.

And now, as you walk this journey of life, straight into womanhood,

I know with all my mother’s heart….it’s clearly understood.

You are ready, precious daughter.  God is sending you on your way….

This is for me, your Mama, a most happy, joyous day.

You are simply moving on your own to grow and blossom and bloom,

But in our hearts and in our home, we will always save “your” room.

 Go forth into the world with all the blessings we can pray…

For truly…yes for certainly… 

You are ready for this day! 

We love you,

 

 

Ladder, Mama, Kenton and Johnson  

 

 

 

…….As Only Your Mama Can 

In August of 2009, I initiated a blog to my daughter, Madison, in attempt to say in writing to her what I could not say in person.  As well, it was my attempt to share with her what my parents had shared with me….messages from my heart to hers.  I tried to write each Monday, thus, “If It’s Monday, It’s Mom”. 

Over the past four years, approximately 208 weeks, I have missed less than 24 weeks (6 months) total. It is probably the most committed writing project I have ever attempted and is one of my favorites.  It is my legacy to my daughter.   

I don’t know if anything I have said to Madison (and, now my sons) makes any difference, but I believe that one day it will….if nothing else, it will give them a glimpse into the heart and soul of their mother… 

…and, that will be enough. 

So, as my young-woman-daughter moves this weekend into her own (well, she’s renting from a sweet friend, but Delia will understand what I mean), it is not a bittersweet moment for me.  No, not at all. 

Will I miss Madison?  Miss the many, many days I await her smallish red sports car turning into our driveway…fixing her a cup of tea and talking about that evening’s work shift?  Will I miss the tender moments spent out on our deck sipping our hot drinks and sharing about life?  Will I miss being here as she cries over a patient who is not fairing well or a friend who is struggling?

Absolutely. 

I carry each moment in my heart as a precious gift from God….and, I am grateful. 

It is a privilege to be a Mama..Mother…Mom - especially to be hers.

It is an honor to carry a person within your being, give birth and then watch him/her grow and be and become….

It is a gift from God to share life with the life which God placed within you…. 

As Madison takes her next steps further into adulthood, I will not walk with her in quite the same way.  Our bond will change…it will be different…. 

I have always asked my children to leave our home “under the blessings of your parents”.  Madison does that this weekend.  She leaves my and her Ladder’s home with our blessing, our prayers and our growing excitement as we watch her grow “into one of the loveliest flowers in the garden of life”. 

She’s ready… 

So, to Madison, daughter, friend, and precious girl….I say…

“I love you more than all of the sand on all of the beaches on all of the world….
 

                              .....As Only Your Mama Can”

 

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

Five Minute Friday: Lonely

Five Minute Friday:  Lonely

 

I have been on both sides of being lonely.  I have been in a crowd of people and felt lonely.  I have been by myself and been lonely.  I have lived in the darkness which loneliness can present.  And, I have lived in the sunlight which loneliness can afford.

I have wallowed in it.  I have waded through it. 

I have given way to despair of it.  I have risen to great heights of hope through it. 

They say “hope is a thing with feathers which perches on the soul” 

Loneliness is hope reversed which tears down all the possibility of perching…. 

Or…..does it? 

As I look back of the seasons of loneliness I have endured, lived through, survived, I more often than not see something surprising…

I see surrender 

In my own smallish life, I see those times of loneliness as some of my greatest seasons for personal growth….for internal development and for spiritual renewal. 

One of my favorite quotes is,  

“when you get to the bottom of yourself, you get to the beginning of God”…. 

And, that is what I see when I glance over my shoulder and back on my life….

Surrender…. getting to the bottom of myself...and, the beginning of Him....

Growth 

Faith

Perseverance 

And, so many other qualities I would not have developed had I not been, at one time, lonely. 

And, just as significant… 

When I turn back….when I reach back….when I purposefully think back…. 

It was when I was at my most lonely of days that God’s presence was most revealed to me…. 

Because out of my loneliness, I was able to look up…to look through….to look into….in a way I which would not have been possible had I not at one time, first…been….

Lonely.

And, greater still….when I pause for reflection of those seasons in my life of loneliness….I see now the myriad of people God sent into my life to hold me, encourage me, love me…. 

And, I am grateful. 

While I do not want to pass through that curtain of loneliness any more than necessary….I know now that when I do, to understand that this may be a season for reflection, for growth, for healing…. 

For my faith to widen and my heart to expand….my spirit to increase and my love to endure… 

There is always the opportunity for growth… 

Even when…. 

Lonely

Our “Senior” Moments…….. 

Tuesday, August 06, 2013, began what is certain to be a quick ride to the graduation assembly in 2014.  Johnson and Kenton have come a long way since their pre-school moments at “MY SCHOOL” pre-school under the leadership of much beloved Patty Rhodes. 

Then, on to Central Christian kindergarten (twice), Garden Springs real kindergarten and eventually a move to Scott County Schools as they entered first grade and now enter twelfth grade. 

To say time has flown is a major understatement….. 

When they place your little bundle (in our case bundles) in your arms in the hospital, you are told to hold sacred every moment because they will fly by fast….”they” were not speaking in jest.   

Yesterday….really….yesterday, my babies were babies….in my arms…. 

I blinked twice and now they are boy-men. 

Where did the time go when they were so small that I could lay them on my smallish foot stool and they both fit nicely?  What happened to those little bare feet which loved to slide across the hardwood floors in white-soxed feet?   

I confess, I don’t fully understand boys….even though I have mothered two for 18 years now.  They are just different from us girls.  From the very beginning, they were.....well, just different. 

They can scare me to death with their antics, they can make my heart burst with pride with their serving, they can melt my heart with their words and actions.

 

I love my children with “a purple passion”……and, I wish I could take credit for any of the good that can be found in them, but I cannot.  It is all God. 

And, now, I can sincerely say….THANK GOD they are all God’s doing for if it had been up to me, I am confident, I would not have done the job of raising them they deserve. 

I am always honest in my blogging (perhaps sometimes too much so for some), but I write what I write for my children…..and, no one else.  I simply share with you because I know you love me and my children…and there is comfort in that. 

So, as we head into my children’s senior year, and especially my boys….I ask you…. 

Please pray for them….for God to reach deep inside their hearts and pull out the very best…HIS very best out of them.  Pray that they are safe and that they make wise and good decisions.  Pray for God to direct them on the path He would have them go.  That He will walk with them every single step of every single day that they are walking.  Pray that they are challenged academically.  Pray that they are humbled in real ways which drop them to their knees in the knowledge of whom it is they should live for.  Pray for their fun to be good, clean fun with good, clean kids.  Pray that they shed some bad habits and grow into some new ones.  Pray that they keep their true and real friends and let go of those who would draw them downward.  Pray they are good, solid citizens who grow into the understanding of what it means to have good work ethic and integrity….honesty and compassion. 

Pray that they live up to the very God given potential that He intended them to have…..

And, I will do the same for you. 

 

I truly believe praying for one another's children...especially our seniors....is one of the greatest gifts of friendship we can give one another...

 

 

Blessings…. 

Lesa 

 

P.S.  There is a reason our boys rode to school in a limo....a bittersweet story for another day!

Five Minute Friday: Belong

Deep in the heart of each of us is that sacred place, that room, that dwelling where we can go to be loved and cared for and accepted.  Some find it early in life and are able to grow and thrive and flourish.  Some search for it diligently and longingly their whole existence and never find that sacred passage.  But most….we find it.  It may be laid out all bare and open and ready for our presence, and we may walk right past and have to turn back. It may be all hidden, like a secret garden with foliage hiding is entry, and we miss its entrée and have to cut through.  And, for some, it lights upon us carefully like the ocean’s waves sneaking upon the shores to greet the early riser.  But, it is there for all…it is open to all….it is available for all.  The finding of it ‘oft comes in the way our hearts search for it.  The finding of it is in where we allow our souls to travel in seeking it.  It starts with ourselves….knowing, believing, accepting that we are beautiful, lovely, worthy.  And, it begins with knowing that our beauty, our loveliness and our worthiness is not a gift we can bestow upon ourselves.  It is a treasure already gifted us long before we were formed in our mother’s womb…eons prior to our arriving in this world….way before we began the journey to that sacred place in our heart.  It began in the heavens, where our hairs are counted and our days are numbered and our soul’s longings are answered.  It is where it all began, that need and accepting that truly, really, sincerely….we all….

 

Belong

 

 

 

 

 

……..As Only Your Mama Can

 

R is for Redeemed, Relinquish, and Resolute 

One of statan’s greatest joys is to bind us up in despair.  Where he can make us lose faith, forego hope, give into self-pity, he wins.   

Don’t let him. 

….he will use every resource he can to make you feel bad, sad, wounded…

Unworthy, unforgiven, un-necessary….. 

Don’t let him. 

Why? 

Because, while there can be truth in the things satan will lay on your heart about yourself…. (otherwise, we would easily reject these thoughts), that is not the way of our Father…that is not the “truth” he wants us to see ourselves through…. 

Our God tells us… 

You are wonderfully and faithfully made

You are worthy

You are beautiful

He reminds us

You are precious like gold 

You are holy 

You are perfect 

Can you know this for sure? 

Absolutely….. 

Because our God, our Father….our Savior, our Hope…. 

Redeemed us….

HE redeemed us….he bought us back with a price 

That of His very own son…. 

“since you call on a Father who judges each person’s work impartially, live out your time as foreigners here in reverent fear.  For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but…. 

With the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.”  I Peter 1:17-20 

Redemption is a great gift…and, one only our Father in heaven can give us….

 

Yet, He did….and He does….and He will…. 

Claim that, daughter.  Claim that redemption. 

Because no matter what anyone else might have you believe,

No matter what you tell yourself 

You are worthy…. 

You are Redeemed…… 

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me "son
Stop fighting a fight it's already been won"

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I'm redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember, oh God, You're not done with me yet

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I'm not who I used to be

Because I don't have to be the old man/woman inside of me
'Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name, a new life, I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, 'cause I'm not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, yeah, I'm not who I used to be
Oh, God, I'm not who I used to be
Jesus, I'm not who I used to be
'Cause I am redeemed
Thank God, redeemed

 

~Big Daddy Weave 

R is for Relinquo

Relinquo is Latin for abandon….to leave behind…to let go

I sincerely believe that sometimes in life we have to “let go” and “let God”.  Sometimes, despite our very best efforts to change ourselves, our relationship with others, our lives, we have no control over these things…. 

We come to the fork in the middle of the road…..and, all we can do is  

Give it all over to God and let Him work on it…. 

Exodus 14:14 is one of my absolute favorite verses 

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still”

I have shared with you this verse many times, but what I have not shared with you are its surrounding verses….

“Moses answered the Israelites who were wandering in the desert and were in despair….moaning about how life really was better in captivity (really??).  They even tell Moses, “leave us alone….it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert.”  (really, really??) 

But, Moses…he does not join in their despair, in their weakness, in their fear…..he tells them 

“Do not be afraid….Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.” 

And, God was true to His word…as all those Egyptians were drowned in the sea as the Israelites crossed the sea on dry ground and were saved. 

THIS is a big deal!!! 

When you relinquish your life to God, He does not say it will be an easy life.  In fact, He tells you it will be difficult to be a child of His…. 

But, He also tells you it will be worth it…. 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything.”  James 1:2-4

It took me many years of my life to come to fully appreciate this verse….so much simpler to bemoan my fate of some of the trials that my life had to offer. 

But, I have learned that while I cannot control all the things that this life will throw at me….I can control how I will respond to them. 

I cannot control how others may treat me.  But, I can chose to let that be their issue, not mine.

I cannot control the trials that will come my way.  But, I can chose not to give into frustration or despair.

I cannot control those who would make me feel unworthy.  But, I can choses to see myself through God’s eyes….

I pray you learn this early on…. 

“Until Jesus Christ is the obsession of your heart, you will always be looking to mere men/women to meet the needs that only He can fill.

And, as sure as the sun arose this morning, man/woman will disappoint, hurt, mislead you…. 

But, God…..He is a promise-keeper!! 

Relinquo it all to him…. 

R is for Resolute

Resolute means to have purposeful determination.  Life is not for the faint of heart.  We truly do live in an “only the strongest survive” world.  Sadly, at times, we are made to believe that to be true survivors, we have to lie, cheat, steal and be mean to do so.

That just is not true. 

 

But, what you do have to do is “armor” yourself….just like the knights you witnessed a few weeks ago…you do need to armor yourself with the love, the knowledge, the garments of God….. 

And, you must do it purposefully… 

Resolutely… 

With purposeful determination…. 

Yes, you will get knocked off your horse a few times.

Yes, it may be painful.

Yes, you may have to relinquo some things.

Yes, yes…..

Yes…. 

But, above all else, you must be resolute….purposefully determined to not just survive…but, to thrive…. 

And, there is only one way you can do that with real success…. 

There is only one way you will be able to “get back up on that horse and go, go, go!”……. 

And, that is by holding the hand of the one who paid it all for you…

The one who says, “you have been weighed, you have been measured…..you have been found worthy.”

Your Redeemer….Your Protector…. 

Your One True Father…. 

Blessings, 

Mama