James O. McKenzie, Papaw James

        "Go Rest High Upon That Mountain….Son, Your Work on Earth is Done"

I send my children down a road, to a place I no longer travel, but to where, I know, they always will, and to where, I know, my heart will always follow.  On a road, down through the mountains, across the highway and around the bend in the curve that is called Staffordsville.  I have traveled those miles many, many times since 1985.  But on this one, last trip to lay to rest their Papaw James, they go only with their Dad.

My children have traveled those miles….in the Winter at Christmas time while singing, “Over the River and Through the Woods, to Mamaw and Papaw’s house we go”.  They have traveled in the Spring when the trees were fresh buds of God’s glory and their faces lit up as the “mountains” were kissed by the sun.  They have ridden back seat in the Summer all bathing-suited up and ready for a fresh splash in their Aunt/Uncle’s pool and they have traveled in the Fall when the leaves on the trees turned colors that only God could construe….with “Ahhhs” and “Ohhhss”  as they drove past the canvas of God’s handiwork.

As I send my children off today, with their father, to bury his father, I am drawn deep, deep into a “coal mine” of memories which God releases to me a little at a time so that the pain of loss is bearable.

I love James O. McKenzie.

I always felt his love returned. Even today.

And, while I didn’t always understand his mountain ways of doing things, I did come to understand what was important….He loved his family Big and Powerful and Mighty.  Like the solid, hard rock that is the foundation of his birthplace in Flat Gap, Kentucky, He was a strong and powerful and mighty-minded man. 

His words were so few that even Mamaw told me once about Scott (who is exceedingly like his Dad), “don’t worry…after 50 years of marriage, you will learn not to need to hear him speak, you will just come to understand how he thinks.”  Papaw was like that.  He said very little, but one actually did come to understand what was important to him.

Hard work

A good horse trade

Saving frugally on everything but the family, and then spending generously

Grandchildren

Great grandchildren

Children

Grand daughters

Grand sons

Walking up the hill to his family’s grave site

Looking down from the hill over his family’s homeland

Breakfast bologna

The value of laying a $5 in the hand of a grandchild every time you see them

Sneaking the keys to his children’s cars and gassing the car up

His turn to do dishes

The value of laying $100 in the hand of his child every time he saw him

Insisting on paying because “that’s what Dad’s do”

Slow, steady steps through the woods with his grandchildren, telling tall tales along the way

Back porch swinging with his family

His favorite lazy boy chair (and, being sure to have his picture made holding all the grandbabies in it)

Stories, and more stories of life when he was young

The importance of heritage

Faith in people, even when it wasn't easy

The value of a good woman

The power of a hug, full body, front on

The enormity of a freely given smile to everyone who came through his door

The warmth of his large hands covering those of his little daughter-in-law (I held his hand one time in all of those years…in prayer…before we ate.  I will cherish that holding)

The sweetness of Mountain music and mountain people

Holding a grudge, but then letting it go

Being big brother at all times, through all seasons, not just the easy ones

The manly pride which comes from having sons, grandsons, great grandsons

The manly protectiveness which comes from having a wife, daughters, grand and great grand daughters 

The ability to finally….yes, finally walk down the aisle to receive Christ as His Lord and Savior….because that is what God calls us to do. 

I was not there the day he took on Christ, divorce settling itself into my soul in broken-hearted little pieces, so, I missed that great day with great regret.  Because I believe in my heart that when he took his walk, it was likely one of the most sincere acts I would have ever witnessed. 

 

Papaw didn’t do many things lightly.  Accepting Christ was to him, not just something someone did at random pace, but rather, that which one did with FULL ACCORD…with one’s whole heart, whole body and whole soul. 

He didn’t allow others to push or guilt him into it….He did it in his own time, when he and God agreed it was time. 

I believe God blessed that walk in mighty and powerful ways which we have yet to see the fruit of…. 

Because when he walked, his steps may have taken him humbly to the cross, but they also took those of his flesh and blood with him:  his beloved wife, his sons, his daughters, and all the many grand and great-grands that come behind him, for if you polled them, all would mightily agree….Papaw took that walk in great faith that day…in great hope….in great belief and after years of talking it over with God. 

This is his legacy to his family….to lay down his mountain pride at the foot of the cross. 

This is his greatest gift to his family….to show humility, strength of conviction and strict obedience to the Will of God. 

I see in my children, each of them, constant little reminders to me that yes, they have Papaw James’ bold, brave blood running through their veins.  As water runs strong down the mountains of Eastern Kentucky, so does the blood of James O. McKenzie, run strong through the veins of my babies. 

I thank God for Mr. McKenzie.  For because of him, I have them…..my four precious gifts from God who daily remind me of HIM, my heavenly father, and of him, my earthly father-in-law (always). 

And, as they go to lay him to rest, a rest of which he is so deserving, I cannot help but smile. 

He would want that….he would cut a joke, or tickle or tease, all for the sake of a smile, a sing of laughter, a glance of teary happiness 

I don’t think he would want us to weep today, but rather to smile.

I don’t think he would want us to be bound in great sorrow, but rather to give way to great joy.

I don’t think he would want us to hold back in ego or pride, but to do as he did…. 

Walk forward in forgiveness, in compassion and in LOVE. 

As far as I could see, that is what he seemed to do. 

I think if he was here today, he would look us straight into our faces, and tell us to love one another, to remember the good, to let go of the bad and  

To walk…. 

Up that great mountain……where God and Glory and Mountain Sunshine live. 

Blessings and honor

To a man who I will always hold dear, a true father to me through all seasons,

Even in this season of rest…. 

Lesa

 

James O. McKenzie, May 22, 1927 - January 2, 2013

In loving memory of a man who was good to me and mine in a way which forever changed us.  You will always live on because you live in our hearts and your blood runs through my children like the water runs down the mountain.  You will always be loved by us.

"Go Rest High Upon That Mountain".....

My humblest thanks for all you were in my and my children's lives,

Lesa

If It’s Monday, It’s Mama……on Tuesday, NEW YEAR’S DAY 2013

January 1, 2013

“A” is for Action

When you were 4, I received a call from Southern Hills Montessori requesting I come to the school ASAP.  They assured me that yes, you were perfectly fine, but that no, you would not come out of the top of the tree.  Mrs. Mailfald, you teacher, didn’t sound upset, or mad…..but rather, cautiously delighted. 

Says I to her, “really?  You mean Madison, my daughter, is up in the top of a tree?”

 

Says she, “oh yes, and a very high tree it is…she is almost to the top.”  “You might want to hurry.” 

So, I, being the good mother of an explorer daughter, pull up my pregnant self (with her twin brothers inside) and drive over to the school.  I don’t remember exactly what month it was….late October, I think, because you had on tights and a light jacket, but the sun was shining very brightly and the trees did not have many leaves. 

We stood there at the bottom of that tree, hands over eyes to blot out the sun and looked up high…very high…to see your little tight-clad bottom as it climbed higher still. 

Calmly I ask, “Madison, where do you think you are going?” 

Calmer still, you reply, “On a “venture”. 

 

A what?  A “venture. 

Mrs. Mailfald leans over and explains to me that you were in the “A”s already AGAIN at school, having gone through the entire alphabet already, and that this week’s word for you was “ADVENTURE”. 

“Where are you adventuring to?” 

“Heaven”. 

“Heaven?  Why heaven?” 

“Because when you are UP in heaven, you can see every little thing and every big thing.  It is the only place where you can see both at the same time. 

I look at Mrs. Mailfald….she nods yes…..and shrugs her shoulders in agreement.  They had been studying quantities and differentials – big/small, up/down, in/out, high/low, full/empty. 

And, it was a Christian Montessori, so of course, HEAVEN, was up where God lived and where all things are possible. 

Mrs. Mailfald said, “I think Madison was listening to our lessons.  I think she gets it.”   

What makes me smile most recalling this “Adventure” is that the three of us, Mrs. Mailfald, Mrs. Hartman (your other teacher) and I stood from down below, looking high up and trying to decide…do we make you come down (you really could hurt yourself…it really is a tall tree…you are such a smallish girl.  Or, should we let you climb to what you deem is the “top” and let God show you His handiwork? 

Hmmmm….. 

We stood, by silent agreement. 

We did spread out a little in case you fell so that hopefully, one of us would be nearby to catch you. 

Your little tennis-shod feet climbed higher and higher… 

“Mama….I am getting very high, am I in heaven yet?” 

“I don’t know, are you?” 

Little hands grabbed exceedingly smaller and smaller branches, you bit your tongue and kept climbing.  You were not slow about it at all, but rather moved with a purpose. 

My heart gave way each time you stumbled trying to reach the next branch to climb to….each time the branch seemed to get smaller and smaller in your hand… 

Until finally, you came to a spot in the tree where the branches had broken way and there was a clearing where sunlight poured in and onto your face so brightly that you could not see well to move farther. 

“I made it!!  I made it!” 

“And, it is B E A U T I F U L! 

You spelled it with a ShOuT!!!!! (yes, you actually spelled the word out loud). 

I can see Everything….and, you started naming off all the wonders you could see…one by one. 

The tops of houses, the birds, the swing set, the picnic tables, cars driving by, kids playing, the tops of or heads, the sun….. 

It was a life-changing moment….for you 

For me 

Then, as quickly as you went up, you “ventured” down…not at all afraid you would fall, but with child-like wonderful confidence that you could do anything, including coming down from a tree where you had seen heaven! 

At the last branch, I reached out my hands to catch you and you jumped into my arms….cheeks all pink and eyes are bright….joy on your face! 

I hugged you hard and with a grateful heart. 

“Mama….I had a ‘venture……and, it was good.” 

“Can I keep it?” 

“Can you keep it?”  “What do you mean?” 

“Can I keep it so I remember it?” 

I don’t know if you have “kept” this memory of the tree climbing adventure, but that was when, as your mother, I started truly journaling hard…writing details of your life so that one day, when time was once again my friend and I could sit to write, that I would have kept enough of the memory to write them to you. 

It seemed like such a smallish ACTION at the time, but now, as I find little written reminders of your life’s adventures, I smile…..and, I write.

So, as we head into this New Year 2013, I want to challenge you to ACTION. 

Life changing action…..committed action…..forward action. 

Those things you want to accomplish this year will not happen unless you work toward making them happen….work toward them. 

Prayerfully ask God’s direction for the next 365 days, whisper to Him your hopes and dreams of great adventures for your life….

 

Ready……Set…..Go

 

Gary Black……“is thinking: The best way to be a different person one year from now is to change your thinking. You will BE, 365 days hence, exactly where your thoughts take you.   ~Gary Black, Campus Director Southland Christian Church”

 

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead……James 2:17 

I challenge you to call upon the faith of your youth to grow your faith this year….so that you are ALIVE and have ACTION toward Him….. 

That same faith that drew you up toward Him by climbing the tallest tree….in four-year-old faith…. 

Have that, claim that, live that faith 

For the next 365 days…. 

And watch the mighty, powerful, beautiful, creative, consistent, true, amazing ways God will reveal Himself to you!! 

“Why are you sleeping?  Wake up and pray!”  Jesus to the disciples asleep in the garden Luke 22:46 NAB 

Because Action, at its heart, starts with waking up and praying! 

Blessings sweet daughter, 

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I Cannot Do it For You, But I Can Do it WITH You”

 

 As we have talked about my recent blog, I have a lot of peace.  Peace that you are finally “ready” to work on some of the things of which were written.  Specifically, going back on the PKU diet.

Your Mama has been praying for 2,456 days (give or take a day, from the time you were 16 until today) for you to return to your PKU diet.  The reason I know the date is that chose to tell me on your 16^th birthday that you were no longer going to stay on the “crazy, outrageous, un-doable” PKU diet.  It became a source of great dissention…..and pain in our relationship. 

I think it might help for you to read our “mother daughter love story”…… 

April 10^th was the best day of my life.  After trying for two years, your Dad and I were blessed to become “with child”.  I always liked that expression so much more than “pregnant”.  We were thrilled.  You were the first grandbaby for my parents and the first in several years for your Dad’s side.  Everyone was thrilled.  I never felt closer to your Daddy than when I was with child with you and your brothers and Joseph.   

I remember clearly the day the test was “positive”.  Elated….that is the word I felt.  Elated…thrilled…amazed 

And Grateful…. 

I had a wonderful pregnancy….magical even. 

I remember the little things… the look on your dad’s face when I showed him the positive test, hearing your heartbeat the first time, going with Grammy to buy your bedding (a story within itself), early morning moments looking at my belly in the mirror… 

I LOVED being with child….pregnant. 

And, so did your Daddy (he in fact, gained 15 sympathy pounds).  You, Joseph, Kenton and Johnson are the best of your dad’s and my love….the very best.  And, nothing can ever change that.... 

Little things…memories 

Sitting in church gently swaying side to side….a friend said she would always remember me “rocking” you as I worshipped in service.   (She later told me it was my fault that you had to be "moving" all the time). 

I very purposefully read to you, played classical music and talked to you….constantly. 

And, in the wee hours of the morning, I would pray over you….pouring out my young mother’s heart to God that He would care for you not just in my womb, but all of the days of your life…

And, I am going to share something with you I don’t think I ever shared with you before…. 

I KNEW…. 

I knew the minute we conceived you at Myrtle Beach (truth) and even told your Dad…

I knew you would be a girl

I knew you would arrive in good shape 

And, in the deepest parts of my heart, I knew there would be something special about you…which would make you unique…I didn’t know what it would be, but I knew. 

So, while we were surprised to learn at day #9 of your life that you had PKU 

I was not really surprised

I remember getting the news and going to the hospital in tears….with great fear…. 

God put people in my and your Dad’s path to help us…. 

Your Grammy…I know she was in pain because not only was her granddaughter at risk, but her daughter was hurting as well.  She held my hand…and my heart….enabling me to hold yours.  She was our North during the storm. 

Your Poppy…Poppy was out of town but flew back so that he could be with you…with us. I remember his looking at you for the first time....precious. 

Your Mamaw Betty and Papaw James….Mamaw said, “well, it is just as it is and we will just all deal with it”.  Brief, but comforting words in their acceptance and simplicity…you were “theirs”….and, because you were theirs…they would take care of you. 

Judy Leek.  Judy cancelled a flight to go with us to the doctor’s office that first visit.  She is, I believe, a nuclear physicist or a chemist.  Brilliant in many ways.  The doctor told me to immediately stop nursing you (something I LOVED) and to bind myself up and feed you PKU formula only.  I was devastated.  Judy reached over and grabbed my hand and forced me to look at her…she said, “Lesa, do you want to nurse your baby?”….I tearfully nodded yes…she said then remember….OUR GOD is bigger than PKU.  If you want to nurse, then nurse your baby.  And, so I did.  You were the first (and only as far as I know) PKU patient to be nursed by your mother.  It just wasn’t’ done.  Judy’s lesson to me that day was powerful. 

MY GOD….YOUR GOD…..is more powerful than any other thing this world can throw at us! 

And so, your Dad and I became PKU immersed.  We vowed to one another, as we walked around the block of our neighborhood that fateful day, that we would be the best PKU parents ever and that you would be the best PKU patient at UK Hospital. 

And, honestly, until you were 16, that was pretty much truth for you.

We heel stuck to take blood specimens, made PKU food from scratch, journaled your PKU formula intake, journaled your weekly diet. 

It was a labor of love in which ALL of your family took part.   

Not because we had to....but because we wanted to give you the very best opportunity for the very best life God had for you. 

The ONE thing I would do differently and which I do now is that I would have given over your PKU MORE to God and less to our human hands.  I feel that way about several things in my life, in your life.....but, PKU is right up there at the top. 

I think we became so wrapped up in trying to "perfect' your PKU that we forgot there is only one PERFECTOR....and, that is God. 

So, as we head into this NEW YEAR.....2013..... 

Let's do differently.  

 I love Maya Angelou's quote,  

I did then what I knew how to do.
Now that I know better, I do better.”

- Maya Angelou 

The Bible tells us....my favorite verse....

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man(woman), I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE. 

I never really noticed verse 10 until recently....The WORD says "in part"....that when "completeness comes, what is “in part” disappears."

You and I are not children of the world.  We are HIS children.  And, while we will never be perfectly mature nor perfect, we do need to put the ways of childhood behind us and move toward maturity with Him.

It is a journey.....a lifetime journey.

But, life is a journey of which you are not alone.

 

GOD is your mighty fortress and strength.  HE can do all things....for you, through you, with you. And, He will if you seek HIM first with "all of your heart".....which is why I say that often to those whom I love.  Which is why I shared that text message with you the other day.... 

"with all of my heart"......because of HIS heart. 

And, right there, where God allows Mothers the humble privilege of standing, I stand. 

In front of you, beside you and behind you.... 

Always... 

Because while I cannot do your life, your faith, your PKU, etc. for you.... 

I can do it with you.

And, I give my word...on my Mother's heart, calling upon all of my Mother's love for you....

I will be there.....as long as God will allow.   

For you see, He role models that for us....Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

 Deuteronomy 31:6 

And, where God places HIS footsteps in our lives, it is our blessing....and our humble obligation to follow... 

in faith 

And, in love. 

You can do all things through HIM....don't just read those words....bring them to life in 2013. 

ILYAOYMC,

Mama

 

 

 

 

 

 

If It’s Friday, It’s Monday plus four days because Christmas is Important…

Lay Them All Down…..Give Them All Over….Those New Year’s Resolutions

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9

 

Dear Daughter, BEFORE you write down a single dream, goal, hope for 2013…..kneel down and ask God to set the course of your steps this coming 2013.  Give over your plans…from the smallest to the most large, to Him.  For, no matter what comes from your pen to the paper, if it is not His will, you would not want it to happen.

Pray….then….  

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.

 

Give your life over…. 

Surrender your plans to the one who can shape and mold and draw them in ways you cannot even imagine. 

Don’t surrender in fear of what may or may not happen.  Surrender in faith that God’s BEST will happen. 

Claim His will for your days…… 

I believe like any good father, God wants us to share our goals, our dreams, our hopes…..so, I pray you do write them down.  But, I pray, this year, you only do so after seeking His will for your life.  After committing to His plan.  After surrendering to His fullness and understanding. 

And, having done so, I pray you fill 2013 with the constant prayerful seeking of His will while achieving the things in your life which are your dreams blessed by Him.

 

Blessings,

Mama

All days are precious gems to be treasured, but there is something especially sweet of this day, CHRISTMAS day.  For while we don’t know the full details of Jesus’ birth, we have set this day aside to celebrate it.  And, not only do we celebrate His birth, but we celebrate our time with one another, and I cannot help but believe that makes HIM smile.

As I sit here at my desk writing in the early am hours awaiting the arrival of my blonde haired angel-daughter who will be coming in from work, I have such a sense of joy come over me…

I am blessed….

I am blessed with a husband who has loved me since I was thirteen years old, and who has loved me in such a way that I am able to understand how “Christ loves the church.”

I am blessed with three children who daily remind me of God’s love, God’s compassion and God’s grace.  They point me to Jesus with their lives…..the remind me for whom I live and that without whom, I would not live.

I am blessed with a “deposit in heaven” who, even in his un-life on this earth, points me and my children to the heavenly life with God.

I am blessed with a mother, father and host of siblings and nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins who call me to a high bar of love and compassion.

The blessings flow and flow in my life and in that of my family…

…..all because of a CHILD who was born to save a people for eternity.

Gratefulness fills my heart and spirit for that child….and that mother….and that father.

All days, but especially today……HIS day…..CHRISTmas day.

It is the non-wrapped gifts we will give one another today which will be our greatest gift to that CHILD’s life….

Unconditional love, compassion, laughter, joy

Reaching out to the needy, the hurt, the dying

Praying over the sick, the lost, the weak

Rejoicing with the saved, the seeking, the sensitive

Being grateful for the time shared together, the hands held in prayer, the food to fill our tummies

Spending time with those we live apart from

Remembering those who protect our homeland so we can celebrate in peace

Our leaders, their followers

And ultimately, it is the sharing of HIS GOOD NEWS to those who might otherwise not hear it through our thoughts, our actions, our lives….

It is such a smallish thing our God asks of us….

“Love One Another”…….

And yet, It is His greatest commandment….

Because God is love….His son is love….

They exist to teach us to love….

So, as we celebrate this Christmas Day….

My prayer is that our time spent today is humbly love one another…

In all ways, always (borrowed from my brother Jay)

Blessings,

Lesa

 

 

 

 

 

If It's Monday, It's Mama....In Honor and Memory....

 

If It's Monday, It's Mama.....

 

 

 

In honor and memory of the precious souls who received their wings early....and to those adults who tried to protect them.  To the mother of the shooter who tried her best and to the shooter, may God rest your soul in His mercy.  May all of us take time to hug a little harder, pray a little  stronger and reach out a little further to one another in love and in His name. 

 

Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting in Newtown Dec. 14, 2012.

Children (8 boys and 12 girls)

• Charlotte Bacon, 6
• Daniel Barden, 7
• Olivia Engel, 6
• Josephine Gay, 7
• Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
• Dylan Hockley, 6
• Madeline Hsu, 6
• Catherine Hubbard, 6
• Chase Kowalski, 7
• Jesse Lewis, 6
• James Mattioli, 6
• Grace McDonnell, 7
• Emilie Parker, 6
• Jack Pinto, 6
• Noah Pozner, 6
• Caroline Previdi, 6
• Jessica Rekos, 6
• Avielle Richman, 6
• Benjamin Wheeler, 6
• Allison Wyatt, 6

Adults

• Rachel D'Avino, 29
• Anne Marie Murphy, 52
• Lauren Rousseau, 30
• Mary Sherlach, 56
• Victoria Soto, 27
• Dawn Hocksprung, 47

Not on the released list:

• Nancy Lanza, mother of the gunman
• Adam Lanza