Thursday, May 31, 2012

My Greatest Treasurers….here on earth…..Happy Birthday! 

I am grateful….to be the mother of a daughter is a true blessing.  Daughters are treasures the heart wraps around all of your life giving you joy and light like only a daughter can. 

And, equally but differently, I am blessed to be the mother…of not just one, but two sons.  Sons are the gems in the heart of a mother which embolden her to be strong and courageous and brave.

My sons, while coming as twins do….within minutes of one another are so very different in ways only my mother’s heart can see.  While others claim a likeness which makes them hard to tell apart, I have never once had that problem.  Even in the womb, Baby A was quiet, reserved and strong while Baby B was active, busy and bounding.

God walked me through a very special journey to arrive at motherhood of sons.  He took me to places that, while painful and frightening at the time, caused me to grow in faith and trust and love as only God can. 

I am not special of person nor deserving of my children.  I think, rather, God knew that in my weakness, I would grow stronger with my children, because of my children.  I think God, in His infinite and tender mercy and wisdom knew that I needed my children to grow me into the person God intended…


I love my children….deeply….”as only their mother can”..

I love Madison more than all the sand on all of the beaches in all of the world.

I love Kenton more than all the stars in all the skies in all of the world.

I love Johnson more than all the blades of grass in all the fields in all of the world.

I love little baby Joseph more than all the dreams and wishes and prayers of childhood….

I am not only a mother, I am a grateful mother.  Today, May 31st in the wee hours of the morning, I gave birth to two precious sons who would forever change my heart, my life, my personhood. 

My sons, while different, have some truths in common…some bonding seams of being which make them brothers…created together by father, by mother and knitted by God.

I noticed these things as I prepared a “Name Board” for each of my sons for their Seventeenth Birthday tomorrow.  I have grown to love this new tradition of “name boards” which Ian initiated a year ago for me.  You write the name of the person at the top and then list words to describe that person..one word for each year of life plus "God’s"…

These are not professionally crafted, perfectly made name boards…these are rough hewn wooden boards with names printed on white paper and cut out by hand, glued in place and lovingly- thought- through- boards.

As of tomorrow, all five of us Young-McKenzies will have a name board…with words like

“precious….selfless….expressive….rapper….honorable….athletic…warrior……sweetheart” written on them.

Ian initiated this “work board” tradition in an attempt to give me a more positive view of myself.  He posted the board on the wall of my bathroom so that each morning as I ready myself for work, I am able to view how he sees me….how he believes God sees me.

It works.

It works very well.

Such a smallish, little gift…

Such a large, impactive gift…

And so, as I ready our family for Seventeenth Birthday Celebrations….for the lives of my sons….I sit at my desk and pray God gives me the words to describe my sons…who they are now and who God will grow them into in the future.

I ask their Ladder, their sister and their Grandparents for input….it is a joint effort.

Words are powerful….just like sons and daughter.

And, the words we surround our children with will mold and shape and form their hearts.

Let them be loving..let them be kind...let them be truthful...

Let them be God's...

Blessed to be the mother of K and J.....and M.

Especially today,

Lesa

Monday, May 28, 2012

Listen Less to Your Own Thoughts and More to God's Thoughts....

Listen less to your own thoughts and more to God's thoughts
-- François Fénelon

When there are five of you in a medium sized home, it can be difficult to find quiet.  Don’t get me wrong, I love to hear the voices of my children and husband.  I love our early am chatter as we shuffle about in hushed voices and quiet slippers (well, most of us).  I love our “home from school/work” talks which are full of laughter and light and smiles (well, most times).  I enjoy the dusk conversations after dinner has been eaten and the dishes are washed (well, when we get to eat together).  Conversation is a constant in our home.



We are not perfect.  I will never ever again strive to provide the image that we are  perfect.  We have our moments of raised voices and mean words, but they are the exception rather than the rule and are substantially less and less all the time than in the past. We have our moments of highly charged opinions, stubborn refusal to share the remote and not wanting to do our chores.  But, they occur less and less.



We have a lot of “our words”, thankfully, mostly good words….but, they are mostly “ours”.

And, what bothers me most….what we are trying to work on…what we strive to grow in is listening less to our own thoughts and more to God’s.



How does a family go about doing that?  Good question.



When my children were young and I was their sole entertainment director, our lives were filled with K-love, Barney, Bible Men Two and Veggie Tales.  Those years have to be some of the sweetest years of our lives.  They started in 1992 and ended in 2002.  Yes, I can date them.

The reason I can date them is that in 2002, we started listening less to God and more to ourselves, our tv, our radios then Ipods.  We heard more game whistles, more cracks of bats, and less Bible story movies, Bible story tales and prayers of our children.



You cannot do that.



Well, you CAN do that but it will be at great cost.



And, once you replace the voice of God in your home with the voice of the world, it is hard to go back…hard to shut that door….hard to start over.



I love the saying from Oprah, “once you know better you should do better”.  That is where we are in our lives.  Quietly, methodically, carefully trying to lover the volume on the world’s voices and increase the voice of God.



It is a sweet, sweet sound.



But, it comes with great effort.

I envy those friends of mine whose children are smallish and whose influence of their children is primary.  To be able to go back then and understand what I do now, would be a great blessing.

But, I cannot do that.



So, I must carry on with where we are....praying God will remind my children of the foundation of their youth and will forgive the season of lapse.



And, I believe He will.



I think one of the things I most love about God, other than the fact He is God, is that He sees the very very best in us.  He believes the best in us.  He grows the best in us if we but ask.  No matter what. All the time.  Regardless.



He provides in us hope of change......and, because of Him, we are able to do so.

And, so I have great confidence that in this world where we are working to lower the volume of the world in our home and increase the volume of Him...that we will make progress....

We have to.



Our lives, our legacy and our little-ones-yet-to-come depend on it.



So, we try.  Against the odds, we try.



Against the television, cable, Ipod, Ipad, bored teenaged children, poorly versed adults, mean-spirited broadcasters, cell phones, and general public, we strive...



to take back our words....



and, instead....



listen more to God's.



“Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children will be many in the land of the Lord…”  Deuteronomy 11: 18-21



Blessings,

Lesa






Saturday, May 26, 2012

My sons turn seventeen next week. 

And, conversations are turning more and more into, “what are you going to do when you grow up?”



Mostly, what I hear is “I don’t know.  I can’t think about that today.  How do I figure out that?” “I’m thinking about it”, “I have a few ideas”…..



One future career which keeps coming to the forefront of our conversations is joining the military.  As in Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines.



My first response was, “some of the finest people  I know are in the military.”  Because that is true.



In every case.



But, those men/women are not my sons.



I think of my Daddy, my children’s Papaw James, my husband’s Daddy Herschel, our friend Brent, The McIntyre Brothers, Dave York, Kermit and Kevin McKelvey, Chip Jaenichen, and the list goes on and on…I think of Sara Guth, Emily Logsdon, Erwin Roberts, Shane Shablotsky, Chris Stivers, Melanie Deal’s husband (a/k/a Mr. Darcy), Josh Fogle, Kevin Anderson, Ed Valentine…..



Are my sons made of the same cloth?  Have I, as a mother, raised boys who could turn into men like these who have gone on before them? 



And, what exactly do those men/women of service have that makes them military strong?



I imagine a room filled with soldiers whom I know and love…and, this is what I envision:



Honor, Integrity, Truth, Bravery, Work ethic, Tenacity, Vision, Strength.

I see determination and intelligence.  Compassion, health and discipline…..lots and lots of discipline.



My Daddy, a one-tour Vietnam Vet is my image of a worthy soldier.  He’s strong of character, fastly disciplined, securely able, fit, intelligent, and quick.  Daddy is honorable, noble and strong.  He can do anything, anywhere, anytime and he will.  Daddy is no-non-sense, get it done, do it now.  Daddy has first hand witnessed what battling for our country means and has laid his life on the line for all generations.  A US flag means something to my Daddy….and, if you are around him, you need to stand straight and cross your hand over your heart in Thanksgiving for the men/women who served,  and be silent while the US Anthem is played.  He knows the cost. 



I think this applies to many of the soldiers I know.



So, as my sons’ conversations grow toward Military participation, I pause….



Do they have what it takes?  Am I exposing them to the qualities and characteristics they would need to be a soldier in the US Army, Marines, Air Force, Navy?



And, if I am not, shouldn’t I be?



And, even if they never ever enter the military service, shouldn’t I be preparing them as if they were?



And, if I believe I should, then shouldn’t I possess those same qualities so I can teach them to my sons? My daughter?



And, do I even know what are those requisites?



So, I did as all good modern-day mothers do…I Googled



“Characteristics of Military Personnel”

1.  Courage

2.  Selflessness

3.  Good Planner

4.  Quick thinker

5.  People Skills

6.  Cool Temperament

7.  Lead by Example

8.  Will

9.  Determination

10. Discipline

11. Intelligence

12. Interested in the world around them

13. Dedication

14. Honor

15. Communication

16. Respect

17. Committed

18. Noble

19. Confident

20. Ability to take direction



And, then, as my sons’ lay nestled in their beds, sleeping peacefully and snoring lightly, I took this measuring stick and measured them…



Do they possess these qualities?  Do they possess the potential for these qualities?



Do they have the kind of heart which would want to possess these qualities?



And, it was a sobering moment….



Because, while laying their character out against the ruler, I could not get past my own…do I possess these qualities?  Do I possess the potential for these qualities?  Do I have the kind of heart which would want to possess these qualities?



For, if I, their mother, do not, then how in this great, wide world, do I expect my sons to possess them?  CAN they possess them if I do not?  If the other individuals who surround them do not?

I pause to think of some of my toughest battles, and how I handled them….did I handle them with the precision, grace and dignity which befits a soldier?  Did I pursue avenues of peace, compassion and preservation of the greater good?  If the measuring stick of solder-ship was laid against my character, would I measure up?



And, if not….what can I do to change that?



It is a good question.



It is an answer-able question.



Others before me have done it.  Others around me do it.



I can as well.  And, so can you.



And, the men and women of uniform……their only true difference between them and us is that they already have done it.  They figured it out.  They set their path straight.  They committed their bodies, minds and hearts. 



They made a choice.



They fight and battle and serve for us, regardless of whether or not we ever figure out what they already have…



That service of our country, service for our family, service for our man…



It is the greatest, most rewarding, most brave and noble thing we can do.



It is not a perfect world the military have.  In fact, some would share facts that it is all about sacrificing…real, true, gut wrenching sacrificing…



But, at the end of the day…at the end of the battle…at the end of the war…



At the end of their life…



When friends and family gather around to hear the twenty-one gun salute, when the Red, White and Blue is laid draped over their frame…



They will have peace.



Because when the ruler of life is laid against their character, they will have measured up……



They will have measured up bravely, nobly, honorably….



Their lives are ones which make us want to live our own better. 



And, in their honor…we can.



We should.



And, it starts…today….



By remembering…..by laying flowers by the graves of those who have gone on before us, by holding fast our hand over our heart when we hear the anthem, by serving the families of the men/women who serve us, by being the best “us” we can be…



Taking out the list of “Characteristics of the Military” and using them as a guide for our own lives.



And, by never…ever…..ever…..forgetting the price of our freedom comes with it great cost, by men/and women with great heart who serve our country with great heart.



Blessings on your Memorial Day…



As my Daddy says to all….”Go Forth and Do Good”…….



Lesa


Saturday, May 19, 2012

I Love the Joys Which Come With Summer!

The mother in me loves the joys which come with Summer.  The children are able to sleep in late.  The mother is able to sit in the quiet of the early morning and rest in peace knowing her babies are all nestled in their beds.  The “Ladder” is holding down the fort and maintaining safety while blessing the quiet time of wife and mother.

The joyfulness of summertime reminds me of perpetual Sunday mornings and those who know me know how much I love my Sunday mornings!

And, with each Summer, I am able to reflect on those summer’s past and smile…

Summer, over the years, has brought with it so many “puddle-licious” fun things.  When my children were smallish, we would sleep in -  all soft and warm and cozy in our bed.  I would get up and fix my famous French toast with lots of butter and syrup and grape juice.  When it was all ready, I would call the children down to the table and we would figure out what exciting adventure we would do for the day.   Sweet are the memories of my barefoot children bounding down the stairs and into our kitchen/family room while the sun was rising above the trees.  Their hair in crazy bed-head poses and their eyes still trying to wake up from their dreams.  Morning brought with it much laughter and frolicking at our home when my children were young.

“What are we going to do today?” was the big question.

“What do you want to do?” was my reply.

“I want to build a fort.  I want to go to the “pond” (a duck pond down the road), I want to swing in the tree swing.  I want to have Grant over to play.  I want to swing upside down on the swing.  I want to go to the park.  I want to have a picnic.  I want to go to the movies.  I want to set up the basketball.  I want to play Barbies.  I want to go get an ice cream cone.  I want to ride my bike.  I want to go fishing.  I want to go swimming.  I want to explore the attic.  Can we go to McDonalds?  Can we go visit Grammy and Poppy?  Can we go to the ball park?  Let’s play with our water guns.  Let’s sit on the roof.  Let’s climb to the top of the tree out back.”

I want to….Can we…Let’s were frequent sentence starts at our home during summertime.  Precious, precious words.

It was a common thing for me to get caught up in their dream-list and I confess up front to being an adventurous mother, saying yes to many of their wishes.

Can we bring our outdoor castle inside the family room?  Yes

Can we have over ten kids to play with on the same day?  Yes

Can we eat pizza for breakfast and cereal for dinner?  Yes

Can I wear my “play dresses and jewelry” to church?  Yes

Can we eat popsicles on the porch?  Yes

Can we buy ice cream from the ice cream truck?  Yes  Can you loan me the money to do so?  Yes

Can we make forts with your family quilts?  Yes



Can we? Yes

Can we? Yes

Can we? Yes



Summer brought with it many yes-es  and  it made for a joyful season in my and my children’s lives.



You were permitted not to make your bed every day during Summer.  You were allowed to walk outside in your bare feet and pajamas.  Dinner could be eaten outside on the picnic table.  Canning jars could be used to collect lightening bugs.  Rocks could be pushed aside to locate nefarious bugs.



Lest you think our home was total mayhem, I share that I ran our home in a pretty tidy, organized fashion when my children were small.  Once they hit kindergarten, they were home-schooled in the summer (well, except for Friday’s).  We took 30 minutes each day to do Mequon Math, read, and work on our hand-writing.  Our dining table became our school desk and sweet are the memories I have of excited children sitting in chairs pulled up to our table working on their “summer” assignments.



We worked on etiquette…writing thank you notes to family members, sending notes to those at church who were sick.  We memorized poetry and read out loud to one another. 



And, we talked and dreamed and drew close to one another in a way only done when you are young and innocent and free.



Sometimes, when I close my eyes at night and reflect on those sweet times, I can still see their little feet dangling from those tall, dining room chairs, see their chocolate embraced faces and hear their sweet little lilting laughter and giggles.  Melts my mother’s heart.



And, then they grew.



As my children grew into school aged children, our summers became more purposeful.  They grew more opinionated about how late they should get to stay up at night, how far around the neighborhood they should be able to ride their bikes and how late they should get to sleep in in the mornings.  They began to have more say in how their days were spent and it generally made for great fun.



They still enjoyed a good bout with nature and we began making serious trips to visit their  grandparents.  Every summer when my children were young, we would go to my parents for a few days of fishing, rolling in the grass and dipping into the pond.  My daddy put the first rifle in each of my children’s (and two nieces/cousins’) hands teaching them the right way to fire a weapon.  Going to Grammy and Poppy’s house was an adventure like no other.  Their home was old and smelled like wood and stone and summer fun.  Their yard was a virtual playground for lightning bugs and cook outs and yelling at the top of your lungs. 



Cousins Emily and Kelsey were around the same age and lived close by so they would join in on the Summer fun at Grammy and Poppy’s.  In fact, a sweet tradition was started.  Once every summer, we met and “traded.”  One summer, we would meet them “half way” between our home and theirs and my children would go with their cousins to their home for a few days.  The next year, we would meet at the same, country convenient store and they would come back with us to our home.  We have many sweet photos of these “swaps” over the years.  Precious, cousin-fun at its best.



As my children grew older, we added sports to the summer mix.  I won’t digress here, but suffice it to say that in our family the rule was, “you were going to be an athlete.  You will either be a good athlete or a bad athlete, but you are going to be an athlete”.  And, while there are things about this season of our lives I would most certainly do differently, I will say that there is a purpose and reason to play organized sports and our family played!  A lot.



Later, as my children became middle schoolers, summer was all about the friends.  Friends stayed over most weekends, friends ate over most days, friends played over most evenings.  I was one of a few stay-at-home mothers on our street and we began to understand the need for organized play.  Cheryl Zimmerman and her children became near and dear to our summer-time lives and zoo time, free summer movie flicks and trips to the community pool were staples to our days.  Our boys climbed trees and built forts and played night ball tag.  Years of four square and monkey in the middle were played in our driveway circle.  Most amusing to me were the games the kids would make up and then fight over because someone broke the rules.  Break the rules of a made-up game?  Absolutely!  Cheryl and I tried to let them work it out and watched as they forged their friendships.  And,  because we were able to do that, she and I grew close and our children did as well.  There was no side-taking or judging.  We treated one another’s children as our own.  And, they were.



I will never forget our first summer in Georgetown…my boys and Cheryl’s son decided to have a water balloon fight.  Thus, the need to fill up hundreds of water balloons.  And, they did just that.  All over  my brand new, freshly painted bathroom!  Needless to say, they were grounded for a long time from having water balloon fights (well, at least for that day).



We hiked together and swam together and swung together.  We at peanut butter sandwiches and hot dogs and hamburgers.  We made s'mores and got sticky and had fun.



We collected bugs in jars and then in store-bought bug catchers.  We had bug nets and worm containers.  We found birds and snakes and stray animals.



It was a magical season of our lives and we were blessed to share it with such wonderful families, but especially the Zimmerman’s!



Now, as I write this and reflect on our summers with teenagers and young adults, it is a very different season in life.  Yes, they still love staying up late watching TV and movies and sleeping in late the next morning.  Yes, they still don’t make their beds very often and can be found walking outside in their bare feet and pajamas (well…their shorts and t-shirts).  Yes, they still love a good popsicle, the fridge door is never closed because they are forever scrounging for food and they still enjoy a good bon fire with friends.



But, it is different.



Summers now are different.



For a while, I was a little sad with the difference.  It is more quiet even when they are all at home.  It is more serious because now they each work jobs and have to negotiate with one another on who can drive the car.  Now, they rather spend time with their girlfriends and friends than with me.  Well, at least it feels that way at timesJ even though they say this is not true.

But, I am learning to appreciate these summer moments.



I am learning to try to be up and “present” when my daughter, Madison, comes in at 7 am from work so we can share a few mother-daughter moments.  I am enjoying hearing about her job and realizing how she truly does help her patients with her kind and compassionate heart.  We discuss many many sweet intimate things which only a mother and daughter would understand.  She is becoming a woman, right here at my kitchen table with the sunlight shining through her hair reflecting and making her look like an angel.  My daughter – child – woman – angel.



I find it a precious sight when my son, Kenton, breezes in the front door post work from McDonalds with a cup of unsweet tea and a straw for me.  Every night since he has worked at McDonald’s, almost without fail, he has brought me a tea….just because.  Joy is felt when he comes through that door and sweetness and light and smiles.  Kenton is my more reserved child, so I do ask him questions which he generally is kind to answer.  At times, he will join me at our kitchen table or on the deck or in the yard and we will just talk.  While he chooses his words (most times) carefully, those he does share are generally seasoned with gentleness and logic and reason.  My son – man to be – gift.



I love it my son Johnson comes home from baseball practice and paces around the kitchen talking to me while I work at the kitchen table.  Johnson is a child who enjoys a good conversation and I have learned that if I just sit and be quite and let him speak, I will learn many things about his heart.  I have been privileged to share in his worries, his fears and his frustrations during times such as these.  I have been humbled to witness his heart, his compassion and his love during our post-practice conversations.  Johnson and I have some pretty deep conversations while he “dougies” around our family room, and he even lets me join in on occasion.  My son- child – man to be – treasure.



So, I am learning that while our summer time fun is waaayyy different that it was twenty two and seventeen years ago, it is still just as precious….just as magical….just as precious.



Of all the gifts God has blessed me with, time with my children is one I consider my greatest. 



What they are is…



Mine.



Gifts loaned to me by God to love, nurture, grow and develop.  Treasures to enjoy and be blessed by.



And, they do not disappoint.



And, while I am tempted to put a caveat (a word or expression of caution) about all I have written here so that anyone reading this will understand that I understand we are far from perfect, I choose not to….just this once….



It’s summer at the Young-McKenzie home….where “love lives” and for the season, we are going to reflect on things positive, and sweet, and precious.  We are going to throw open our windows and sing to the air…we are going to watch movies, visit with friends, go to church and frolic.  We are going to visit the lake, and swim in the pool and dance in the kitchen.  We are going to visit our grandparents and spend time with our friends and play games in the yard.



We will serve others at centers of Hope and Houses of Amen and read books with our siblings (starting with summer reading, The Invisible Man).  We will drive our vehicles with the windows down and the wind blowing in our hair, we will play our music hopefully not too loud and we will make S'mores.



We will be…and enjoy…and laugh….and play…



And, in so-doing, it is my mother’s hope that we will grow bonds stronger, deeper, and wider which will enable us to reflect the “son’s” glory all the rest of the year…..



For, at the end of the summer….at the end of the day…that is all which really matters…



Summer’s Sweet Blessings,



Lesa